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For those whose 'home improvements' were unfinished when baby was born - please reassure me that it won't be awful!

18 replies

cupcakes · 02/12/2006 14:14

We had the builders in months and months ago. The extension is finished but everything inside is a mess. We have been waiting for the plumber to come for a month now (he promises next week ) and he has a lot to do.
We are having a new central heating system which is in place but needs plumbing in.
He needs to fit a new water tank in ds's room.
Lay several pipes in the floor for gas and water.
Disconnect old boiler and plumb in new one (complicated model which he hasn't done before)
Replace several taps, remove a radiator and replace another.

The electrician also two days of work to do but I think that's fairly straightforward.

Then dh has to lay all the wooden floor in the new extension and the slate floor in the kitchen...

The plumber ummed and ahhed when I asked if his part would be finished in three weeks (am due 21st December) so I am not very confident.

Have given up hope that it will be finished by then and am just trying to tell myself that it will be bearable with a new baby. Had planned to spend the last few months of pregnancy tidying and sorting the house out and now it's just a big fat mess. We also have a dog who adds to the mess and the garden is a mess of mud since the builders finished.

Am getting increasingly stressed by everything and hope I can find reassurance here that IT WILL BE OK!.

Please??

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tissy · 02/12/2006 14:20

I have vivid memories of the HV coming to see me a day or two after discharge from hospital. Our heating had broken down, and I was in bed in our bedroom, which had a HUGE hole in the floor, and the wallpaper had been stripped, but not yet replaced. There were holes in the plaster from where we had literally ripped out the nasty fitted wardrobe. It was January, so i was swathed in blankets- she must have thought we were VERY poor!

cupcakes · 02/12/2006 14:30

At least our sitting room is useable and my bedroom is fine too. I could easily hide away in there but I have to get up and look after ds and dd too.

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BettySpaghetti · 02/12/2006 14:32

We've found ourselves in this situation too, not once but twice.

With DD, as I left for hospital the plasterer arrived to do our living room. With DS we'd just built a 2 storey extension -the basics were done but again no plastering and complete chaos.

I spent the first couple of weeks apologising to the stream of Gps, midwives, HVs etc who visited for the chaos. TBH they didn't seem to bat an eyelid but I was .

What I would say is make sure you have places you can escape to for a bit of peace, quiet or sanity if needs be (friends, family etc) and also thank your lucky stars babies are not mobile! Can you imagine a toddler in amonst the current chaos?!

BettySpaghetti · 02/12/2006 14:32

now you're going to tell me you have a toddler too aren't you!

cupcakes · 02/12/2006 14:34

ds is 6 and dd is 3 - she has nursery in the afternoons though. No toddler anymore...

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BettySpaghetti · 02/12/2006 14:41

In that case compile a list now of places to go, things to do. I found that quite often the work going on at home on certain days meant that it was easier to be out of the house (with newborn DS and 4 yr old DD) for a few hours or the whole day. Also you can sometimes find yourself wondering if the mess will ever end so you need to get away.

Its good to have a list of things you can just glance at and think "Yes lets go to X". We used to go to softplay places, park (but it was the summer), wander round garden centres that had fish, animals and birds and then the cafe for cake etc.

cupcakes · 02/12/2006 14:45

that's a good idea - I think I'll be hanging out in coffee shops and library just to avoid the mess.

Was the reality of living amidst it all not as bad as you might have feared beforehand?

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BettySpaghetti · 02/12/2006 14:54

I would say that it wasn't as bad as I might have feared beforehand, after all I can smile about it now !

The one thing that used to drive me mad (and still does as ours is an on-going renovation project years later!)was the dust. Never ending! But what didn't help was that the central core of the house was being worked on so it radiated out to every room.

As long as the work is continuing and you can see progress each day/week then theres light at the end of the tunnel. You can then look forward to it being finished and plan the finer details of colour schemes and soft-furnishings .

If you want some words of encouragement or support when you're going through it feel free to shout for me!

cupcakes · 02/12/2006 15:05

thanks
At least the major dust part is finshed.

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dmo · 02/12/2006 15:24

just had our shower plumbed in
its only took 18mths but its done now

still got all the woodwork to sand and paint

paulaplumpbottom · 02/12/2006 17:51

We were building our house when I fell pregnant. We brought my daughter home literaly to half a house. I fretted about it the whole time I was pregnant, but when we got her home it wasn't as bad as I thought. You just get on with it.

Mirage · 02/12/2006 19:45

I moved into a wreck of a house when dd2 was 3 weeks old & dd1 18 months.It had a roof & all the basics,but it hadn't been touched for 30 years & the kitchen & bathroom were falling off the walls.

18 months on,we have only got as far as rwwiring & stripping wallpaper.It is frustrating,but after a while you don't seem to see the dereliction so much.

Good luck.

trixymalixy · 02/12/2006 19:46

cupcakes,

We're probably going to be in a similare position to you when our baby is born and I'm feeling equally stressed about it.

I just try to de-stress myself by thinking about my SIL who had a home birth in a house that was semi-rewired and had no bathroom to speak of.

Everything was OK for her and my DN so I'm sure it will be OK for you.

Plumbers are the pits, why can't they just turn up when they say they will!!!

whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 02/12/2006 20:13

i had a similar situation, i just couldn't get the builders to work any faster, they didn't have a conscience at all that a job they said would take 3 months took 6. in fact, dd is going to be one soon and there are still bits of finishing needing doing...

my advice would be to make sure that your bedroom is a haven, exactly as you want it to be.
and clean as much as you can now, presumably the worst is over in terms of plaster dust and given that it's the most vile substance known to man you should try and get rid of it every day. i know it only builds up again, but it's worth it.

we are a year on from it... it was okay at the time. could have been better but there you go...

cupcakes · 03/12/2006 11:22

I think I'm being overly anxious about it as it gives me something to direct all my pre-birth nerves on.
Am going to focus on making bedroom and sitting room immaculate in the next week.

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paulaplumpbottom · 03/12/2006 11:36

that sounds more constructive than worrying about it. It'll be fine. You'll see.

cupcakes · 03/12/2006 11:41
Smile
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cupcakes · 04/12/2006 12:38

What a surprise. Electrician and plumber now saying they'll be here Thursday...

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