Do you think this is wrong then?

[Twiglett]

foster mother has baby with foster 'son'

she fostered him from 14 .. he's now 21

They fell in love after she & her dh seperated.

A step-son (IMO) is an entirely different situation, as he would be the son of either parent. This guy was the son of neither parent. She was foster mum, not step mum.

Why shouldn't they have a shot at happiness?

Exactly, FF!

The point I was trying to make in the earlier post.

Nah, not a moral in you FFF - I know all about your stealing antics!!

they didn't fall in love and start a relationship while he was living in her care though. he had moved to the husbands house when they split so it's not like she coerced him into it or used her position as carer to exploit him.

it's odd yes but morally wrong? not really, she wasn't an adoptive mother or a foster carer since he was a babe.... she took him in as a teenager and by the sounds of it her husband and her did a good job of caring for him in those years if he's now a trained plumber.

he was a grown man when they started the relationship and i seriously doubt her ever saw her as a 'mother figure' seeing as he does have a family who he's only separated from because of having to flee kosovo. he's obviously a very brave young man who knows his own mind to have done that at the age of 14, hardly what you'd describe as an easily manipulated frightened child.

It?s not illegal, but morally and ethically it?s wrong.

This woman was a foster mother to this boy when he was probably at a very vulnerable point in his life. He would have relied on her for emotional support which she would have given him. He was probably at the point in his life where puberty was setting in, and where feelings for those of the opposite sex were beginning to emerge. It?s possible that he had a strong attraction towards this woman because she was quite possibly the only female figure in his life who had ever given him love and affection and emotional support. And although it took time, ultimately she would have reciprocated that attraction, but she should have walked away. If a social worker got involved with someone who she had been responsible for placing in care there would be calls for her head because it would be seen as unprofessional. I equally wonder if people would be so sympathetic and wishing them all the luck if the situation was reversed and it was a girl having had a baby with her foster father. Somehow I don?t think so, in fact I can almost se people writing how he would have taken advantage of her vulnerable state etc etc.

Flame... you're just jealous you didn't get the shop assistant I did

Bah!

It pays to have a friend lose weight

I personally dont agree with it as she would have been like a mother to him and him a son to her. I cant understand how feelings could change. I find it a but gross tbh.

He is a grown man.

She is a grown woman.

They were when they got together.

They were both free and single and of sound mind enough to make their own decisions about their lives.

So what?

It would be like in years to come if Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise split up, and her having a relationship with his adoptive son Conor.

it doesn't sit quite right but honestly there is nothing morally wrong with it. It is no more disturbing than a grown woman having sex with a much younger man. If they are both consenting adults.....

expat, let me put this scenario to you, and it's not made up, btw.

Female, 3 daughters(youngest at the time 8) meets man, has 2 Kids by him and marries him...fast forward....
the 8 year old girl is now 18 and her and that man have an affair behind the females back and now live together...

Yes, that man is not the girls father, but he came into her life and was her fatherfigure....
similar story really....and same feeling in myself, it's emotionally "incest", even though not physcially!

its an abuse of power and 'mother' status. despite his being legally an adult.

Ultimately they are both adults but I wonder if it will cause him psychological problems in the future.

yes both adults but deeply phychologically subversive to the 'parent' to engage in such a situation.

by virtue of the child being in foster cre suggets that there is a problem with his family so severe that he has to be removed.

therefore he wants a family of his own.

what better than phychologically than to fuck ones own mother figure?

But this isn't a step parent situation, 3, and it's not a situation where he was removed from his family due to abuse.

He came to the UK as a refugee.

principle remains the same though doesn't it - through whatever reason he is seperated from family - ccreating family of own etcetc

expat, o.k. not the same situation BUT he was still taken in by this family as their own child, and now him and his Fostermother are a couple...like I say,it's more a emotional thing that screams WRONG to me...