cme and give me a kick up the arse. if you offer a shoulder I'll burst into tears. not good.

[hatwoman]

moan no 1. the house is full of old shite. there's no point in tidying it up because within 10 minutes it becomes full of new shite. there are just bits everywhere.

1. I'm not excited about Christmas
2. the morning routine is so bloody stressful it nearly had me in tears
3. dh is not really all that well. he's hovering somewhere inbetween depression and anxiety - it's not too bad right now but not great either. and I don;t think we've had a shag for about 3 weeks.
4. dd2 is the world's biggest cock-about and I have the world's shortest fuse. not a good combination
5. I have too much work to do and not enough time to do some out-of-work things that I keep saying I will do.
6. I'm an old bag and I don't really have anything at all to whinge about.

Ladies of mn, get your feet ready, I present to you my butt.

and if you don;t want to kick, you could join in. that, of course, is allowed. only sympathy banned.

OH dear...

Well on no 1. SORT IT OUT!! Watch a nice Christmassy DVD, do some Christmas craft bits - make cards or decorations, gingerbread biscuits or mince pies!!

Sorry, not much help really!

Consider yourself butt-kicked

No advice - I'm in the organisational poo too, hence hovering on MN at 9am when I should be Doing Things.

And (say it quietly) I really don't think Christmas is anything to be excited about anyway, unless you're under 4 feet tall.

hatwoman I won't add my own moan but I'm in exactly the same boat.

Erm.... think positive, woman!
1: get a big binbag and go into de-clutter mode. Tell everyone if it aint in it's right place, it goes in the bin.
2: You've got plenty of time to work up a bit of enthusiasm - it's ages of yet! (Tries to convince herself!)
3: It's nearly the holidays, so just hang in there for a few more mornings.
4: Would DH go to the GP if you went with him, just for a chat, initially?
5: She sounds bright and witty. You sound determined and feisty. (See, I'm getting quite good at this positivity now!
6: Ah, you'll be a mum then?
7: Not as old as me, I'll warrant? And it's my birthday, so now you have to try and cheer me up!

Can I recommend that you join the daily FLYing threads? I can see a big difference in my house and daily achievements since joining. Look in the Good Housekeeping topic for the threads.

not having a shag for 3 weeks isn't so bad. My dh has gone much longer in the past

Jump your husband's bones tonight .

Have a coffee and get on with it like the rest of us!!! Maybe too harsh, sorry....!
It will all be OK in a few days. Any chance its PMT? That always catches me off guard and then i'm OK 2 days later.

Are there really that many people over the age of, oh 12, who are really excited about Christmas?

will dh talk to you about what's going on?

Go and read a good book that you haven't read before.
And this .
Get on Freecycle.org if you haven't already.

I'm with you on 2, 6 (big time) and 7 especially!

Does your dd ever do any actual cleaning? I was never asked as a child so I didn't offer so the novelty of helping other kids at their homes was great. Give her a sock, squirt some orange cleaner on it and see how filthy she can make it by wiping surfaces in her room. (Thanks to Piffle or Squiggle for the Mucky Mucky Sock Sock game idea, sorry I forget which)

thank you ladies. esp humphrey cushion for the positive take on me and dd. Dusting I;'ve given up on as we have builders at the moment. I can live with dust. and dds have actually been given the job quite regularly recently and quite like it. It's just stuff tht gets to me - dds playing games that involve lots of paper, shoes in the hallway, a million pieces of paper from school stuck to the fridge; re Christmas - I do normally get excited - on the kids' behalf, I hasten to add. but yes, there's still time. I did a bit of shopping this morning and failed to get any pressies at all, but got some lovely decorations. yes I think hormones might be a factor - seem to be pretty topsy turvey at the moment - found myself welling up when the lovely dear next to me in the shop starting chatting to me, saying how quickly kids grow up and how her grandchildren are 10 and 11 and all the magical bit (of their lives and of Christmas) is over . the dh thing is ongoing - he's a lot better now then he was a few months back, he's been to the docs and seemed to get a lot better. but then took a few steps backwards a few weeks ago. his eyes look so sad and empty.

It must be a strain if dh is down and you know it. Sorry, nearly veered into sympathy there.

1. Re the clutter, get everyone involved tomorrow, bin bags at the ready. Find a place for everything and put it there. With EVERY single thing you touch either

put it away NOW
file it NOW
bin it
put it in an action pile

And deal with the action stuff later. I bet you find it's less than you thought. You get the idea.

