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Original poster

God this time of year's hard...

46 replies

Dottydotthehalls · 05/12/2006 20:24

Sat here feeling miserable and just need to get it out of my system.

Keep thinking about ds1, who's 5 on Thursday. He wanted a party at a soft play centre but it was going to work out at about £120 so we had to tell him we couldn't afford it and he's taking a friend to a miniature railway thing instead. He was fine about it, but he's so little - but so grown up and solemn and I keep thinking about him nodding and trying to understand. I said his brother would also have a little party for his birthday in April, and then ds1 could have a soft play thing next December and we'd save up for it.

Ridiculous really. He's going to have a fab birthday, is getting tons of presents - he's had 5 parcels through the post already! I've started saving for next year already (Thanks to Oliveoil who ages ago recommended getting one of those tins you can't open!), but I just feel so lousy at this time of year - birthdays and Christmas - because I can't provide everything I'd really like to. I'm the breadwinner and have got a good job, but it's not enough - it sees us through 'ordinary' months, but nothing to spare and therefore no savings for December.

Sigh. Right, am done. Don't usually get down so putting it all here gets it all out of my head and I can go and do something useful like exercise off the chocolate I've just eaten...

OP posts:

pageturner · 06/12/2006 10:30

More sympathy to all of you with Christmas babies: mine are 30th December, 10th January and 8th February. [sigh]

bettythebauble · 06/12/2006 10:40

Christmas Birthdays really are expensive, aren't they (finding that out big style, this year, as dd will be 4 )

I'm planning a v. small b'day present, then get a 'summer' toy (maybe a little bicycle) in the January sales. We'll see how that goes down...

Original poster

Dottydotthehalls · 06/12/2006 10:40

Yes, the railway place begins with a B and it's fab!! And the rides are only £1!!!

Fennel - I haven't got your e-mail address here at work, but my e-mail address here is:

t.lakinson at nwpgmd dot nhs dot uk
(if that makes sense!).

OP posts:

Original poster

Dottydotthehalls · 06/12/2006 10:42

Pageturner - that's a nightmare (in the nicest possible way..!).

This thread's been a real comfort to me actually - I thought I'd be the only 'dreadful' mummy to have to deny my child a big birthday party and it turns out there's loads of us!

OP posts:

Original poster

Dottydotthehalls · 06/12/2006 10:43

Fennel - I was trying to work it so that they go to school as early as possible - which I thought September babies would? But I'm not the most logical of thinkers, so I've probably got it completely wrong..? Anyway, we've decided to wait another year at least, so that ds2 has started primary school.

OP posts:

ComeOyefaithfulVeneer · 06/12/2006 10:44

Another one here with christmas kids 19th dec and 8th jan, plus we are moving house ina couple of weeks. Last week the clutch went on the car (£450) and yesterday 3 fence panels blew down in the wind and are too badly damaged to put back up, so will have to get new ones this weekend. Plus the dvd player isn't working or the video player ( I suspect ds has done something to them) so will need to fork out for them to (hopefully) be repaired in the new year. It never rains but it pours.

Lucycat · 06/12/2006 10:48

We're going to the railway place that begins with a B on Saturday morning as FC is at the end of the railway ride - then in to look at the decorations inside the greenhousy bit, they were lovely last year, couldn't drag the dd's away!

As long as he's got a cake, with candles he'll have a lovely day.

Lucycat · 06/12/2006 10:49

August babies start school when they are 4.0, September babies will be 4.11, no January intake here of course!

foxinsocks · 06/12/2006 10:49

are you in England dot? if so, the Sept babies start when they are about to turn 5 whereas if you had say an August baby, they would start just after they've turned 4.

Honestly, summer babies cause just as many problems with parties. All of dd's (august) friends were away in the holidays, so we ended up having a very small tea party at home (which was great fun actually).

I really do think (having done a few big and small parties), that the small parties are much more fun for them because they get more attention and they can set the tempo (rather than having 30 kids running riot in a soft play place which is stressful for everyone!).

CarolSheetTurner · 06/12/2006 10:52

Dotty, it's just a nightmare really ! But there is a great sense of relief on 9th February that I don't have to stress about this stuff for MONTHS!

(pageturner in Christmas disguise!)

