Need help, practical advice, support etc.

[PersonalClown]

I've been in my new home about 3 months now and was enjoying it till this week.
I've had 2 complaints about ds' behaviour in his own home. WTF!
Ds is coming up for 5 years old and is ASD and my neighbour has complained about the amount of noise he makes. I thought she meant his tantrums which I do try to keep under control but she meant the amount of banging he makes on the floor upstairs.
I wouldn't mind if it was excessive but it's just that ds is a little heavy on his feet. How am I supposed to stop that?
He's at school till 3:30pm and is in bed around 7-7:30pm and it's not like he's stamping either, it's just going up and down stairs and going from one room to another.
I should be grateful that I only have one neighbour as I'm the end house, but she was informed when I took on the tenancy that he was ASD and there may be a few problems.
Last night she accused me of encouraging the local kids to play football against my end wall. WTF! I don't want to hear banging against the wall all day but I accept that it comes with having the end house.
I have asked the kids not to kick the ball so hard against the wall and to stop at a reasonable time but because my neighbours can hear it in their homes, I get accused of encouraging it.
Has anyone got any practical advice on limiting the banging, short of soundproofing the house, or how to deal with my neighbours?
She managed to make me feel so guilty that I am failing my son that I am sitting here crying. How pathetic is that?

I would print some info about Autism from the NAS site and then writte a letter informing her that your son has a condition called autism, outline some of his conditions and explain that there are times when his behaviour is difficult.

explain that in his own home he should be able to feel safe enough to have such outbursts and as long as they are within your own 4 walls and not after 10pm you do not consider them to be a nuisance.

i would then add that given the fact that she was warned prior to you taking the tenancy (im amazed that you would do that...its really none of her business who moves in next door) that your child had this condition she should try and be a little more tolerant of the noise levels.

AS for the kids playing football, its against YOUR wall. Its got nothing to do with them.
ask them not to kick the ball aginst the wall if it bothers you but dont do it just to appease the miserable old hag next door.

If she complains again report her for harrassment to the local council. you are not doing anything wrong.

Thanks for the reply. I do try to keep him calm and his behaviour is getting better since he started school but I just couldn't believe that she was complaining about noise during the day. I thought you could almost expect it!
I put up with music so loud that you couldn't even think at my last place but was told by my housing association that nothing could be done as it was during the day.
I think I'll just let him carry on doing what he does during the day and argue with her later. I may put in a complaint with the HA also as they called me with the complaint and acted like I was letting my child loose with a drum set!!!

I know exactly how you feel as my son is also ASD and we live in a HA property. when i moved in we had no furniture as i had left my ex...yet after 3 weeks i got a call saying the neighbours had complained that i hadn't cut the grass!

I didnt have beds a cooker or a fridge at this point but instead i had to go and buya lawnmower to please the f'ing neighbours.

You are doing nothing wrong, your son is doing nothing wrong.

I owuld print the stuff from the NAS site and send it to your HA as well. I would ythen writte a letter of complaint about the fact that they have passed the message on to you rather than explaining to the neighbour that noise during the day is just tough luck and that noise caused by a child playing or having a temper tantrum is no grounds for a registered complaint.

I can fuly understand how angry you are, i would be too.

Thanks for the advice. I have just sent an email to the HA explaining how angry I am that I am not having my situation understood. I don't want to have complaints, cause problems etc but I feel that they have just taken her complaint and had a go at me without taing the time to look up the situation or try to understand/offer an explaination.