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Original poster

Are you a 'natural' with children?

35 replies

TheArmadillo · 05/01/2007 15:58

I'm not. Its not that I hate other people's children, there are several that I quite like, but I'm not 'at ease' with kids in general.

My ds is only 2 at the moment and so haven't really had to do playdates or parties or anything, but I'm gonna have to do something in the future and it terrifies me.

I don't know how to look after children, how to speak to them etc. Its like an alien race to me. I don't get worked up or angry with them, but I just don't know what to do with them.

I'm fine with my ds cos he's mine (though I have to admit my family and friends were really worried with how I would cope). But I find it difficult with other people's, especially if I don't know the kid well.

Is it just me? What do you do?

OP posts:
madmarchhare · 05/01/2007 16:01

All my friends say I am and all children seem to like me but what I do find difficult is 'the buck stops with you ' kind of responsibility that you get with your own. Other peoples kids are easy. IMO .

mellowma · 05/01/2007 16:01

Message withdrawn

beckybrastraps · 05/01/2007 16:02

God no. I loathe being around large numbers of small children. I don't know what to do with them. I hate being parent helper at pre school - I hide in the kitchen making the snacks.

I wasn't even that keen on year 7s when I was teaching TBH. Especially not when they first started, and kept tugging at my arm to get my attantion. Ugh.

I do enjoy teenagers though. They are great.

Original poster
TheArmadillo · 05/01/2007 16:02

See I find it the otehr way round. Mine is easy - I'm his mum so I decide. Also I know him.

Other peoples - well I'm lost.

OP posts:
noddyholder · 05/01/2007 16:02

Love my own ds(so much) and selected children of friends but otherwise no, they generally get on my nerves and are hard work

Original poster
TheArmadillo · 05/01/2007 16:03

nice ot see I'm not the only one.

Always thought it would change having a kid - and it has made me see that kids are not as annoying as I thought before, but still don't know what to do with them.

OP posts:
madmarchhare · 05/01/2007 16:03

Sorry, completely missed the last bit of your post . I dont know what you can do about it really, I think its something you can or cant do.

themoon66 · 05/01/2007 16:07

My own DD was the first baby I ever held

Other people's kids are a nightmare... they seem so unpredictable.... like small dogs in a way I suppose.

Original poster
TheArmadillo · 05/01/2007 16:07

that's alright - just seeing I'm not the only one helps. I'm just getting worked up cos of the birthday party thread and having visions of my future surrounded by hoardes of other people's children

OP posts:
noddyholder · 05/01/2007 16:08

If I have a connection with the parent it is ok eg old long standing friends etc but just any old child and I don't enjoy it I tend to avoid having to be with children in that way unless lots of other kids and parents and i can make myself busy doing other stuff like food or clearing up in other words I busy myself til they go!I don't think it is something you can learn

noddyholder · 05/01/2007 16:09

Also I relied heavily on dp in teh birthday party situation

Original poster
TheArmadillo · 05/01/2007 16:09

ds was the second baby I held - my friend had a baby a few weeks before and made me hold her when I was heavily pregnant.

OP posts:
themoon66 · 05/01/2007 16:09

I got round the birthday party nightmare by holding them in leisure centres and making sure they would provide plenty of staff to help me.

Original poster
TheArmadillo · 05/01/2007 16:09

yes dp is a lot better than me. Running to the kitchen sounds good.

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 05/01/2007 16:37

I have always been good with kids, but alot of that has to do with being from a big family with lots of kids around all the time. I think the real trick with toddlers is to lose your inhibitions and be silly. Toddlers aren't that picky they just want to get adult attention especially if its playtime. Older kids can be more difficult, just don't try to be cool.

juicychops · 05/01/2007 17:08

im not a child person at all. unless its a good friend's child or a family member then im crap and they frustrate me and i dont enjoy it at all

brandy7 · 05/01/2007 17:12

i like other peoples kids and have been told im a natural with them, dont know if thats a good or bad thing really as at family get togethers i seem to be chief child amuser

foxinsocks · 05/01/2007 17:13

no I'm dreadful with kids. Used to have to run a team at work so it's not like I can't give orders or be a leader but I am USELESS with a group of children.

Volunteered to help the nursery class at school do a sponsored bounce (on a bouncy castle). All I had to do was help get them in a line and help them on the bouncy castle in twos. After about 5 minutes, it was total chaos and the nursery nurse had to come and rescue me .

I think it's something some people are good at and I'm definitely not one of them.

ProfYaffle · 05/01/2007 17:19

Absolutely not! Can't bear the little oiks. I'm fine with my dd but other kids - not a hope. My dd is also 2 and I'm also dreading the playdate thing.

Dh is the complete opposite, we go to soft play, I sit and read the Observer while he runs around with dd and invariably emerges with an extra child or two. The other week he had a girl of about 8 literally clinging to his leg screeching 'come back! come back!'.

Kittypickle · 05/01/2007 17:20

No I am utterly rubbish, however I am learning to blag it a bit after 8 years of practice and they don't notice so much.

Boobooroastingonanopenfire · 05/01/2007 17:22

TheArmadillo: I don't have kids yet (one on the way), but have been a teacher for years and have run loads of kid's parties.

Have lots of adults there to help (pref ones you feel really comfortable around), and plan double the activities you think you'll need. Doesn't need to be complicated: pass the parcel, grandmother's footsteps, musical statues etc.

Also echo what someone else said about not trying to be cool. I think some adults get wound up thinking that other people's kids will judge them by adult standards, whereas IME if you play like a loon and give them cake they think you're fantastic!

ditzyangeluk · 05/01/2007 17:33

Yes, I am BRILLIANT with them, even if I do say so myself!! Seriously, I have a natural affinity with them & I absolutey adore them.
I am a totally different person when dealing with children than I am with adults & other people (but I AM a mature 40 year old so it isn't that I have the same mentality!)
There's a saying about "You are getting old when you walk around a puddle instead of through it" .. well, I actually go puddling!! Forgot my wellies on holiday last year with my nephew so we got some kids together, I black bagged my legs & feet & away we went! FANTASTIC!!

oxocube · 05/01/2007 17:51

Think I'm not bad - always seem to have hoards of the buggers round my house so its just as well really. I have 3 of my own, all have zillions of friends and we happen to live about 300 mtrs from school so we often end up with a house full!

oxocube · 05/01/2007 18:07

Armadillo, when my kids first started to do playdates, I hated it. I felt bad saying no to anything, worried about whether these little kids would like me (ffs!!), what they would say about the playdate to their mums etc etc. All I can say is you do get more relaxed with the whole deal.

twoisenoughmum · 05/01/2007 18:08

Armadillo - no, I am not a natural with children. I have a 5 nearly 6 year old girl who is very popular at school. She is forever being asked back to tea at other people's houses and so, of course, I feel the need to reciprocate. I never enjoy it. Some of her friends (esp. the fussy with food ones) really really get on my nerves! And the same will all start soon with DS who starts nursery next week. Sigh ...

A good friend of mine has just decided to become a childminder. She always has loads of kids in the house anyway. But, though I love her to bits, I just cannot fathom this aspect of her personality. I would rather clean the toilets at Waterloo Station than be a childminder ... and this is no disrespect to childminders (I adore mine) or anyone elses children.

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