CAFCASS advice needed

[elfsmum]

Hi this is for a male friend, he and his wife split over a year ago and they have shared access to their children, I've only got one half of the story (his) but he says that the children are having nightmares when they are due to go back to mum, scream and hang on to him so that they don't have to go and he wants full time custody.

they are back and forth to court, she is a social worker, he says cafcass will get involved but don't have any officers available to help.

he is desperately looking to help his children, I've not been in this situation so don't know what to advise - can anyone help ?

In my experience you usually see the cafcass officer at the court before you go into see the judge, the idea is that hopefully both parties can come to some sort of arrangement without the need for the court to decide for you. This only works though if there is a possible comprimise. If this is a good idea then it is possible to call relate and arrange your own appointment with a mediator and delay court until after the meeting.

they have had meetings, from what I can make out she's using the children to hurt him rather than doing what's best for them, she has insisted on him having no contact at all when she has the children, but has then gone out and been incapable of taking them to school the next day and then called him to do it.

when they have met in mediation her behaviour doesn't seem to get mentioned, as I say I've only got his side of the story, he tells me there is a cafcas officer at school - is this true ? as he says he only has the teachers to talk to the children to find out how they are etc - they range in age with the youngest at 7

is there anywhere else he can go for advice ? his solicitor doesn't seem to be too good, gets whoever is on duty on the day, doesn't seem to have continuity which is why her behaviour goes unmentioned as they're not fully up to speed on the case iyswim

It sounds like he could do with a new solicitor, post your area on here and see if anyone can reccomend one? Not heard of them in schools, what i do know is that you are not allowed to interrupt or speak over each other so he should be able to give his opinion on her behavior and say what he expects from her going forward.

It sounds like he could do with a new solicitor, post your area on here and see if anyone can reccomend one? Not heard of them in schools, what i do know is that you are not allowed to interrupt or speak over each other so he should be able to give his opinion on her behavior and say what he expects from her going forward.

The nightmares thing is a ridiculous justification for custody (if that's what it is - I'm only going on the implication).

The nightmares and clinging on are surely more likely to do with the battle for residency and the general upset and unsettledness that surrounds them.

Better to come to a good solid arrangement over care, accept that leaving one parent to go to the other will always be difficult and be adult about it. Nightmares are often a reflection of insecurity in general.

CAFCASS may mediate in order to avoid court but sounds as though things are beyond that. If the reaction of the children isn't enough to make the grown ups sort out their behaviour then I doubt a CAFCASS officer will have much positive influence.