Is anyone really happy?

[lemonysnickett]

I ask this question because recently have been very surprised by things people have said....went to xmas party with colleagues, one of them brought hubby along..married for 2 years. Seemed happy enough to me, he was a bit quiet but thought it was because he didn't know anyone. In the past she has always spken about him fondly..seemd very content..said they had recently bought a house which they were decorating..etcetc..then, the other day she told me she is very unhappy and wants to leave him. she is bored and frustrated..they have different interests, he doesn't seem to want to socialise much..doesn't make her feel special...she seems certain she wants to leave him.
I was very shocked...I used to look at her sometimes envy the fact that she seemed so content and happy....not in a jealous way ...more in and admiring way.
I thought about how a lot of what she had said was not true. She had painted a picture that wasn't reality.
another situation...friend of mine always talks about her boyfriend in a very positive way..he cooks for her..seems to dote on her really...recenty she has said some things that make me wonder if this is all true or she has tried to make it seem happier than it is.
someone else I know ...again always acted very happy with her marriage..cut a long story short..they divorced.
I have to admit...sometimes i go into work acting hunky dory ..when really i feel miserable cos of an argumetn or something.
Is anyone really happy and content and fulfilled with their lives?
Are all men completely selfish?
The friend i mentioned at the beginning of this message is a lovely, beautiful, intelligent girl....her husband doesn't seem to appreciate her ...he has blown it!
Is anyone really happy?

I think happiness is a deep down feeling and can't be measured by 'things'.Developing a more relaxed and spiritual approach to each day has really helped me and when you are truly happy deep down you just know and feel it.It does take work though and learning to live in the day and appreciate what you have really help

I'm happy (usually) and whilst I agree that happiness comes from within, external factors can have a huge impact on your state of mind - if you have money worries for example, it can cause you so much stress that you find it hard to enjoy other aspects of your life or even to afford things to make your life better.

Of course, lots of people are happy even if they have money worries

Yes but the external things have a lot of impact on your internal state of happiness imo.

They impact on your day to day satisfaction but true happiness can't be tainted by things like money ime.I have had real financial problems and other times when we have been quite comfortable and although my life is easier with more money etc and when my health is good I am not any less happy without

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is intersting

I suffer with depression and am a very anxious person so that can affect how I feel but I am generally happy with my life.
I know I am very lucky.
I love my husband and I think that goes a hell of a long way.
My main aim this year is to see things from a positive and not regret things. I regret a lot and as dh says it's pointless.
The one thing that affects my happiness the most is my dd who has sn. When she is happy and everything is going well I know I am too. It's amazing how when she is going through a bad phase so do I.
All in all I am grateful for everything I have in life and that we are all healthy and basically have everything we need

i find i'm quite happy most days, but some days the general competetive nature of the world (or maybe juse where i live) really gets me down.

my town used to be full of people who'd say hello in the morning, these are now getting few and far between, people just seem more interested in house prices and schools and couldn't really give a stuff about anyone else. i find that makes me depressed but then again maybe i'm just stoopid.

I think there is a lot of truth in the sentence 'only you can can make yourself happy'.

There is a tendency in todays world to focus on the negative, as someone mentioned earlier, there might be one thing in your life which isn't good right now and it inhibits you being happy in other areas.

For example, I am sitting in a state of unhapiness waiting for my baby to arrive really.

What I should be doing is focusing on the fact that I already have a lovely DH, DS and enjoying this time we have together without the restraints of work/new babydom as we are both off work.

But - what am I doing, I am sitting on here moaning about my lot. It's self explanatory really.

I wish I knew the trick to focusing on the positive rather than the negative.