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Help!! Ive got to find somewhere to live!

13 replies

meandthomas · 16/05/2004 20:25

My mums decided that she cant cope with ds and me living with her! She said its affecting her stress levels and will end up ill again. (shes collapsed twice and was ill for a long time)
How do I go about finding somewhere to live?
I'm only 19 and ds is 6 months and I dont know where to begin!
HELP!!!

OP posts:
kalex · 16/05/2004 20:29

OMIGOD, you poor soul, Housing Assocaition and Council, with a letter from your mom saying that she is making you homeless.

BIG HUGS ((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))

Are you okay with this, did you see it coming! Have you already been looking 4 alternative accomadation? Sorry for the personal questions but how is your relationship with her otherwise? Is this really what she wants or a big misunderstanding?

phatcat · 16/05/2004 20:30

Hi meandthomas - I noticed on another thread you said you were off to college in September - does the college have a student housing officer who might be able to help? That might be a start. Good luck.

misdee · 16/05/2004 20:31

apply to the council. explain the situation and saying your mum is chucking you out (effectivly she is, get her to put this in writing, with a date on when you have to leave by, usually about 28days will do). this should get you on the homeless list and put you as a prioity for housing as you have a child. keep on bugging them, and bugging them and bugging them till you get something. persistance does work, look at nutcracker!!

Janh · 16/05/2004 20:37

meandthomas, as far as your current position is concerned I would think your best bet is start with the Citizens Advice Bureau. You could also approach your local council and any Housing Associations in your area. Do you have any friends who might have space for you temporarily?

However I have to say, without wanting to sound uncaring or unhelpful, that I have DDs currently aged 19 and 22 and I made sure that they both knew, from very early on, that if they had babies on their own they should not assume they could live here with them, or expect any form of regular minding; so I do sympathise with your mother. I do wish you luck but I wouldn't want to have a 6-month-old living with us and I haven't had any form of breakdown!

Nutcracker · 16/05/2004 20:52

Hi M&T, sorry to hear this, i hope you aren't too upset by it all.
As others have said, you need to register with the council. Explain that you are going to be made homeless (they will want proof so you'll need a letter) and then you will be given priority. The council will also nominate you to housing associations too BUT whilst you are waiting to hear from the council get on as many housing association lists as you can because once you are on the councils lists alot of H/A's won't accept you unless you are nominated by the council, which is o.k but then you never really know where you stand iykwim.
The only other thing you need to watch, is that if you are considered priority then you will be expected to accept the first thing you are offered. If you don't accept it then you have to have a very good reason otherwise they will take you r priority points off you.

Contact your helath visitor too as she will be able to write letters supporting your application.

On any application forms you have to fill in, you have to lay it on really thick, and say how exactly living in your current situation is bad for you and your ds and mom too.

I'll be honest, it is hard and you have to keep on at them all the time otherwise they try to forget your there BUT it does work eventually.

I couldn't of got through it without everyone on MN and i know they will all help you too.

Good Luck, and if theres anything else that you need to know then don't hesitate to ask either on here or contact another talker.

Nutcracker · 16/05/2004 20:54

Sorry, also meant to ask you, which area you live in ????

Don't let them bully you into putting down areas that you don't really want.

Nutcracker · 16/05/2004 21:07

Just had another thought. Try www.availablehomes.org.uk as they have lists of available council and H/A homes to rent.

nikcola · 16/05/2004 22:06

i was in your situation once so sorry it must be terrible for you , kalex is wright you have to get a letter off your mom saying that she is making you leave and take it to the council le us no how you gwt on xxxxxxx

nikcola · 16/05/2004 22:08

sorry i didnt read all the posts

meandthomas · 17/05/2004 09:04

I wish it was all a big misunderstanding
No this really is completely out of the blue!

When I found out I was pregnant my mum was really supportive and said that she'd support me in anyway that she could and that she didn't WANT me moving out. She's never assumed the job of any regular minding except when I go to choir (she fought everyone off that one even though I had plenty of offers.) She's always been really supportive and said she'll continue to do so, and she still loves me...blah blah blah.

She said i can stay with her till something happens with regards to living somewhere else, so thats ok..
Its weird though living with her even though she asked me to leave. :'(
this morning she came into my room as normal to give ds a cuddle and told him that she'd really miss her morning snuggles!

OP posts:
meandthomas · 18/05/2004 08:44

Hi I just thought Id update everyone and tell you that things seem to be ok now.
Mum said she didnt want me and ds to go to a council place, and is going to move in with her partner and buy a 2bed place for me to use till I get myself on my feet properly after I've finished at college.
Hopefully this will work out ok

OP posts:
Nutcracker · 18/05/2004 13:36

OOOh that sounds good. Hope it all works out

nikcola · 18/05/2004 20:24

glad things have worked out for you

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