Dh has quit smoking and he's driving me crazy...............

[Northerner]

He's on day 5 with no fags. I quit for new year, I didn't moan, scream at him or demand his support AND he was still smoking at the time so it was really hard for me, but I did it - quietly on my own. But HIM, he needs constant support and hand holding. Last night we spent 2 hours discussing how he feels, how difficult it is, how best he should deal with his cravings etc. And he still accused me of not being supportive enough. He's grouchy, ill tempered and I can't take much more.

I'm realy close to buying him 20 silk cut and ramming them up his arse!

Rant over.

rofl Northerner

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Northerner

I have lost count of the number of times my dh has said 'right, I'm stopping when this packet is gone', has stopped for about 3 days and then always found some excuse to start again. Last time he said he was stopping I just laughed and said 'yeah right ...'. I then got shouted at for being unsupportive. As a non-smoker myself, I have no idea what he means when he says I need to support him - do I just have to be calm and endlessly patient when he snaps at me or do I follow him outside to his smoking spot (the garage) and check up on him and chuck any fags I find in the bin?
Don't mean to hijack your thread - just wanting advice from someone who has given up on how to handle the giver-upper iyswim

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Give something up yourself (celery say) and then moan about it constantly. See how he likes it

secur and sponge - like both those ideas! But if I was to moan all the time he'd have to smoke cos I was 'stressing him out' and if I left for 6 months he'd have to smoke cos he'd got nothing else to do!
I think the bottom line is that he doesn't really want to give up - he's just making the noises (and winding me up cos I really want him to give up)

I would recommend putting a gag on the giver-upper. Not only will they not be able to smoke but they also won't be able to moan, whine and snap over every little thing!

Can you tell I've been through this with dh before?

I bet he's waiting for you to say "oh ffs, have a f fag" Don't do it! Don't ram them up his arse either

Cookiemonster - when my dh wants support, he expects me to listen to him, encourage him and constantly tell him how well he is doing and how proud I am of him, keep reminding him he can do it and it will get better. Bit like a 3 year old really!

good to hear others have been here too ..
I really don't think I can do that Northerner ... one 3 year old in the house is quite enough thank you!

My DH had given up lots of times then, partly from pressure from our DS, he just mae up his mind and did it. No sneaky fags, no provoking me so that I'd bite back and he's use that as an excuse, etc. etc.

TRY to be calm and patient and support him, even if you think he won't do it this time.

DH used Niquitin lozenges to help him and swears by them He didn't like the patches and the gum just made him hiccup and burp! As a bonus his snoring isn't as bad these days either!