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Original poster

I think Mumsnet may RUIN relationships between mothers and daughters

22 replies

Twiglett · 05/12/2006 09:32

Because rather than calling mothers up for advice and guidance about a myriad of stuff .. we tend to come here instead where its less judgemental hence

... we don't talk as much to our mothers
... we don't make them feel as valued by asking their advice
... we disagree with their advice when it is given because we have thousands of peer voices backing us up

what do you think?

OP posts:
Carmenere · 05/12/2006 09:32

Mothers are overrated anyway

munz · 05/12/2006 09:33

lol. I still ask mine althou sh'es admitted she's glad i'm on here cos she doesn't know everything! lol. and it's good to get other's POV anyhow!

hoxtonchick · 05/12/2006 09:33

my mum likes mn as it means i don't pester her . and we speak at least once a day, more often 2 or 3 times. and i didn't discover it until ds was about 6 months so she lots of questions before that....

StarrmumofRoyalBeautyBright · 05/12/2006 09:35

My mum died almost 3 years ago - so I don't have anyone to ask!

I really miss that - used to talk to her several times a week, sometimes a day.

Tommy · 05/12/2006 09:37

I think you could be right Twiglett although even before MN, I didn't ask my Mum for advice or chat very much cos she thinks she's always right and that, regarding bringing up children, if it worked for her......

expatinscotland · 05/12/2006 09:38

My mum's principal residence is 5000 miles away and she travels a lot.

6beetrootsAmilking · 05/12/2006 09:39

I think we form relationships with our mothers based on trust and love rather than getting angry with them for the crap advice!

LittleSarah · 05/12/2006 09:40

Not for me.

A. She just forces her opinions on me anyway!
B. Often we talk about trivial things, family things, personal things, stuff I never talk about online!

2shoes · 05/12/2006 09:41

ah but as i haven't got a mum
Carmenere they are not overated when you haven't got one.

LadyTophamHatt · 05/12/2006 09:42

Hmmm, I suppose thats true Twig but my mum really is a different type of mum to what I am now.

Lots of things are similar between us (She wssn't a very huggy mum and neither am I).

I've lost count how many times I had to ask her not to interupt them, or if they are talking to her she often doesn't notice they are talking to her until theyt are tugging on her or i point it out.

I don't really ask her advice on thing because she's from a completely differnet era when it come to parenting.

winnie · 05/12/2006 09:44

I miss my Mum desperately and however great MN is, it is no substitute for a Mum.

flutturkey · 05/12/2006 09:50

Most of the time my Mum and I laugh about the ridiculous arguments and threads on here, you know the "OMG I just saw a Mum giving her child 1 tiny sweet, she will be obese before shes 5"

I love having MN to reassure and advise me but at the end of the day it's my Mum that I always turn to when I need help, I really am lucky to have her.

Original poster
Twiglett · 05/12/2006 09:50

I had a telephone argument with my mother last week ... with my mum you just call her a few days later and start chatting, there's no talking through issues

.. I didn't want to call her ... and yesterday I made myself do it with a stupid question that my first instinct was to turn to mn to ask (can I make a chicken pie in a cake pan if I can't find my ceramic pie dish? .. the answer was yes btw)

OP posts:
JARMgotstuckupthechimney · 05/12/2006 09:52

If my mum was still here, maybe I could phone her for advice. I only found MN 2 months after she died.

I loved my mum, but didnt tell her or show her enough and the guilt is eating me up inside.

I agree though - treasure what you have before you lose it.

(Wise words for a 24yr old me thinks)

dmo · 05/12/2006 10:00

i dont have a mum havent had one since i was 6yrs old
dont have a best friend (never have) dont do girly chats, have lots of friends but dont really talk to anybody i'm just not like that
mn is great for advice for people like me

liquidclocks · 05/12/2006 10:02

Goodness hope I don't end up sounding too cheesy here but I actually think MN has improved my relationship with my mother. Mainly because it's made me appreciate how lucky I am to have a mum and one that loves me and my kids and doesn't try to manipulate me or make me feel crap.

Also partly because a lot of what she told me is echoed on here so actually it's usually you lot backing her up

ChristmasCaroligula · 05/12/2006 10:04

I personally wouldn't ask my mum anything because she drives me insane, but I think if you're in the habit of talking to your mum, asking her advice etc., Mumsnet isn't going to stop you doing that more than it will stop you talking to friends etc. Oops, it does stop me talking to friends, socialising, getting a life etc... so maybe you're on to something.

Tortington · 05/12/2006 10:07

my mothers a certified nutbucket selfish cow anyway.

i am sure my daughter will love the blessed relief from 'motherclingywhineyitis' when she is older

stleger · 05/12/2006 10:12

Fascinating the way the comments from women who have lost their mums have not been commented on! Mine died 21 years ago, and I still would love to be able to ask her for advice, or just have a chat.

Issymum · 05/12/2006 10:19

I adore my mother, see alot of her and would miss her very much if she wasn't around. But she's not the most .....sensible person. Not nearly as sensible as MI or Binkie or Anchovy or Blu or Jura or FoxinSocks or Soapbox or PPH or Cod or..... Also we have very different experiences of being a parent: she was an SAHM when we were young and then took on part-time jobs that fitted around school and she and my father had very traditional roles within the family; I'm a full-time WOHM, the main breadwinner and DH and I share parenting pretty much equally. Not all mother-daughter relationships follow traditional patterns!

BaileysMilkshake · 05/12/2006 11:04

Hmm - I dont have a mum anymore but she was always my first port of call - and I think I would use both her and MN if she had still been around.

However I have to disagree about the opening comment MN is not less judgemental! I have lurked on and taken part in some very aggressive threads with people who read others questions, which they obviously are concerned about) and start thier post with 'FFS' or similar.

Of course I realise there are those threads that are just started to provoke reaction as well!

wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons · 05/12/2006 11:08

Hmm I too wondered about the "less judgemental" thing - although I have to say that my Mum is as judgemental as they come - and could probably give Xenia or DC a run for their money. I don't think I ask her advice much. But I do find myself giving out advice - to my sister, SIL, friends who have children who are younger than mine quite often. And half the time that is advice I have gleaned from on here.

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