Swagger Inn Thread 115: She's baaaaaaack!!! Hwyl fawr rugby! Helo green goddess!

[MadamedeChevreuse]

Tidy.

Argh - was at Dr getting more leprosy drugs. Have missed exam

Erm... work. yes. right.

5)Do NOT discuss Emc2, Work-in-Progress, mooncups or the grapefruit blow-job technique, just get on down .....
feathery, strokery, suckey, and carry on through the gag relex, on we go la-la-la-la-la >>>>>>

Richly deserved House Swot Merit Badge Helen. Excellent work

shows workings
shows workings

extra marks

extra marks

let me show you my BJ workings

Alternative version for Elk:

You find yourself alone in a room with him, being subjected to the Look oh Penetrating Intent. You walk purposefully towards him and push him back onto a bad/against a wall etc
His jacket is hanging open, and you snog his face off as you slowly unwind the Slightly Grubby Scarf of Phwoargh, exposing a delightful V of skin and chest hair. You step back and lead him towards your bed, where you remove the scarf and he watches you with a look of
You push him back towards your bed and loop the scarf around his wrists.

He is now tied to your bed, and you are incapable of leaving it, because frankly, if he's there, why on earth would you want to?

So Santi walks in and asks for a hand soaping him down in the shower - it may not keep You ladies in bed..... But I am sure you can cope

Excellent Helen, exemplary work...I particularly liked my own personal scenario which I shall be filling away in my drawers for my own personal use.

Interesting fact: in a recent RCT study by Elk et al (2015) the LoPI was found to melt the knickers off a cohort of 486 women, caused loosening in the elastic of the knickers of a further 212 subjects and created a slight twitch in the thong of a fully confirmed Santiholic (a subject who until this point had completely denied any Tom leanings, although later admitted to succumbing to his aura) Find the abstract here

Unfortunately I'm going to have to deduct marks for not mentioning the drawling mellifluous baritone commanding one to "get on one's knees", which heard by any female between the ages of 21 and 72 has an immediate and commanding effect.

Now Obs....this Grapefruit BJ? Should I ask?? What with me being the sweet, naive, innocent type I am it's not a phrase I am familiar with. Would you care to enlighten?, should I Google....??

Well I'm back from the breast clinic - would anyone else like a feel? I think half the county did this morning so I really wouldn't notice an extra squeeze or two

Aramis could confine me to bed just by being so fucking hot that when a wench asks me to think of ways he would confine me to bed I am overcome with lust and unable to get out of bed

so glad you asked about the grapefruit technique before me elk

Nice scenarios Helen and fluff. I would feel OTH if I hadn't spent the day puppy-sitting. Yes wenches, I've bought a puppy.

badders? Be a love and locate my blob too please? I haven't the energy.

Thank you kindly flopsy - can I cuddle your puppiesy ?

I would if I could fancy.
No fucking idea where mine is BUT otoh I have bad ibs type pain, nausea and headache so it must be in its merry way!
Oh, and Dh is away from tomorrow. Marvellous.

Fancy?
Flops.
Jesus.

Fucking strikethrough fail

Have a little something to cheer you up badders - maybe Athos pics can produce a hormone surge & sort you out?

Scrolling through all my saved pics to find the one I want is sooo difficult - trying to stay focussed whilst scores of pics of fafness scroll by

It'll take than a ruddy hormone surge, fancy my old love :(
Frankly I might need one of you to drive a small car up my chuff to get thing going :(
God, I'm fed up of this.....shit!
It's shit.

well, you wouldn't lose anything by going for the hormone route . I'm sure Athos would be happy to try - he'd consider it a duty etc etc

Seriously, that Santi pic has completely ruined me. The loophole is mine tonight thank you. Father Vega needs to recover apply some ointment do priestly stuff, so filthy Santi can shag me until I beg for mercy stand in for him.

I have just bahahah'ed on Twitter at them discussing his necklace. FFS. Why would you even think of doing that???

Oh & back to the convo about the list of things that could actually keep me in bed with him all day.

Him straddling my breasts. Resting his...there. Sliding his....down there.

I'm retelling that fanfic, aren't I?

If you don't have the imagination to think what you'd be doing with his eyes/hair/chest hair/mouth and drift off into a world of lust before you notice the necklace

Not a situation that is ever likely to happen with wenches, thank the Lord.

He's wearing a necklace?

Oh you had to mention breasts didn't you sparks?

Haha Fancy, that's exactly what I posted on twitter in reply to Sparks Great pervyminds.