Is there a book around being a "good enough mum" ??

[melsy]

I need help for my self loathing days .

There's a lovely book called something like "What Mothers Do (especially when it looks like nothing)." It made me feel a whole lot better about myself, especially on bad days when I had PND. I still read it now.

oh melsy....i am sure you are more than 'good enough' mum, the fact you clearly care so much about how well you want to parent shows it....

don;t really read parenting books, but wanted to say that i am sure you are doing a great job

so easy to beat yourself up about it..rather than applaud the good work you are no doubt doing with your children x

Libby Purves - how not to be a perfect mother?

'if he's not cold, hungry or especially dirty you're probably doing ok'

Another recommendation for How Not to be a Perfect Mother .

just havig an off day i hope, typing one hand feeding. i feel ive done badly last few weeks. See thread on dd1 in behaviour.

ive done nothing this morning.

oops bit of an extreme comment the last one , just feel like ive done nothing , as toys all over , mess , forgot to sterilise bottles , no lunch sorted , no one coming round for dd1 to play, promised to make cake but soo tired.

I agree with Piglit's recommendation. "What Mothers Do" is not one of those jokey "aren't they a nightmare" type books but one that really values what we do as mothers. It isn't about the house being clean but all sorts of more important other stuff. I can't recommend it highly enough.

They both sound good. need a positive book , not one were i feel worse like this damaging childrens self esteem

Oh blimey, if that article were true I would be a shell of a human being! I agree with the Libby Purves quote above. Also my mother's comment to treat kids like pot plants - water & feed occasionally, but fussing over them all the time does no good. She said her only goal as a mother was to make sure that I ate with my mouth closed by the age of 5

Oh Melsy, don't torment yourself with that sort of stuff. Praising your child damages their self esteem? What?!! I praise ds all the time. As I understand it, it is called "positive parenting". Please be kinder to yourself. The fact that you are on here, caring about what you are doing in the first place makes you a good parent!

Oh Melsy, you soooo need to read 'What Mothers Do'!
There is a lovely bit on how mothers feel rubbish for taking so long to get round the supermarket with children but actually the reason is that they are doing lots of other (undervalued) work at the same time, nurturing their children, teaching them about the world, socialising them etc.

Agree with the other recommendation too - Libby Purves was the only book when I was pregnant that made me feel better about what was in store.

thank u all girls , I think the books sound like the tonic and recognition I need for myself. Got a lot of outside family stuff going on and feel alone a lot of days , even being out with friends.

oh and books saved on wish list on amazon.

OOh....I'm a good enough mum ...usually. Please don't feel bad about not being perfect. To err is human, to be less than a perfect parent is even more so...and besides it teaches your children a lot more about real life. Well that's what I tell myself anyway...