Mornington Crescent?!

[Eggsbutnobacon]

Will somebody please please explain to me what this is all about?

For those who know their G and S - and which Crescenter does not? - Sloane Square can only lead to South Kensington

And after two days exploring the museums, on to Gloucester Road

And from there - forgive me for being so obvious, but this heat is enervating - a lateral slip to

Russell Square

Come off it, Maud, Appendix xi to Rule 176(ix) is still suspended except on a Friday - although I understand that you may have overlooked it in the heat.

Before I make the obvious move I should mention that the Clue team played their imitation of the Game of Games yesterday in Glasgow. Piss-poor of course, but with seven years of intensive practice Jeremy Hardy might qualify as an applicant for Junior Adept status. As for the rest of them . . . oh dear.

Eyemouth.

Jeremy Hardy has had years of opportunities to learn the finer points of the Game, and so it is disappointing to know yay he has so much to learn. If he stopped doing all this comedy stuff and knuckled down, maybe he'd get to Junior Adept status before he is of pensionable age.

As he so delights in performing, perhaps we should visit his natural home for this strange thing called comedy and go to Edinburgh Haymarket

Now that, Saints, is below the belt and you know why.

If it was meant as a knock-out blow, think again. It's a long way to Tipperary but that's where we are headed.

One of my very many claims to fame is that Jeremy Hardy once pushed the button for me at a Pelican crossing. Now that you are reeling from that revelation, I will further amaze you with an elongated Macmillan to

Kensal Rise

I hope you all won't mind me joining at this late stage, but there's a Möbius exception staring you all in the face (per the 1957 Amendments) and it'd be remiss of me not to play it.
Bank

GirlInTheDirtyShirt You are of course welcome but the Exception is not (by ancient usage dating back as far as 2014) available until Parliament has been in recess for three weeks.

Accordingly and unavoidably and emitting a noise like the agonised feline coitus interruptus familiar to all who have had enough of the noise and thrown a bucket of water at two cats making merry in the middle of the night:

Bingley

Welcome, GirlInTheDirtyShirt. You're obviously a nifty and intuitive player. What took you so long to find us? And, actually, didn't we meet in Tbilisi in '88? It was you who sent the trade attache into nidd, wasn't it?

Funny you should mention Parliament, Andrew. A friend the other day was telling me of a riotous game of MC which was started on the back benches during a particularly long filibuster in 1932 and, with only brief interruptions for war and national emergencies, continues to this day. Of course, the cabinet and shadow cabinet reshuffles have caused a bit of disruption but, even so, our elected representatives continue the historic and noble game. So, with that in mind,

Tring

Ha!

Guildford

I think that before staff shortages/sickness delay our journey, we should go back to the capital and stop off at Richmond for a brisk walk in the park. Rule 6 prevents me numbering the walk.

Guilty as charged, Maud, although I believe the first time our paths crossed was at the soirée in Vienna - just before that unfortunate incident with the Colonel. But of course, that's not a topic for polite conversation. Andrewofgg, I feel you're playing a little hard and fast with the rules, given it's post-Solstice, but I'll let you have your fun. We don't want a repeat of Dusseldorf 1979. Did you know the Duke still refuses to speak to me?
Anyway, ForalltheSaints has rather played me into a corner, so I'll have to invoke the Whipsnade Zoo amendment and play Liverpool Street.

I think it's about time it was part of the Olympics. It's not a game. It's a sport. Clearly.

You are quite right, DrSeth. Have you signed the petition to the IOC? We've been gathering signatures since 1911 so are hopeful of success. Anyway

Bayswater

It is an Olympic sport but it's kept quiet. You only know if you need to know. The final takes place during the Marathon. I treasure my silver medal.

Girl I have spoken to the Duke and warned him that if he does not stop being childish about Dusseldorf '79 I will publish the pictures from Beijing '80 and that will be the last time he can show his face (or any other part of his abundant anatomy) in the Guards Polo Club.

Maud it wasn't 1932 - that's when the Speaker heard about it and joined in by playing a Transverse Todger to Tottenham before the Chief Whip objected. It was started by Lady Astor on the day she took her seat. My Lord, but she played dirty. Poor Clem Attlee never quite got over the shock of seeing what she did to Lloyd George when he played Gidea Park and blocked her way to Ongar.

Holyhead.

The formerly secret Olympic game has been rather sullied by allegations of doping of late. I for one would like to see more stringent testing in place before the whole thing is brought entirely into disrepute. They say the majority of players are now using some form of performance-enhancing drugs.
Speaking of disrepute, I wasn't aware anyone was taking photographs at Beijing. Could you destroy the ones involving the feather boa?
I'll play it safe, as is my wont, with Balham

Safe? Balham? I think you are forgetting the incident at the Balham heats in 2007 when the Ambassador to Cairo tussled with the Commandant General of the Royal Marines and the three-times Oscar winner over who could play Ealing Common on a damp Wednesday. Shots were fired and the injunction is still in force. So, naturally

Manchester Piccadilly

Virgin trains again are to my rescue so i avoid the downpour in Manchester- the cold I caught there in the 'madferit' era of the early 80s took weeks to shake off. This meant that I could not take part in the Notting Hill heats of 1982 where the absence of many key players off in the south Atlantic I thought could mean an easy (it) win.

Kilburn Park is my arrival after a couple of changes of train.

Indeed. We had to despatch a task force to teach those Argentinians the finer points of MC. Things might have been different if General Galtieri hadn't tried to play Raynes Park without first sending the Metropolitan Line into stebbings. No wonder Mrs Thatcher and the Chief of the Defence Staff saw red!

But, as it's Thursday evening and Parliament is about to go into recess,

Ongar

Ongar- very 1980s- I was not expecting the closed lines rule to be played on a Thursday evening. I invoke the rail replacement bus rule to get out of that small dilemma. As for the Argentinians trying to play Raynes Park, well no wonder it caused a conflict.

The loop has not featured in this game of MC so far, so I think it is time to bring it into play, and so it is to the orange coloured part of our metropolis that i dare to venture. Chigwell

The Olympic event was secret only in the sense that the existence of GCHQ was officially still secret when it was in the index to Whitaker's Almanack.

There are very good reasons why the loop has not figured which I will not repeat during the lifetime of the Archdeacon's BIL - decency and all that.

I have the destroyed the feather boa photos but not the ones with the QC and the mug of cocoa. - and they are carefully hidden away as you would expect.

Ongar being now closed opens up all the other wonderful closed lines of better days so off we go to Bourne End.

I see your Bourne End and raise you a Grange Hill

Someone is perilously close to being in Spoon but it sure ain't me

Spoon in July? Have you ever even read Article 12 of Protocol XIII to Rule 281(g), Still?

Time for something just a bit subtle, in fact as subtle as a pick-axe:

Keighley

HA!

Read it? Who do you think INVENTED it?