Spicedfennelwine · 06/12/2006 10:56

dd2 went to the railway-place-beginning-with-B with school last year to see FC. She was a bit sceptical about the experience, she thought they hadn't travelled far enough from school for it to be actually the North Pole.

and dd1 sulked because her class didn't go.

Original poster

Dottydotthehalls · 06/12/2006 10:56

Oops. Of course you're right - need to aim for an August baby (if we start aiming, that is)!!

Lucy Cat - might see you there then! I'll be with the VERY NOISY and overly excited small boys - ds1, his brother, his best friend 'specially chosen and our friends with their 2 boys. 5 small boys at a railway place - aarrgghhhh...

COYFO - why does that always happen - everything always breaks at the same time. The video and DVD player breaking down at the same time thing happened to us a few months ago (also the result of small children up to no good I should think). Luckily we'd got some wedding vouchers so were able to replace the DVD. Really wish it wasn't always down to luck/chance that we're able to buy stuff though!

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 06/12/2006 10:56

DD2 also has a bday in December - Sunday, in fact!

Wish I were one of those people who found it easy to fall pregnant, b/c would have had her a different month.

As it was, we tried and tried before getting her.

Don't feel bad!

We're all crammed up in this pokey flat two floors up w/no outdoor space at all and can't afford anything else - we're renting, too.

I feel horrible about it and do everything we can to move us on from this situation.

Was overpaid, too, so this month I'll only get half my wages.

He's got a loving family in you both and he'll have a terrific bday!!!

Spicedfennelwine · 06/12/2006 11:02

dsis has a birthday on 23rd Dec. Which really sucks. she used to have half birthdays in June as an extra to make up for having a birthday too close to Christmas.

puddle · 06/12/2006 11:08

Dotty your little chap sounds as though he's going to have a super birthday.

Just wanted to add that you can have a party without spending a fortune though. For my DS's 6th party last year we had 20 kids playing games in a church hall and did the whole thing for about £40.00. You don't have to do the soft play thing - they are a rip off IMO.

For dd we had 15 children in our house (all very well behaved little girls) and did it for less than £20.

ediemay · 06/12/2006 11:29

hi Dotty, my DS has his birthday in December too. I just wanted to say - have a lovely day, I'm sure it will be more special for him because it's smaller and less chaotic. Happy Birthday little Dotty

foundintranslation · 06/12/2006 11:40

dh's birthday is in late July and he still talks about not having ever had a party because it was always the holidays. [ahhh emoticon] And because of the way the intake worked where he came from, he didn't start school until he was 7 . He's 2 years older than me and we left school in the same year.

ds was born in May, which is nice. I quite like the idea of an autumn baby, but repeated mc-ers can't be choosers.

FiveGoldenFIMBOs · 06/12/2006 11:49

My dd has been invited to parties loads of times at those soft play centres. She is so bored of going to them, that she doesn't go to them all. The food at these places are usually pretty dire too.

My ds is 3 on Saturday and he is having a small party at the village hall on Monday morning which costs £12 for 2hrs hire. I have bought a packet of Christmas cards for them to decorate and they will mostly have fun just running about.

MerryChipmonkAndAHappyNewey · 06/12/2006 12:26

Aw Dot! The railway thing honestly sounds like far more fun than the soft play centre! We have generally had soft play parties and there's always at least one argument and at least one child in tears at some stage during the proceedings! Ds3 will be 2 on the 27th of December. Last year MIL forgot his birthday!

bubblepop · 06/12/2006 13:55

aww dotty (((((hugs)))) know exactly what you mean and ive been thinking the same myself. we've got 4 kids and 2 have december birthdays, then its christmas! really don't think we can give them everything they want but never mind, we just try to make the best of things and make a really big fuss of them on their birthdays.the older two are beginning to know that things cost a lot of money and that its just not an endless supply of cash, they accept that now. im sure your little one will enjoy his day, no matter what you do, because you just have to make him feel so special and important that where ever you go it won't really matter as long as you celebrate it together.

redshoes · 06/12/2006 17:04

I have sympathy too - my 2 youngest dds are end-November and 12th December. My eldest 2 are summer, and it is sooooo much better birthday-wise. However, I think it's harder for summer-borns at school, they are nearly a year younger than some others, and when you've just turned 4 that's a huge difference! FWIW, my dd1 had her 6th birthday at a soft-play centre and spent it in tears cos no-one was playing with her. I agree a small party with them getting lots of attention is better

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