1. That's ok. Stop worrying about it, it's not important

1. tell us and we'll critique it for you

1. Can you go out together or get away together? What does he say if you talk about it? Going out/away will help the shag thing

1. Hmm, ds and I can be a bit like this too, what are the flash points? Can you tell us and we can help?

1. Do essential stuff only, sod the rest.

1. Quite.

What does he would make him happy, how does he want the rest of his life to be? Obviously you'd like things to be different too so maybe you could make a plan together and work out small goals that would get you nearer your dream life together. If you start visualising happy times maybe they're more likely to happen.

HATTY
1 moved house 4 weeks ago & there are umpteen bags & boxes still to be unpacked & I cannot be arsed.
2 Trying to be really enthusiastic about Xmas but because of above we're skinto
3 Anniversaries of DH's parents passing 6/12 & 17/1 so generally a pants time of year for us ( he is in a grumpy mood from Novemebr to Feb usually)
4 DD (5) swings from angel to most annoying wee limpet pest at the drop of a hat
5 I'm feeling v hormonal all the time, if I'm not having one it feels like one's in the offing & I'm too busy/knackered/p'd off to go to the Drs
6 Haven't had a sh*g in 4 weeks!
Is your butt sore yet! Get up off it & have a big vodka like I intend to do you feel Xmassy now.

You are like Artie Fufkin. Here's my ass, enjoy.
You've had lots of good advice - my extra tip is to fit a tough new hoover bag, remove any crevice tools or nozzles from the hoover, and give them all 3 mins flat before you point the hoover at the shite and press the on button.
Works a treat in our Squalor Hollow.
Will not be flippant about dh because I have been there and I know how grindingly wearing it can be. Big sympathies XXX

ditto

1. house a total disaster zone. I've been sick for the past 2 weeks so serously behind onthe housework plus trying to sort stuff out for the move.
2. Can't even think about christmas in any excited fashion. I've done the cards and presents but no tree etc as we are due to move house on the 23rd december
3. I don't find this one too bad, I do a lot of preparation the night before make sure all clothes shoes book bags pe kits etc are ready and in place.
4. dh working crazy hours and never see him.
5. sounds like dd and I (so no advice)
6. I'm a sahm but also never find time to do those "othr" things
7. I'm not old but the stress of this move (that has been going on since early summer) and the fact I have felt so lousy the past 2 weeks makes me feel about 100.

I shall now also present my backside for a good kicking.

thank you jbck. I am running away with my hands clasped firmly over said arse making ooooooh ooooow noises.

www - thanks for your thoughtful posts. It has made me realise that all this stuff is interconnected eg Morning routine - I know exactly what the problem is - we don;t get up early enough; teh reason we don't get up early is because we don;t go to bed early enough, the reason for that being that dh is sleeping incredibly badly.
re 4 - we had a good chat the other night which resulted in eating dinner the next day at the kitchen table and talking some more - instead of vegging infront of the TV - didn;t talk about anything in particular over dinner but both agreed how nice it was (pathetic ay?)a small step but a good one.
re 6 I think I set myself some ridiculous goals for the tail end of the year (train for marathon, get something published, get new job, organise having entire family for christmas, organise new bathroom; have house redug by builders, spend more time with dds to make up for my virtual absence over the last year...) - result has been not acheiving any of them, need to have rethink and maybe not be so harsh on myself

all those goals to be achieved whilst reintegrating myself back into my 3 day a week job after a years sabbatical. I must have taken a bloody wacky pill to come up with all that lot.

Probably why your dd's bugging you then (please don't hit me!)
Can you cancel the big Christmas, I'm sure people would understand if you just freaked out on the phone and said you can't cope (you might get sent some extra nice pressies too). Doesn't sound like any of you would enjoy it much (esp your dh), I prescribe a nice quiet nuclear Christmas and footy in the park.

The vodka will also numb the pain of your sore arse so go on go on as Mrs Doyle says. To have all these things going on at any time is hard but this time of the year is doubly so when you feel you must put on your jolly face. Try printing this one off & using it when you really cannot dredge up a smile. Only other mumsnetters will not be fooled.
Hope I didn't sound too sympathetic there I'd hate to have to kick my own!

sorry - I may be guilty of giving false impression. christmas has turned out smaller than I had "wanted". the obligatory two weeks of byzantine family plotting resulted in decisions that most of the people I wanted are coming, but not all at once. I think that's better...and no jbck, you weren;t harsh, you made me smile (though I acted with propriety and resisted the temptation to challenge you to a shag race) you're all very lovely actually. I'm being a bit flippant (and the one thing in all this I shouldn;t be flippant about is dh) but sometimes you do just need to rustle up something to laugh about.