Funerals

[clint2003]

Would like to know what people think about children attending funerals. My children just lost their Grandmother. At age 11 and 9 they have asked to attend. I think it's important to let them go especially if they have asked and think it will help them and allow them to say goodbye. What's your views?

They are old enough to make their own choice.

I would talk them through what will happen as much as possible and maybe have someone who wasn't as close to their grandmother to take them out if needed. (My paternal grandma was my 'get out' person for my maternal grandfathers funeral when I was 13)

Sorry for your loss.

Mine were 3, 5 and 7 when they came to my dad's funeral. My lovely MIL came with us, to help dh look after the boys, in case I was too upset, and to look after them back at my parents' house whilst we went on to the crematorium for the commitment service there.

They coped just fine with it - they were sad, of course, but they behaved well. At the funeral tea afterwards, it helped to have them there - not to lighten the mood, exactly, but as a happy note, if you see what I mean.

Sorry for you loss. I would absolutely take them if they're keen; they're old enough that being left out could be very hurtful for them. Where I'm from, kids would always be brought to funerals once they reach school age - I recognise this isn't the same everywhere. But 11 and 9 is certainly old enough. Death and the rituals around it are a part of life.

Wouldn't occur to me not to take them to be honest.

Thankyou all for your replys. Some family members did not think it was right for them to go as they felt that they were to young. They came along and I was very proud of them. It helped them to say goodbye properly and I feel helped them understand better.