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Original poster

inlaws done it again, so mad

18 replies

trace2 · 29/12/2006 12:06

ds is 4 and half, since he was born every birthday and christmas! they buy him presants then take then back to there house after he opens them, and every time we get tears after wants to know why they took them back.

anyway we told them well befor christams this year that we didnt want them doing this this year, and we got well we got him a thomas train set and you have one at home so well have to keep it here, then next year he can take them home( all other years is been a rubish cheap present too.
they came on christmas day empty handed and told us he could have them when we go up, which we did yesterday, he oped the train set, then they gave him a bike trak he loved it and then said canrt wait to take thgis home, they never said anything and changed the subject. then they gave him a thomas ludo game! .... when we got home he wanted to show his big sis the game(shes 22) and we told him it was at granmars he was so upset and said so its not my present then its grandmars..... then he said you brought your presents home why carnt i? i feel so hurt for ds and dh is torn of how is mum can do this to him.

do i phone her and tell her what happened? and tell her we dont want them to buy him if he carnt bring them home! dh says he dont want to fall out with her over this.

sorry just had to have a moan about this..

OP posts:

Pinotmum · 29/12/2006 12:09

Very odd - they are his presents to do with as he wants surely. I'd tell them to stop mucking about and give him his presents

tribpot · 29/12/2006 12:11

That is bizarre, do they let him play with the toys when he is round at their house? (Still weird even if they do).

KTreePee · 29/12/2006 12:11

They are weirdos...

Original poster

trace2 · 29/12/2006 12:13

yes but he only goes on sat for 3 hours

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 29/12/2006 12:15

Hmmm, my inlaws do this a bit, but only with some toys, sometimes. Actually, thinking about it, the ones that stay at their house are just general purchases, not Xmas gifts etc.

How much time does he spend at their house? Could you bring the toys they bought him, with him, when he visits?

It doesn't sound worth falling out about, but it does sound annoying. Maybe your DS should just tell your inlaws how upset he is about it, so they understand?

paddingtonbear1 · 29/12/2006 12:16

gosh we go to my in-laws for xmas but they never tell dd she can't take her presents home! I would be too. I would definitely complain. Why do they want to keep his presents there?!
My friend who lives close to her mum's keeps some toys there and some at home, just so she doesn't have to take so much stuff when she goes there. It's only for convenience tho, and they do swap the toys around. Could you take the new presents home and swap them for some older ones?

fortyplus · 29/12/2006 12:17

They sound weird.
Nothing wrong with them wanting things at their house for him to play with, but can't understand why they would upset him like this by not letting him take his presents home.
I'd tell them he likes it so much he wants it at home and that you'll bring something else to keep at their house for Saturday visits.

paulaplumpbottom · 29/12/2006 12:18

My MIL also does this. She buys them gifts they have to keep at her house. This year I told her straight out it was not on and she complied. I think you need to talk to them to explain how upset he is.

Pinotmum · 29/12/2006 12:19

I'd say that he is old enough now to select what he wants to take with him every saturday to play with. Tell them they are being cruel to give him something and then keep it at their house and that he cries. If they can't put his feeling above their own stupid ideas then I'd really find it hard not to lose my temper and not let him go to visit at all. What is the point in upsetting him like this? Do they think he won't visit unless they have toys at theirs? Are they sound of mind? Grr!

TheBlonde · 29/12/2006 12:22

What do you think they would do if you tried to take the stuff with you? Grab it back and cause a scene??

poinsettydog · 29/12/2006 12:29

What a daft thing to do. Get a bundle of old toys for granny's house - either his or from a charity shop - and let him have his new toys where he can play with them whenever he wants.

There's no point granny buying him toys if he can't take them home. She's a fool.

Original poster

trace2 · 30/12/2006 18:24

well been today told them how upsat he was , and it didnt even bother them, so we told them we dont want to buy him anything then they just shruged

OP posts:

Bucketsofdynomite · 30/12/2006 19:58

Sounds like a strange control freakery thing. Are they very hard up or very tight? Can't think why they couldn't buy their own toys for their own home instead of using his gift as an excuse, charity shops are great for grandparents.

suzycreamcheese · 30/12/2006 20:54

very strange thing to do..kids play w/ anything and a gift you GIVE to someone not dictate where it 'lives'...er, its theirs now!
ours give up the presents no trouble its other issues people, other issues ggrrrrrrrrrr

Twiglett · 30/12/2006 20:59

I'd refuse to allow them to give him presents and I'd call them now and tell them how upset he is

that's such strange behaviour

whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 30/12/2006 21:11

weird and cruel. i actually think it is serious enough to have an argument over, they're breaking his wee heart. a gift is a GIFT. you hand it over and it's none of your business what happens next.
for the record, i would also have refused to take your gifts home from their house as an illustration of how stupid their behaviour is and also in solidarity with your son.

DontlookatmeImshy · 30/12/2006 21:13

Could you explain to them that once they have beengiven to him then they are HIS andit is upto HIM to decide what he does with them?

Agree it sounds like some sort of wierd control issue?

7swansaswimmingup · 30/12/2006 21:17

cant your dh have a word. really weird behaviour as others have said. they wont be able to do this to him when he gets a bit older, he'll go mad at them and end up asking not to go.poor boy

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