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Original poster

I was just disgusted by this mum's behaviour today

33 replies

emkana · 18/11/2006 23:18

Dd1 went to a party today, in a leisure centre - they just had a bit of equipment out and the children basically had a run around. A guy who worked there was supervising them and playing with them a bit, and suggesting things to do.

One of the mums had seen this guy at the leisure centre before and had noticed that all the children and teenagers at the time had come up to this guy and had talked to him and knew his name etc.

This mum now said about this guy that in her opinion he looked what you would imagine a paedophile would look like.
While the party was going on this mum kept telling her children to keep away from this man, and not to go near him.
On what evidence??????? It was awful, it really was. Her one ds even went up to the man and said "I must stay away from you."
This mum got all worried and uptight just because this man was taking the children by the hands so that they could fall backwards onto the inflatable. And because he picked them up to lift them onto the inflatable. WTF?

Honestly I was stunned and didn't know what to say.

OP posts:
lockets · 18/11/2006 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nearlythree · 18/11/2006 23:22

It's really sad, isn't it? Her children are going to grow up absolutely terrified of men.

Original poster
emkana · 18/11/2006 23:22

Exactly.

I think because in her mind he was potentially a paedophile (WHY???) she couldn't even bear the thought of her children being touched by him.

OP posts:
Skribble · 18/11/2006 23:22

Its a wonder any men go in to childcare professions at all.

Blondilocks · 18/11/2006 23:22

That's awful. Had she not considered the fact that he might run clubs/parties that those teenagers/children attend?

Aren't people in leisure centres checked out as ok for working with or around children?

Saturn74 · 18/11/2006 23:23

What bizarre behaviour! Did anyone speak to her about it?

Am I right in thinking it was not the mother of the 'birthday child'?

lockets · 18/11/2006 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Skribble · 18/11/2006 23:23

I once heard a mum telling her child to behave in a shop or the security man would take him away and do bad things to him. WTF???

WHo will the child go to if they are lost?

lulumama · 18/11/2006 23:24

that is shocking emkana.....

i agree with alerting our children to stranger danger..but a man in a leisure centre is most likeyl to have CRB clearance, no? how bizzarre.....

lulumama · 18/11/2006 23:24

that is shocking emkana.....

i agree with alerting our children to stranger danger..but a man in a leisure centre is most likeyl to have CRB clearance, no? how bizzarre.....

handlemecarefully · 18/11/2006 23:26

This woman has a screw loose - it's awfully sad really

Miaou · 18/11/2006 23:27

That is just so sad. What kind of message is she giving out to those kids?

CountTo10LordsaLeaping · 18/11/2006 23:30

It is going too far. I know you have to be careful about these things but if you're going to take that attitude then really you're children are never going to be able to interact with any adult men outside of their own family - so how are they going to go to school/after school groups etc - surely its the same as a PE teacher?

lornaloo · 18/11/2006 23:33

Poor man. He must have felt so awkward. Feel abit sorry for that mum too if she feels that insecure. How can you say "he looked what you would imagine a paedophile would looklike" What the hell does a paedophile look like? Totally irrational if you ask me.

nearlythree · 18/11/2006 23:46

I wonder if she has an anxiety disorder? Certainly sounds like it.

christie1 · 19/11/2006 07:05

sounds like she may have been hurt in her past. The sad thing is that by so protecting them, she is actually increasing their risk because they are not learning what I try to teach my kids to listen to that little voice that alerts them to danger. And that can only be done by interacting. This sounds like a good enviroment for kdis to interact wtih a male stranger but mom is stil there to watch and help them sort out the difference between friendly and dangerous.

Fattymumma · 19/11/2006 12:45

someone shoudl explain to her that peadophiles dont have a "look" they look just like anyone else.
from smart business men to young fashionable lads to dirty old men who smell a bit.

if it were me i would have said "yes and you look just like what i imagine a biggot would look lilke"

NannyStarOfBethlehem · 19/11/2006 16:17

OMG, that is totally ridiculous! Poor man and poor kids. I have worked with men in nurseries who have been incredibly up close with children, e.g. changing their nappies, cuddling the children, lots of physical contact because that is what most children like and none of the mums have ever thought anything of it.

MummyPig · 19/11/2006 16:24

It's really sad. My dad was a nursery teacher and I think he came across a lot of suspicion. I also heard a friend saying something similar about a man who sings on lots of children's CDs. Isn't he allowed to make music for children, just because he is a man?

The nursery my ds1 used to go to had one man who worked there and I was really pleased that there was at least one male role model in the nursery for them. But I'm not surprised there are so few around, if that's the kind of attitude they come across.

I may be completely wrong, but I think you can often tell if someone's motives are dodgy - for example, I was always suspicious of the man who ran the youth group in my sister's church - but it doesn't sound as if the man you mention was doing anything wrong. And how on earth could she tell he 'looked like a paedophile' ffs?

marymillington · 19/11/2006 16:25

i think she's got issues

geekgrrl · 19/11/2006 16:35

oh ffs. she's obviously bonkers.

poor bloke!

ameli · 23/11/2006 22:29

i think shes out of order, but crb checks are not gospel.

themoon66 · 23/11/2006 23:47

What a sad world we have. I do worry that girls will grow up unable to trust any man, and boys will grow up thinking they are guilty of 'something' merely by being male. [shakes head with sadness emoticon]

VeniVidiVickiQV · 23/11/2006 23:54

Ah, she sounds like the woman he served me in Abbey National once.

There was a man being served a bit further down and because he spoke a bit funny, and looked "different" that he MUST have been a paedophile.

Oh, and also that there are lots "like him" that come in and our borough is "full of them".

It was a unique retail experience, I must say.

threebob · 24/11/2006 00:04

My dad was pulling the car into the local park, and there was a man next to bike having a rest before going on.

The park was deserted and dad said "it's probably because of the pervert with the bike".

My mum told him to shut up and he said he had his windows up and so the man couldn't hear him. My mum pointed out that ds could hear him.