what is privacy in a long term relationship.

[Tortington]

reading the other eastenderesq thread regarding a woman looking at her partners phone messages.

i wondered.

in the other thread it wasn't the intention to go to the inbox rather a slip of the thumb or something.

dh never looks at my box [blush i mean inbox becuase he's absolutley certain that i wouldnt.

i dont look at his beucase of pretty much the same.

but if one day i wanted to - just for the hell of it. he wouldnt go " on no thats a mans private texting phone thing - like a diary tiz private"

he would throw it to me and say " knock yourself out you saddo "

i have nothing to hide and so everything is open in this house - including the toilet door.
privacy doesnt exist.

therefore if your anal about keeping your phone messages private - does this mean that there are communication issues and trust issues between partners

ergo
is privacy in a longterm relationship a bad sign?

I couldn't imagine anything being private. If I wanted to pick up DHs phone and read it out of sheer noseyness (im very nosey ) I will, and he will be fine. Ditto for him. He gets jokes from friends by text, and I go read them aswell... We check eachothers email, and whoever picks up the mail usually opens it all. I wouldn't and couldn't have it any other way.

I'm with you really on this one custy. Dh works away a fair bit and I do tend to open his mail otherwise things might get missed. And we share an inbox and regularly swap mobile phones. I guess it's like joint accounts. You either can't see how a marriage would work with one, or can't see how it would work without one.

the toilet door is firmly closed in the iota household,

however I do sometimes check dh's mail for him when he's away, and sometimes I ask him to check my email if he's on the pc and I can be ar$ed to get up and look for myself

DH can't cope in the real world of bills and mortgages. If he lived on his own I think he'd be one of those who never pays a bill until it's red. So I open most of his post unless it's obviously a personal letter - so I don't suppose he'd mind if I did look at his messages.

Privacy is one thing. A bit of emotional and physical space sometimes is essential though.

We're the same I have to say (as QP in case my slow typing means loads of X posts), but I have plenty of friends who aren't that open and I don't think it means anything as such, I think it's more habit than anything else. I'd have thought it would only be something to worry about if it was causing problems in itself (eg a friend of mine who has no idea what her DP earns because he says they're his business - it really p's her off) or if it was a new development (something to hide maybe)

I couldn't live like that myself tbh, but each to their own I suppose.

I don't go to the loo in front of my dp, i don't see the need though i have done i don't see the need to do it all the time, i like to go alone - no kids or dp's

we share everything else though i probably wouldn't like him reading everything i post on here - it does feel private even though i know its a public forum i just wouldnt like to think he was checking up on me though i dont have anything to hide and its mundane stuff he wouldn't be interested in.

meant to say once we had a row about how much time i spend on here and he checked the history and iwent mad - as he was doing it to prove a point - like i can check up on you if i want, i told him if he does that again i will not be happy.......don't know exactly what i will do..............

Toilet door definitely closed! I do not want to watch my dh having a crap, that for sure! he likes to sit in there for about half an hour in the morning, and wont even answer any shouted questions from me or the dd's!

thats ok, because that is how I like it too (not that I sit in there for half an hour - but you know what I mean!)

DP and i have separate emails,bank accounts and evencompters now!!!
We could open each others post but we don't although we will almost always read whatever it was, it just doesn't feel right to open it.

Toilet door pushed closed but doesn't lock anyway, i like to bathe in privacy but he will ALWAYS find a reason to open the door.

bank accounts coz we are shite with money, he pays rent and some bills, i pay other bills and internet from mine.

Emails, well a number of reasons really. firstly that DP does alot of stuff thru email and transfering files, and also, i like my 'own space' where i can say whatever i like about him lol!
Having said that, i think he knows my MN name so may check up on me - i dunno!

We only close the door for a poo but we're not bothered about weeing.
All my emails come into the main inbox so he can read them if he wants but I've (very kindly, off my own bat) set up most of his to go straight into his own folder. I could read them if I wanted but I do it as a gesture of what a nice wife I am and to keep the inbox clear of his nonsense.