Hitting

[Newburygirl]

I am at my wits end. My two and a half year old keeps hitting me. There is often a reason - over tired, hungry etc but sometimes I can't figure it out. She also pushes and hits her new baby sister ( now 9 months old). I am so sick and tired. No matter how many times I remove her from the situation and bring her back in a bit later on she continues to do it. I wear glasses and they are being smashed into my face and it hurts

I find that I am beginning to lose my temper and this scares me. I feel like hitting her right back. I haven't done it but I feel so close to it and I look at her in such a horrible way. The feelings I have inside make me feel terrible. I feel as if I am the worst mum in the world and wonder whether I shouldn't go back to work full-time because I am causing psychological damage to her. I never thought I would feel this way towards my own child but I am sick of being hit over and over again and I am sick of her hitting her sister. I love her so much but I don't think I am any good at this parenting thing.

Can someome please help? Has anyone been in a similar situation at all? Does anyone else feel as if they are crap at being a parent?

She does it because she gets a reaction. Keep up with just removing her from the situation, say no, and concentrate on the baby if it is the baby she has hit, or read a book if it is you.Just as a way of ignoring her. She has had a big change with a new baby coming along and now that her sister is 9 months she is more of a threat. She can get her toys, etc and she now realises she is here to stay. Don't be so hard on yourself. It isn't your fault, most kids do it and being a mum is hard and knackering.

Thank you. I needed to hear that. it's good to get feedback.

Ok I can't deal with this anymore. I am losing my temper and I never thought I would. I wantde to be so good at coping and I can't do it. I've tried ignoring her behaviour and saying no and timne out. Some days it seems to have an effect and she is amazingly good with her little sister but I flipped again today and I am afraid. I never wanted to be this way. I don't know who I am. Does anyone else ever go through this? I feel like such a bad parent. I feel so angry inside and I don't like her at all. I'm thinking that I should return to work earlier than planned because of this but then I would miss out on my little one. Help.

i know exactly what you are going through, and it is horrible to feel so helpless and evil as a parent - you are not, it is just a very difficult situation. speak to your health visitor - maybe they have a behaviour clinic that you could go to - no stigma, just you need help, you all do. I speak as one who has been there exactly same as you. the theory is all very well, but in practice you need more concrete support. all my sympathy. x

my ds used to do this when he was about the same age - and it does hurt he is quite strong!!

all you can do is keep on trying i promise they do grow out of it (he is really gentle now )

have you tried the naughty step and all that

maybe she is jealous of the baby -try getting her involved like in changing the nappies (bringing you stuff etc) and at bath time

or how about the tv (that can work wonders!!)

stick a dvd on or a cd when she is tired to divert her attention

i don't know but don't give up just leave the room if you feel like you are losing it - ds used to drive me bonkers and dd (16 mths isjust beginning to!!)

ooh and forgot to say she will be starting nursery soon won;t she ? she will probably learn there how to interact with people and what is acceptable and what isn't (they tend to be really well behaved away from home)

so that might help too and at leastthen you'll have a couple of hours break!!

Thank you all! I am getting much better, just despair. it's so hard when you say the same stuff time and time again and it doesn't seem to register. Actually there's a really good book - the Child of Our Time book and there's some stuff in there about the developmental side of children. It makes it easier to understand why we adults have to keep repeating ourselves and it makes it easier to see that it's a natural part of life and not our fault if we struggle or get tired. Parenting is such a hard job, I think one of the hardest things a person can ever do.

Thinking of you. Honestly, you are NOT alone! You wait, tomorrow you will have a really lovely day and wonder what you were worrying about. x

Ok. Against better judgement was told to try naughty step. This has back-fired as DD loves this! She hits even more so that I pay her attention and she can go on the naughty step. NAB3 you are right about not giving her attention! Thanks for advice. Only problem (only...hah!) I am having now is that she continually kicks, pushes, pokes, hits, scratches her sister. Sometimes she is giving her a hug and making her laugh and then she gets over excited and squashes her sister or sits on her. I try to praise the good bits but before I know it she's putting her fingers in her sister's eyes. I find myself telling her not to do this, at which point, she lookst at me and grins and does it even more!
Today she put her finger in her sister's eye and screwed it round. I was in a car park and really didn't know what to do. I told her it was wrong and as I was leaning over to put her seatbelt on, she scrathed my face! What do i do ??