work or full time mum - what would you do?

[angie17]

I have a ds aged 2.4. I went back to work 3 days a week when he was 6 months. At the time I was ready to go back and enjoyed being with adults again. However over the last year I have started to regret my decision to return to work. I am a legal executive and earn £700 p/m. I don't particularly need to work as DH earns enough for us to live comfortably. I have quite a stressful job and often need to work on my days off. I always get phone calls from the office when I am at home and don't feel i get paid enough for the work I do (hope I haven't offended anyone as I do appreciate £700 is good for p/t work)
My problem is I have lost interest in my work and I constantly think about handing my notice in. My DH and I have had so many conversations about it and he says it is my decision and he will support me whatever. We are ttc baby no2 and I know that I will not return after maternity leave but my dilemma is do I wait until baby no2 comes along before leaving (whenever that may be) or go now.
On my days off I feel I have to cram as much in as possible such as food shopping, housework, playing with son etc that I am shattered by the weekend. I love being with my son and hate leaving him at nursery when I go to work. This morning he clung to me and I almost burst into tears when I left.
Sorry for the ramble I know it is my decision but looking for advice/guidance/crystal ball!!
TIA

blimey talk about a no brainer
hand your notice in. it is obvious from your post that you want to be at home. your ds wants you to be at home. in a really shrt time he will be at school f.t.

Been to the chemist yet?

Been to chemist and BFN Going to have a serious chat with DH tonight about handing in notice. Thanks for your replies x

Chin up, if you hand that notice maybe you'll get more time with DH to work on it.

Can you take unpaid parental leave and see how you find it or go freelance? I chose not to go back to work even though I had an offer of 2.5 days per week and would have earned the same amount of money as you. I did not feel ready and I was also really unhappy with the money situation as the majority of my wages would have gone on nursery fees and I also knew that I was grossly unpaid for what I did. I do however miss it and I worry that I have made it really difficult to get back into the workplace. I suppose there is also an element of the grass is greener whatever you choose to do.

Sorry I am also rambling! I think in your shoes I would probably take a period of unpaid parental leave and see how you feel after that.

The only way working motherhood works, IMO, is if the mother really enjoys her job and earns enough to pay for good quality childcare and some treats for herself/her family like gym membership or nice holidays. But none of that applies to you - your job is stressing you out and is infringing on your "free" time (of course it's not free because that's when you are dcing your second job of bringing up a young child and running a house).

I would hand in your notice.

full time mum every time

full time mum..no question about it.

Im a sahm with a 19 month old toddler with ds2b due in 2 weeks time. I have found it harder being at home this time than I did when working and pregnant with dd BUT I find it so much more rewarding. Im in a lucky position financially BUT wouldn't miss dd and her daily activities for the world. Hope it continues with ds2b.

Give up work. I am lucky enough to be in your position and am making the most of it. Maternity pay isn't that much anyway and you might get maternity allowance of a hundred quid a week if you conceive and second baby is born within a year of you finishing work. (I think it was a year, I got it after giving up work in August and having ds the following April). Life's too short to do anything that makes you unhappy when there's an alternative.

if the money doesnt matter and the jobs a pain in the butt, er its a no brainer..
have a great time with your kid before next one appears..its what you make it and i wouldn't have missed this for the world...

Decision made - I am handing my notice in on Monday. I am off today but going tomorrow but won't have time to speak to anyone so will do it Monday. I had a good chat with DH last night and when we looked at how much money we had spare each month we couldn't believe it. I think because I am working I just spend without thinking but I am looking forward to the challenge of being more economical. We have decided to still put ds in nursery but only one morning a week as he is starting state nursery this year and I want him to still have some sort of routine and it will give me a few hours to get all the housework and shopping done so the rest of the week is our time.

I think the problem I have had so far is that I am too indecisive and I kept thinking if I wait until i am pg then problem solved. DH is also in for a new job which would mean us moving away so again decision made for me. I now feel like I am standing on my own two feet and doing something for myself. I was also worried about what i would do in the future but I have skills i can use or re-train but for now being there for my ds is good enough for me. I woke this morning and felt different then realised a huge weight had been lifted from me. A bit soppy I know but thankyou ladies for pointing me in the right direction x

I'm so glad you've decided and that you feel better. Well done!!!

angie17
am so pleased for you..am sure it will be right decision! you sound so excited about it!
its one and only time imo and too precious to make it stressed, juggling, running around headlessly, if you dont have too!
we dont have much but really dont want for ought either and you do have time to look around and save cash here and there..its great teaching them to cook and just taking it at their pace too
one thing though, i've just bought myself a few hours off per week and went swimming today, fab; if you have some spare time i would advise do something for yourself..unless you are lucky person with rellies, friends etc fighting to give afternoon off
good luck to you all, it can be great fun, but its hard work too, hardest job / best job ime

Good luck, I don't think you'll regret it. There's years to restart your career or even choose a different one. Ds won't be a baby for long.

Well done! I'm sure thats a load off your mind.

do you have to write something out? have only ever worked freelance i dont know what you have to do to resign
are you still feeling up about it?

I have written a letter terminating my employment but I have to leave for court soon and doubt whether I will get back and there are no bosses here today anyway. I am back in on Monday so will do it then. Feel a little bit apprehensive now but still determined to do it.

Relax it will be fine. You are resigning not being fired.

Congratulations on your decision Angie - I really wish I could do the same. Best of luck for Monday.

let us know how it goes..good luck

Hi Angie, know you've made your decision now, but just thought I'd add that I am in exactly the same situation. I have been working p/t since dd(youngest) was 3 months old on an as and when basis, but went f/t at a new company in Sept. After xmas, I couldn't face leaving my DS(3) and dd(2) at nursery from 8-6 every day. It broke my heart and they were so unhappy. I didn't go back and feel so much happier, relaxed and relieved and enjoy spending time with my children.

I've done it. I leave at the end of Feb and feel great about my decision. Looking forward to being a domestic goddess!!