what would you do......

[snipersmum]

if a friend told you she was considering having an affair? This happened to me this morning, at school drop off. She is married, has a 2 year old boy and has just had an ectopic pregnancy, so is not in the most sturdy frame of mind. She is meeting me tomorrow and says she wants some advice..... any ideas anyone?

she is obviously not happy..either within herself or her relationship..maybe things have deteriorated after the ectopic and feels her DH is not supporting her....it is very complex...and maybe all you can do is listen....the fact she is talking to you first means she is not thinking this is the best course of action..but doesn;t know what else to do?

I would make my position clear if this was me and my friend. I wouldn't cover for her, I wouldn't want to hear about it and I think it is a really bad and stupid idea.

good point..., i would not want to be involved in any cover up or deceit!

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In the past I've found if I express my disagreement on the matter all it does is stop the friend from confiding in me, it doesn't stop them from going ahead with the affair.
If someone's going to have an affair they will, whether a friend supports the decision or not. Lets face it, when you meet someone and fall for them, nothing logical ever follows. They are the bee's knees no matter what anyone says, and it's only after the intial excitement fades that you realise that they are actually human with bad breath and poor tastes in clothes.... etc.

My take on this is to just be a friend - listen, only give an opinion when asked, don't judge or express disgust or warnings of impending doom....then be there for her when it all turns sour. No point in distancing yourself because it goes against the grain, because then when a friend needs you she daren't come to you.

Thanks everyone - to ginnedupmummy, I don't know her DH well, but he works with mine, so already I am in a difficult position. I would love to tell her because of that not to talk to me about it, but I know that at least I can keep my mouth shut, whereas if she speaks to others in the group, I am sure it will get out v quickly as everything else seems to.

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