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Original poster

Been reading a loo-book called "What Is Your Dangerous Idea?" - good one about parenting

26 replies

Pruni · 15/01/2007 23:47

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harpsichordcarrier · 15/01/2007 23:53

blimey
how liberating
potentially

Original poster
Pruni · 16/01/2007 08:35

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Original poster
Pruni · 16/01/2007 10:06

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MrsBadger · 16/01/2007 10:21

[grabs kitkat and reads essay with mouth full]

golly

I think the nub of her idea is that we'd have to rely entirely on our instincts for it really to be true - I got the impression that she thinks we should trust our biology rather than trying to Parent as an active verb.
It means we'd have to rid our heads of Tanya Byron, Jo Frost and SWMNMB etc as well as Victorian ideals of rod-sparing, spoiling and the Augustinian concepty of selfishness in babies.

So if you really do just what you like you'll end up being a balanced parent as at some hardwired level you know what to do, it's just a matter of getting down to the hardwiring...

Twiglett · 16/01/2007 10:24

can't be bothered reading it .. may I comment anyway?

has she referenced Steiner at all .. because that is a zero teaching philosophy which doesn't seem to work for ALL children .. but does for some

Jimjams2 · 16/01/2007 10:28

Hmmm I think I agree with her up to a point tbh.

oranges · 16/01/2007 10:34

I think what she's saying is that we should care for our children, but not think that the way we care for them will have a direct impact on how they turn out. After having sat through a baby einstein dvd for the first time this weekend, I am convinced this 'educating' babies thing is nonsense.

Original poster
Pruni · 16/01/2007 10:50

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Jimjams2 · 16/01/2007 10:54

"It's that I cannot fathom why feeling like one is optimising one's child's every waking moment is such a seductive idea."

Parents who do this, are imo seriously misguided (not use Baby Einstein- whatever floats your boat etc and some kids like it- I mean parents who constantly think about "improving" their child). I always think they must be teribly insecure themselves tbh.

I track ds1's learning etc because he can't learn by himself - actually he;s just startgin aged 7- he;s just learned to imitate so now he can start to learn by himself, but before then he couldn't. BUt the other 2, no, they have all the skills they need to learn. Having 3 very different boys, different characters, I can see how little effect I can have on them.

Original poster
Pruni · 16/01/2007 11:09

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Issymum · 16/01/2007 11:50

This co-incides with Levitt's views in Freakonomics: at a broad level it's not what you do as a parent but who you are. "Parents who are well-educated, successful and healthy tend to have children who test well in school; but it doesn't seem to much matter whether a child is trotted off to museums, spanked, frequently read to or plopped in front of the television."

I find that deeply reassuring.......

BTW Levitt also contends that there is no statistical difference in school test outcomes between a mother who stays at home until her child goes to school and one who doesn't, although clearly school test outcomes are not the only measure!

Jimjams2 · 16/01/2007 11:56

"If you can do it, why wouldn't you?"

Because you're putting your expectations onto your child - incredibly damaging in my opinion.

I do agree with you that the way you live your life will rub off on your children- which was why I agreed with her up to a point.

Jimjams2 · 16/01/2007 11:57

Must read freakonomics.....
Always think that every time I see it quoted....

Original poster
Pruni · 16/01/2007 12:01

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oranges · 16/01/2007 12:03

Well, first, we don;t know if monkey music or whatever works, and second, you not wanting to do something is a perfectly valid reason for not wanting to do it. I can't imagine a child thrives with a harassed mother forcing herself to attend these damn classes.

Twiglett · 16/01/2007 12:16

am currently reading freakonomics .. can heartily recommend it

Issymum · 16/01/2007 12:21

JimJams: Freakonomics is fun and interesting but I'm not sure how good it really is!

Issymum · 16/01/2007 12:22

Oops - sorry Twiggy! I guess what I meant is that I would recommend it, but I'm not sure I would use it to engage in a debate with a professional statistician.

oranges · 16/01/2007 12:23

Issymum, how often do you engage in a debate with a professional statistician?

Miaou · 16/01/2007 12:24

Can I lower the tone here and ask if you actually read it whilst on the loo???

Twiglett · 16/01/2007 12:26

I try to avoid statisticians

think I like it cos I did Economics degree and its actually far more interesting that anything on my degree

Twiglett · 16/01/2007 12:26

it is 'pulp' though .. ie easily written for the common man .. and nowt wrong with that at all

OrmIrian · 16/01/2007 12:28

Sounds good to me.

Now where's that Fruit Shoot?

Issymum · 16/01/2007 12:31

"Issymum, how often do you engage in a debate with a professional statistician?"

Never! But I wouldn't want to underestimate the conversational activities of my fellow Mnetters.

welshmum · 16/01/2007 12:42

Baby Einstein was given to us for dc1 and I did sit with her and watch as it used to make her laugh, then I realised it was also making her poo....everytime. It became somethig of a ritual for us, I'd have a cup of tea and a biscuit, she'd have a laugh and a poo.
She's never had any trouble with poo, I can't rule out the video's influence.