Do you feel subservient to people? are you a strong person?

[Marshmellow]

I feel a bit all over the place at the moment. I seem to spend my life subservient to people, adapting myself to fit in with different people in a bid to be popular. Do you care if you are popular or not? I worry tremendously about how i come across, do i appear weak and i just feel so shit and basically lost. My dds are at school and nursery now and i feel very lonely, tearful and have a dreadful self image. I want to be confident, happy with myself and generally feel happy again. I get so cross with myself for not being stronger and then this starts the whole cycle again of poor image etc etc. Can anyone please tell me how its done? I am just so miserable.

I did one of those "what kind of person" psycholoy tests. Turns out I'm a "facilitator" and "empathic" (translation - doormat, anything for a quiet life). I don't care if I'm "popular" or not, just as long as DH & DS and my family love me, that's enough cos at the end of the day they are the ones that matter to me.
I WILL take a certain amount of crap, muttering under my breath etc BUT when I blow, I go Mount St Helens over everything and people know they've crossed that line.
Next time you're with people try saying you DON'T like something they do because (whatever), but you DO like this thing instead, what do they think? (Don't go for a MN nightmare topic life bf v ff )

Oh definitely not!! I am just so pissed off that people feel they can walk over me. My husband is such a strong person and i feel on the side lines alot wishing i had his strength of character. I have recently also starting suffering from panic attacks and feel totally miserable, shit at everything and to top it all off i want another baby and my husband doesn't. I just feel so desperately alone, pointless and useless

I think people would class me as strong but its not something that came naturally as I'm really shy.

This is going to sound completely new age but theres a woman I really admire who I used to work with. Any time I feel like I'm not putting myself across well or that I'm not taking a strong role then I ask myself how she'd behave and that sort of tells me what to do. Used to need to do that a lot now its a rarer thing, maybe its like building up a muscle or something, once you stand up for yourself once you don't find it so hard to do it again. Also I walk through the situation in myt mind and think what the worst case scenario would be, then I feel I'm prepared and it never ever is as bad as your worst fears so it feels easier.

Also I was once told that I wouldn't like everyone so shouldn't worry if not everyone likes me.