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Original poster

What's your view?

17 replies

HiddenSpirit · 30/05/2004 09:39

Hi all, just after the views of MN'ers on kids playing with toy guns. Do you think it's ok, or do you think that it will ultimately lead to them being violent/using real guns when they are older?

I ask as DP and I are having a discussion (amicable not arguement I may add ) about this as DP's mum has bought DS1 a toy gun.

I'll try keep it neutral without saying who says what

One of us feels that toy guns are a big no-no as it will lead our DS1 into a life of violence & crime. The other thinks that it is completely harmless and that by actually refusing to allow DS1 to play with toy guns it makes the whole gun business more appealing.

What do you think?

OP posts:

Miaou · 30/05/2004 09:53

Is the toy gun just a replica of a gun or does it actually do anything?

I ask because I have seen friends' ds with a water pistol (which is great for squirting water) and my dd's have a pop gun which fires little soft balls. It kind of takes away the "I'm pointing this at you to pretend to kill you" feeling which always makes me uncomfortable, but satisfies the need to point and fire! Incidentally, I think that most kids, if not given a toy gun of some sort, will either use a stick or point a finger and say "bang" at some point, it just seems to be part of growing up.

Flip · 30/05/2004 10:03

Ds1 has lots of toy guns which do different things. If he doesn't have a gun with him he'll run around shouting bang.

I used to play army with the boys in my street in the long grass. The first gun my mum bought me was for my fifth birthday and it was part of a cowboy suit. So even some girls like guns to.

I don't have any urge to go and kill someone at this moment.

I think that kids should be allowed to be kids. Banning something leads to curiosity.

pollyanna · 30/05/2004 10:08

I was really anti toy guns and banned them from the house. This hasn't had much effect though, as ds (age5) makes guns/swords/stabbers (!) out of other things and runs around killing things alot of the time! and now ds is really into action man, spider man, ninja turtles, power rangers etc etc, he is really focused on fighting and killing baddies which has come from his friends. I do tell him that it isn't nice to talk about fighting and killing, (and he is quite a sensitive little boy usually!), but I am struggling against his genes/peer pressure/society (whatever!).

Flip · 30/05/2004 10:12

Ds1 is into Crime Scene Investigation and insisted on me buying him some crime scene tape. I also find finger print dust on most surfaces.

He's also into FBI. So I don't think it makes any difference what you do. They find out from friends.

lailag · 30/05/2004 10:16

I've also never bought toy guns for ds, but from the age of 2 he has made them himself out of duplo. I've seen the same thing happen at nursery, using a toy hairdryer as a gun.
Try to make it as uninteresting as possible but don't/can't forbid it.

twiglett · 30/05/2004 10:44

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mummysurfer · 30/05/2004 11:14

we have similar 'discussions in our house'
water guns etc are Ok in my eyes, they're not the same as imitation guns to injure,
just as i don't want my ds to play pretend murders by pretending to stab someone i don't want him to pretend to shoot to injure/kill someone. granted he does it any way but he knowss i disapprove and he knows why and that is good enough for me. it has made him thing a little more about what he is doing.

a friend of mine gave into pressure from her dh to make it OK for her ds to have guns. she now says she really regrets this decsion as she hadn't thought about how socially unacceptable, amongst most of her friends, guns are. her ds won't go anywhere without one and she feels the criticism from many others.

Freckle · 30/05/2004 11:23

If you don't buy the guns, they will make them out of something - even bananas. I don't think the MIL buying your son a gun is going to turn him into a gangster or anything else. Do you also ban swords? Do you ban them from watching anything with guns/swords in?

The influences are there whether we like it or not. The best you can do is guide them down the right path and show that playing at shooting is OK, but anything else is wrong and dangerous.

Mine have swords and water pistols. We now have some fighter planes, which the boys wear on their hands and shoot each other with lasers. Should we ban that??

