Mornington Crescent?!

[Eggsbutnobacon]

Will somebody please please explain to me what this is all about?

Rivendell is only reachable by bus since the day of Beeching the Balrog but still, it's a nice move.

Cranford

Ha! Barchester

And then a teeny weeny little shunt to Lilliput.

All this lotus-eating is all very well, but RL calls us and we must heed the stern summons - this is after all MC.

We will therefore pass back Through the Looking-Glass to Bournemouth which is let's face it, my dears hardly a place to be taken seriously.

The good old Flying Scotsman has been down to the Dorset coast and so I catch him back to Waterloo

Unfortunately once there you got on the wrong train and are now at Reading.

Well it has been most peculiar day's play, and I for one, am ready for a nightcap and a snooze. Thus, we board the sleeper to Inverness ready to attempt to inch, blag and snurgle our way to MC on the morrow.

Oooh - snurgling on a train!

The Moon is past the full and the Annual Conference of the National Union of Widget Boilers has been adjourned by reason of force majeure to Ballachulish.

And thence on the ferry to

Stranraer

I'm currently hanging around in the Borders for reasons I'd rather not discuss on the thread So

Berwick on Tweed

and from Berwick, we head back to London to resume battle, stopping first for an egg and cress sandwich and a snifter at York

Nonsense, dementedma the real battle is fought outside London and when the winner is ready kerpow and it's done.

It's far too early for that. In honour of the performance of Richard III last week on the goggle box we are called to Ludlow.

I play the old Great Central rule and end up at Marylebone- too late for the cricket for today sadly, and in any case I failed to get my name down for membership when an infant, so MCC membership will not become me. I know it is rare for a male MC player not to be an MCC member, but I shall have to soldier on without the yellow and orange tie.

I gave up my membership of the MCC (to which I had been elected before I was even conceived) over that scandalous business when two of the Committee - one of whom was also a member of the Grand MC Council and the other an experienced amateur Crescenter - sneaked onto an early flight of the Shuttle and announced that they were renaming it the Space Ship Venus. I would not have minded but they were acting in complete disregard of the Twelfth Protocol to Rule ccxxvii - even as amended in Belgrade in '73 and I set no store by that occasion.

So we will not be staying long at . . . where Saints said. With one bound he was free and at Hildenborough.

We seem to have stayed a while at Hildenborough. Too long I think. I cannot imagine anyone will have bought us a G+T this evening whilst we wait in the station buffet.

So disgusted am I by this lack of hospitality (none of Maud's friends could live here, they would have rolled out the red carpet even after the faux pas of 1973) that I shall move to Tunbridge Wells

My friends are, indeed, proficient with the drinks trolley and cocktail shaker. Many are the times they have enlivened the 07.32 from Esher with their reenactment of the Tom Cruise cocktail-making scene. I, though, prefer the quiet life, and so I shall be taking the slow train to

Rams gate

Ah yes - 'High Speed 1' as they wittily call it. On which theme:

Birmingham New St

Back to London and Old Street.

A dismal and dingy station is Old Street. I think some open air is called for and the Northern Heights extension rule enables this. So off to Cfrouch End I go.

well you know I meant Crouch End

And by analogy to Sittingbourne.

Does anybody know why the Major-General and his latest conquest were rolling blind drunk down the Cornmarket in Oxford last night? Or why he was carrying a steering wheel and she a copy of War and Peace in Portuguese?

oh Andrew, if you don't already know, of course we can't tell you. I'll admit to being surprised that your name didn;t feature on last night's guest list, but the MC community is quite small, and there are those who contend that your play at last year's pre-Rio Olympic training was simply Not Cricket. The Major-General feels you broke some unwritten rules that were practically carved in stone - and you know how spirited he gets when spritis have been consumed!

Be that as it may

Kings Cross St Pancras

Really? Well, then, if you insist

Dagenham Heathway

I bumped into the M-G when we both went to offer the Archdeacon our moral support while the District Nurse changed her dressing. All is explained and he knows why I played that move and I know who has been slandering me to him.

I also know which book the lady concerned intended to pick up from his shelves and he accepted my advice to lock it away - the residents of his street are just not ready for it. Not with the illustration on page 27, anyway.

After all, he lives in Cheltenham and noblesse oblige.

Ah, the mysterious first, and only,edition of "MC, Nymphs and Nuances in Naked Play". I have seen the publication in question and consider it a collector's piece, much to be coveted.
The photo of the masked lady draped across the Admiral is of particular interest. I know of only one person with a birthmark shaped like a mermaid fornicating with a seahorse, but my lips are sealed!
elephant and castle