getting cold feet

[noddyholder]

Dp and I had decided that we would sell up our house this year and this money would enable us to buy a cheaper house in a less desirable(still nice)area and have no mortgage and dp and I could start a business and he could also expand his drum teaching which he loves.I know that financially etc this is the right thing to do and dp has given up so much for me when i have been ill etc and is so excited at the thought of building his own studio and doing more music.He has worked in mundane jobs for years to look after us and deserves this tbh.I have started to feel a bit like I like my house atm and although I have told him I can go anywhere the snobby side is getting the better of me atm which is very unlike me.All the agents coming round and saying 'beautiful home' and desirable location is getting to me but I am scared to tell him as he has worked hard for this and is so looking forward to it.I need a good kick up the bum I think

I do sympathise - I have been in a similar position, in fact last year we had our house for sale twice and I backed out twice! Have you tried talking to your dh about all the options ie what if you didn't move? What about talking about how it would affect the kids - they'd need to move schools?

We downsized a while ago and although we put a positive spin on it, it was hard getting used to a lot less space etc. However there have been many advantages and I'd make a lot of sacrifices for my dh to be happy in his work.

Have you thought of writing a list of advantages and disadvantages, not one to show anyone, but an honest one about how you feel. It might flag up the obvious answer

Same schools etc.My ds would moan he is 12 and moans avbout everything but he would benefit as our quality of life and finances would be better.We could buy a nice house but not in this area but only a few roads away.Reading some of the other threads I feel ridiculous and am surprised at myseld.Dp and I had agreed we want to spend more time together and I am back pedalling

Glass of wine the reason is I think that this is a lovely road and a 'good'address and I really didn't think I was impressed by stuff like that but am beginning to think i have been kidding myself

Are there any tax advantsges to having a mortgage, particularly if you run your own businwess from your own home?

We would buy a house in a non conservation area so that dp could build a studio in the garden which could be offset against tax.He really wants to step off the mortgage and just live a simpler life and i do agree so have surprised myself tbh.Got another agent coming now at 11.15 back later xx

noddyholder - it sounds to me like you've got a great plan and it would be quite normal to find it hard to say goodbye to a 'better' adress etc. It's unrealistic not to, but it's a bit like me feeling broody - I accept that's how I feel, but it doesn't mean I have to run off and get pg again. Accept you feel sad to leave this house, but know that it's all for the good. Honestly sounds like a really good idea to me (and I can be quite a snob)

Thankyou Have just got rid of another agent They all say the same thing and I think I have been a bit silly and flattered that they have liked my work as I renovated and redesigned it.I just couldn't bear to disappoint dp as he is the sweetest bloke who never thinks of himself and if he knew I was even a bit sad about moving he would carry on working in his job whether he likes it or not.I on the other hand wouldn't be as generousThanks for your replies xx

Have had all the agents round now and when dp gets home and sees the figures he will be over the moon I on the other hand still feel funny about it.I have moved so many times and renovated a few houses and never felt like this but I know I have to let dp do this so will have to moan/cry here and keep smiling for him

You just need to get into the swing of househunting yourself. Once your imagination gets going about all the things you can do with a new house there'll be no stopping you. And once you've done that your lives are going to be so different too, you'll have so many options you won't know where to start. I'm very jealous, kind of makes me wish I hadn't fallen in love with this house.

You should talk to him about it. I'm sure it would make him sad to know you were doing it because you thought you owed him one. You also need to make sure you won't resent him later for it.