I used to help out in reception at school and, on the days I helped, there was always junk modelling available. All the boys made guns of one description or other - without exception. So maybe the tack to take is - if you can't beat 'em, join 'em

Beetroot · 30/05/2004 11:27

This reply has been deleted

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Beetroot · 30/05/2004 11:28

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

HiddenSpirit · 30/05/2004 11:31

Ok time for me to fess up I'm the one that doesn't have a problem with it as such. DS1 knows that it is not nice to point and pretend to shoot people (he's been making guns out of DS2's duplo bricks and DD's pretend hairdryer for long enough). DP had a right go at him when he started doing this, but has calmed down over that a lot and now DS1 hardly ever makes pretend guns.

Last weekend DP and DS1 went to MIL's for the weekend. MIL took DS1 into town and asked him what he wanted, he picked a toy replica rifle. DP refused to let him bring it home with him but when we spoke on the phone that night he agreed we did need to have a discussion about it.

My points that I put to him were - by banning him from playing with them it makes them all the more appealing and who knows where this could lead in future and also that I (and DP) played with guns when we were young and we have no murderous/violent tendancies. Well, except to DD's real mother

OP posts:

Original poster

HiddenSpirit · 30/05/2004 11:36

That was also another point I made to DP, Freckle. DP plays a computer game that is based mainly on shooting people/blowing up buildings and has played this many a time infront of DS1. I told him he was being a bit hypocritical and also with regards to TV watching (cartoon network is a rather violent channel IMO) although the kids do seem to prefer Nick Jnr to CN so that's something

OP posts:

Jimjams · 30/05/2004 12:05

My friend banned guns from her house so her ds1 just used a hoover hose to point and shoot with. I think boys will always find guns if they want to.

KateandtheGirls · 30/05/2004 13:26

I understand that boys will always make guns out of sticks and anything they can get their hands on, but am I the only one that sees the difference between that and actual toy guns? No, I don't believe that playing with toy guns leads to a life of crime. I do believe that letting your kids have toy guns gives them the understanding that on some level you believe that guns are acceptable.

Now maybe I have a slightly different take on this, living in the US, in the deep south no less. And (as my name suggests) I have girls, not boys. But I would never let my kids have a toy gun (water guns are a little different because they aren't designed to look like real guns).

Soapbox · 30/05/2004 13:45

Well I've always taken the approach adopted by the majority here - i.e. don't let DS have a bought gun, but he has adapted everything imaginable into a gun.

However, I and just about all my friends had cap guns as children which we used to play cowboys and indians etc with. None of us have turned out to be remotely violent as adults.

I think it is just one of those things - we think it might just play a part in the make up of a grown up gun man even although there is no evidence at all that it ever plays a part. (I don't think it is any more likely to do so than mock wrestling with siblings as children mean you will turn into a wrestler as a grown up).

I think I ban them as much to avoid the 'bad mother' looks from other more politically correct and sensitive mothers

suedonim · 30/05/2004 14:13

I suppose my unease with all guns is that they are made with only one purpose in mind - to (pretend to) kill. I agree that childen will make guns from lego, sticks, etc but that isn't the primary purpose of such objects. I'm not that happy with swords, either, although I think there is a difference between guns and other implements in that a gun enables death to be meted out remotely and in relative safety, while sword fighting means you have to put yourself in danger too.

Actually, I think I'm trying to say the same as Kate&2G, really. But hypocracy rules here. Dd1's most prized possesion is a Light Sabre (she's 17yo today, btw) while the ds's spent many happy hours torturing Star Wars figures in fires and with scissors and knives. Sigh.....

roisin · 30/05/2004 15:37

We don't have toy guns in the house, and any that are given as presents go straight to the charity shop, ditto swords. I actually have more of a problem with swords - the boys had toy swords at a very young age ... and used to hit each other with them ... Well what else did we expect them to do with them for goodness sake?! I put straight in the dustbin anything that is used as a pretend sword or weapon ... it works for us. I certainly haven't put anything in the bin (for that reason!) for the last 18 months or so.

I just don't think guns are an appropriate toy. Occasionally my boys have made a gun from K'nex or whatever, but actually pretty rarely. I also think toy weapons encourage boys to play more aggressively ... that's my personal experience anyway.

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