ok ds1 has just knocked the hugest lump of plaster off the living room wall

[Jimjams2]

Most of the house needs replastering but we can't afford to have it done at the moment. How do I patch it up? It's about 1m by 50cm in size, and is all crumbling away back to the brick. I've patched up small areas before but nothing this size.

Hmmm...may be worth paying someone for some patch plastering? I can't imagine it would be that much. I sympathise, our house is falling apart and looks like Steptoes Yard. Bl**dy old houses

I just think they'll refuse to patch it up because really the whole wall needs doing. Which we can't afford. I'd never buy this house now- it was meant to be our dream home. Grrrr.

I'm with you on that one, we have a half finished 3 storey Victorian townhouse....and a dd with CP. Practical

It might be worth asking around. We know a lovely plasterer chap whose business tagline is 'no job too small', which always makes me laugh for some reason. He's done loads of patching for us, as like you we haven't had the ££ for a full re-plaster.

It is possible to fill a big hole in patches - I have done it, although not quite that big a hole - and if you undercut the loose edges and squeeze filler under them it will make them more stable.

If you try it, wet the bricks first so they don't suck all the moisture out of the filler - I use one of those plant sprays.

You won't get a smooth even finish obv but as long as it's clean and more or less level with the surrounding area it will look OK.

Knock the rest off and have a feature wall of exposed brick!

Theres some stuff called "Smooth over" by polyfilla. We used it to re plaster our full hallway. It does need sanding when its dry to get a smooth finish but well worth it and much cheaper than having it done by a pro.

Stand a cupboard in front of it?!
Bloomin' old hoses! Bloomin' kids!
Must've given your ds a bit of a shock, though?
Best thing is use the smooth over stuff on the large area and if you get any lumpy looking bits use a sander on them. Likewise if you have any hollows use some fine surface filler to raise the surface a little then sand down. Our house was built in 1910 and we had to 'make do and mend' for years. Re plastering might not cost as much as you think - maybe about £100 for a wall if you hack the old plaster off yourselves first.

That should be 'houses' not 'hoses' of course!

ds1 didn't even notice -luckily - oe he'd be picking at it. now the hooover has given up the ghost.

Thanks for all the tips. Oh chonky I'm so with you on that one. When we bought this house ds1 was only just 3 and we had no idea how severe he was- and how it was just going to turn into some sort of death trap for him. Ours is 4 story edwardian- I dream of bungalows- my dream house (when I win the lottery) is to build a buge bungalow with an enclosed quad in the middle - all windows opening into the quad. Bliss. Heavenly supervision bliss.

Something that might be useful though is that a SW recently suggested that we might be able to get double glazing via a disabled facilities grant as ds1 climbs up onto our ropey 100 year old rotton single glazed highly dangerous windows. Will keep you informed.

it does sound like something for a plasterer JimJams. Glad ds didn't hurt himself! The bungalow with an enclosed quad sounds a brilliant idea - I'd go for it also! Hope you get that double glazing sorted out. [and hope ds 3is well now - my ds got over his viruses - sorry for bothering you with my worries at the time! We are waiting for Tettenborn to come back from compassionate leave to have our two year review - no idea when he's back yet. Sorry for hijack!]

You can buy something called patching plaster for a couple of quid from Wilko's or B&Q or similar. You buy it dry in a box and mix it up. Dead easy to use - similar to filler but better for larger areas than filler.

I'm probably too late though....

No not too late at all, as the hoover has died all the old plaster is still in a heap on the floor- except for the bit I could sweep up. I'm just trying to ignore it. (Failing). Ds1 literally didn't notice at all. Hope Tettenborn is OK!