MN Jury: innocent of accusation or guilty as charged?

[OrmIrian]

I?ve just told DS#1 that he can?t do a project with his best mate at school. For the following reasons:

1. This is not supposed to be a joint project but they are allowed to do research together. DS, and I suspect his mate, is using this as a reason to not take real responsibility for the piece of work.
2. It gives DS an excuse not to do any work on it when his mate isn?t with him.
3. Said mate lives on other side of town and his mother never invites DS there (sorry ? once in the 2 years they have been best mates) and on the many occassions we?ve had mate here Mum doesn?t drop off or pick up. I am buggered if I?m doing even more in the way of ferrying around and feeding of aforementioned child.
4. I think DS would actually enjoy this project for it?s own sake and not just as a reason to have his mate here to play PS2 games!

So tell me, have I really ruined his life? He thinks so.

LOL! I've had this before when DS1 has been given a "joint" project to do. Only he got squeezed out of the project because his mate wanted to do it with his dad!

On another project, DS1 kept saying he couldn't do it because he had to be with his mate, etc.

I don't think you've ruined his life, but I bet it feels that way to him, as it always does when they discover they can't fool their mums .

Ha! But did you forbid him though freckle ....I felt like a cruel father in a Victorian melodrama stopping his son from being with his sweetheart

He sounds annoyed cos he couldn't get one over on you - sounds like he underestimated you

Ooh I hope I'm that clever when mine are old enough! My hero is the mum in Malcolm in the Middle.

Just be aware, my mum didn't have my friends over as a child. It wasn't that I didn't like them very much, it was that my mum was very unsocial! Please don't make it so the child misses out just because the mum isn't inviting.

No, I didn't forbid him. I arranged with mate's mum to get mate here to do project, so that at least it was out of the way. However, this was a joint project rather than one where they had merely been told they could do the research together.

Ha ha! Me too, Buckets. And Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives.

flossam - I am Mrs sociable I can assure you when it comes to my kids . I have a school friend back for tea for each child at least once a fortnight...not to mention the free-range kids who live in the same street as us. I don't mind that DS's friend doesn't invite him back and I don't mind doing all the running around...but I'm simply not prepared to do anymore than I already do.