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Original poster

Does anyone leave their child in the car when shopping?

157 replies

opinionsrus · 14/01/2007 06:59

Just wanted to know what the "proper" situation is with this as there seems to be no guidlines.

Is it ok to leave a baby in the car if fast asleep?

Is it ok to leave toddler in the car if happy?

Not including summer months when it is boiling of course, when you wouldn't or you make sure windows left open (which would present another risk as sm could get in).

Is there a "rule" that its ok to pop in to the local shop for milk, say, but not elsewhere (to leave in large supermarket car park), I don't mean to do an hours shopping, just for a couple of bits?

Just out of interest. Is it just your own judgement? My DS comes with me, but just wondered if it is supposedly ok to leave them too???

OP posts:
belgo · 14/01/2007 07:01

I never leave my children alone in the car, not for anything.

Quootiepie · 14/01/2007 07:02

NO no no no no no no no no no. Never ever is it OK. Ever. Ever ever. You never know what might happen, and I know there are bigger risks out there but some aren't just worth taking. Ever. Ever ever. Not even paying for petrol.

asleep · 14/01/2007 07:06

to me it is never ok.

i remember seeing 2 small children screaming in a car on their own in an asda carpark with an asda employee waiting outside the car for the mum or dad to come back. it really upset me and i would never do it myself.

Fillyjonk · 14/01/2007 07:31

dunno, you know your kids, you know your town.

me, I'd much rather leave them in the car when paying for petrol than risk them getting hit by some mad half-cut 16 year old revving off the forecourt to avoid paying. To me, walking across a petrol forecourt with 2 little kids is pretty dangerous. No way.

I probably wouldn't leave them to buy milk. The thing about the petrol forecourt is that you can always seen the car. But hey, you can buy milk in petrol stations!

Jelley · 14/01/2007 07:32

I wouldn't leave a baby/toddler, if I couldn't see them from inside the shop, but there is no way I'm getting 3 children out of the car and trailing them across the forecourt to pay for petrol. (I leave the baby, too then).

I have left the 6 & 7 yr old when going in for one or two things if they are awake and agree. I wouldn't leave a sleeping child.

ballbaby · 14/01/2007 07:43

I leave my baby and toddler if happy if I'm only going to be a couple of minutes (not in summer). It's so stressful getting them out toddler could be running off while i'm carrying (very heavy) baby then it's a struggle to carry basket/get purse out of bag etc. I'm only talking local shops where you can virtually park outside the door and not in summer. If you get them out of the car it makes a quick nip to the shops a half hour job. Often much easier to walk and take pram.

Cloudhopper · 14/01/2007 07:47

No - except petrol where they are in view at all times.

Having said that I have left dd2 in a car while dropping off dd1 at nursery. So it is one rule for me.....

eidsvold · 14/01/2007 07:47

yes if popping in for what i need and can park right outside store - leave 4yo and 2yo. ALso do it at petrol forecourt if it is not a pay at the pump. WIth dd2 who has sn trying to run away and dd2 who likes to wander and look - easier to run in and get milk/bread at local shop than to get them out and so on.

eidsvold · 14/01/2007 07:48

oops dd1 having sn.

But if I only have dd2 with me then she comes with me.

WriggleJiggle · 14/01/2007 07:57

At petrol station dd stays in car, anywhere else and she comes in.

NewMoonOnMonday · 14/01/2007 08:18

There are no official rules as far as I know. You just make a decision using your common sense and stay within your comfort zone.

Personally I would leave DS in the car if I could still see him and knew I wouldn't be gone for more than a few minutes.

Ladymuck · 14/01/2007 08:32

Re forecourts, the petrol rtailers won't officially advise on this in the UK in case they become liable, but in other countries they will advise you to leave children in the car whilst you pay. Forecourts and car parks are the 2 places where you are most likely to have an accident in your car, but they tend to be low impact (eg scraping another car). The exception is where there are toddlers who aren't seen in mirrors - so instead of scrpaing a car you end up injuring a toddler. Toddlers are more likely to get hurt in forecourts or carparks than anyone else.

I think that you have to go with your own instinct here. There is a big difference between leaving your child in a car outside a faceless Tesco where you could get caught in a lrage queue, versus leaving then outside a village shop where a) you can see them and b) the shop staff know they are yours etc.

There isn't a rule other than you are responsible for them wherever they are.

DumbledoresGirl · 14/01/2007 08:45

Yes, I do. I cant remember when I started doing it (ie how old they were) but certainly now that the oldest is 10 I have absolutely no worries leaving them in the car. I wouldn't do an entire supermarket shop with them in the car, but I would nip into a supermarket for say a quick basketful of goods.

