who gets told what from hospital

[perthcookie]

Hi all, basically my dad is in hospital, since April and needs to go into care when guardianship is sorted. Myself and other 2 siblings, who don't do much, all live away. My dads siblings visit and my sister has told the hospital not to give anyone but us any information regarding dad. My brother thinks dads siblings should be told what is going on. and I am stuck in the middle, seeing it from both sides. Any sage advice out there....

Why has your sister said that they shouldn't be informed? Is it a case of them making the situation worse or is it that she likes to be in control?

Who will be your father's guardian when it is all sorted?

I think you need to decide how confrontational the whole situation is to become.
From the hospital's point of view, it is very useful if information can be given to one family member who then passes it on to everybody else rather than having the same conversation repeatedly.

So you, your brother and sister don't/can't do much or visit regularly? Why can't your dad's siblings be kept in the loop, what's the background?

Background. My dad is a drinker and has been for 40 years, when.mother left him and went to live 800 miles away. Granny took us 3 in. Eventually dad came to as he lost the house. Dad had a very bad stroke nearly 8'years ago. After hitting the drink when he eventually got out off hospital, he turned his life around. Got a wee house, got it nice, fought the effects of stroke, but eventually turned back too drink. Lots off falls, stays in hospital, dry spells he fell in April, short story

Oops we were told he had 3-10 days to live. He's still going. Needs 24hr care. Some of his siblings didn't agree with that, were telling him, tell them you want to go home to your house not a home. You should see what they are doing to your house, etc. 5 weeks ago, dad started with diarrhea.... Test cant find anything, think my sister, and part of me to be honest, felt that if there was something serious wrong we should be informed and then pass it on.
i have always kept siblings in the loop.

So dad still has capacity to make his own decisions. What does he want? I'm sorry your going through this tough time and I do understand.

Really sorry you are going through this

From my experience, hospitals are only permitted to give details of the patient to next of kin. If you (& your siblings) are next of kin, then it should be at your discretion if any information is passed on.

Hi dad unfortunately hasn't got capacity anymore.

I think it is an individual thing, as in how you see the family unit. My brother thinks that if I were in hospital that he would and should be told from the dr what was wrong. And not from my direct family, husband and daughter.

Has his capacity been formally assessed?
If he does NOT have capacity, he should be an Adult with Incapacity and you (or whoever decides to apply for it) can make a request for guardianship.
Capacity is 'task specific' i.e. he may well be able to decide what he would like for breakfast but cannot make decisions about his welfare or financances (or both).
I don't suppose he has granted Power of Attorney when he was still able to?

What an awfully difficult situation to be in, I am sorry you all have to be dealing with this.

IME the key thing is that all interested parties are able to get on with each other and speak to each other. Nicely.

From a purely practical (not legal) point of view the hospital will prefer to have one point of contact, not several.