As for leaving them in the car when paying for petrol - absolutely yes every single time, even as babies. I don't think my children (aged 10, 9, 6 and 3) have ever in their lives been inside a petrol station shop. In fact, I remember one of them once asking me what it was like inside as though I was depriving them of some sort of treat!

Not even my dh, who disapproves of me leaving them in the car while I go into a shop, has ever taken them in whie paying for petrol. I seriously can't imagine what environments you live in that you fear for your children whilst you are paying for petrol

geekgrrl · 14/01/2007 08:54

with DG here - I also leave my 3 (7, 5 & 3) in the car if I nip into a shop quickly (although this happens very rarely, generally shop during school hours), and I don't think they've ever been inside a petrol station - well, maybe dd1 as a baby - precious firstborn syndrome and all that.

Glassofwine · 14/01/2007 08:55

Perfectly acceptable for a very short time when the car is in view ie. petrol or parked outside local shop.

Not acceptable to do a whole supermarket shop - don't think anyone would.

School drop off? - at my dd's previous school a lot of parents left young children in the car while they took the older one into school, car out of sight, parent gone for five minutes. I never did and people would often say that I was mad, it would be easier to leave the two little ones in the car, but it wasn't something I was prepared to risk.

Dior · 14/01/2007 08:59

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ludaloo · 14/01/2007 09:01

I leave mine in the car at petrol stations...if I can see there is a big cue, I take dd2 with me as she screams the place down if I'm gone for longer than a quick in and out payment.
Shops, supermarkets etc, they all come with me (usually just dd2 as the others have school and nursery)

TBH I try and leave them at home with Dh...or I take them to his work and he has them while I do a supermarket shop (Its hard work shopping with all 3 of them)

McDreamy · 14/01/2007 09:01

Petrol station yes -it's much safer than carrying 2 children across a forecourt. Anywhere else no.

ScoobyDooooo · 14/01/2007 09:06

I leave mine in the car in the petrol station & when getting petrol i always make sure i park in view & near to the door as possible anywhere else no i don't i just could not risk it..

NannyL · 14/01/2007 10:17

Would NEVER EVER leave a child in a car in a supermarket or large car park etc

howver in our tiny little village there is a Co Op where you can ppark directly outside.. there is also glass and see the car car at all times (from the 4 tiny eisles) so yes i do park ourtside there... leaving happy children in the car and nip in, often for lesss than a minute (you almost never ahve to que at this coop)

there is also cash point just inside the door that again i use... when standing at the cash point i am less than 3 meters from the car! (if measured it may find only about 2 meters actually!)

As for paying for petrol... normally sue fast card... but id machine is off (as they sometimes our) our petrol station does NOT allow children on forcourt so they have to be left in car! Would never get a child out in a petrol station... they are much safer in the car IMO

DumbledoresGirl · 14/01/2007 10:31

I wouldn't even consider I was leaving my children if I was at a cash point 3 metres away! I mean, do you think you are leaving your children if you go out of the room they are in or they are in the garden and you go indoors?

I don't know whether to be astonsihed at how protective others are, or ashamed of my own carelessness. I am just glad that people like geekgrrl agree with me so I know I am not alone.

That said, I do have very trustowrthy children, I feel. All but my youngest that is. I know they would not get out of the car and put themselves at risk of being knocked down like Dior did as a child. My youngest might I suppose but he is always strapped into his seat and not able to undo the straps.

3andnomore · 14/01/2007 10:37

Well, when only paying for petrol then I will leave any of my Kids in....!
As for quick supermarket shops....if my es (10) is in the car as well as the lil ones (2 and 4) and I know it's just a few bits, I will leave both or one opf the lil ones with es in the car....but if es isn't with us, I will take the lil ones in with me, no matter how quick the shopping would be done.
INteresting about the official advice and the thinking behind it, about leaving Kids in the car when paying for petrol, makes lots of sense, though

Jimjams2 · 14/01/2007 10:39

Paying for petrol running around a small shop/paying for petrol-yes- far safer than trying to get a severely autistic 7 year old, 5 year old and 2 year old into a shop- which actually isn't possible alone anyway. For a supermarket shop, no wouldn;t do it- gone for too long.

Jimjams2 · 14/01/2007 10:41

NannyL- I remember being in a local petrol station and the woman behind the counter was going mad about a father bringing his 3 year old in- he had him out of the car stoood next to it whilst he fiilled it with petrol- she saiid he was at the right height for geting petrol in his eyes.

NurseyJo · 14/01/2007 10:41

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