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Original poster

i need your advice please :o(

40 replies

whymummy · 03/05/2004 20:50

i really need some advice on this one
ds and dd went upstairs to watch a video while i cooked dinner only they went to our bedroom first and they found a video tape(no case or label)in dh's wardrobe and started to watch it,next thing i know is dd coming into the kitchen laughing and saying that i girl was licking a willy(!!!!!)i ran upstairs and yes,you've guessed it they were watching a porno movie i was so shocked i bursted into tears and then went ballistic at dh,the kids were upset and couldn't understand what had happened.i can't stop crying and i feel as if part of their innocence has gone(they're 6 and nearly 4) what do i do now?(apart from strangling dh)do i talk to the children about it and make sure they don't tell friends,teachers and grandparents or do i just leave it and pray that they'll forget?i didn't handle the situation very well and now i don't know what to do
any advice would be nice,thanks

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Original poster
whymummy · 03/05/2004 21:44

thanks eddm i hope the same happen to ds and dd
coddy i very rarely loose my temper but he's in for some serious trouble and I'M SLEEPING ON THE SOFA FROM NOW ON!!!!!!!!

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Codswallop · 03/05/2004 21:45

bollox to that wm - shove him out!
how have you let him escpae to bed? go and shove him out

Codswallop · 03/05/2004 21:46

lol at " love session"

Original poster
whymummy · 03/05/2004 21:47

that's the thing sexgoddess i could explain love making but oral sex,oh lord

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Levanna · 03/05/2004 22:23

Hi whymummy, I think it was not so much what we saw (the whole shabang! penetrative, oral, anal....) but how it was dealt with. Loads of ranting and no talking. It really was brushed under the carpet, so we never had a chance to satisfy our inquisitive wee minds as to what the hell was going on! Ended up with an overactive interest (in the inquisitive sense!) in all things sexual, then feeling dirty for this for years.
These days, no, there's no lasting effect (I'm pregnant, rampant and enjoying it !!) but it wasn't until quite recently that I absolved the 'dirty' feelings.
HTH rather than hinders .

Levanna · 03/05/2004 22:24

....sorry, not clear! The immediate reaction was ranting, then it was never mentioned following that.....

ks · 03/05/2004 22:30

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Original poster
whymummy · 03/05/2004 22:52

thanks levanna it does help.
ks i did think about not saying anything but the thought of them telling others just terrifies me,dd has the memory of an elephant and i know it'll come out sooner or later like after not seeing their grandparents for 6 months ds went and told them about a swear word dh had said 4 months ealier,i could handle the in-laws but not the teachers or mums coming to me asking why is ds or dd talking about oral sex to their kids(gulp).did your ds asked you about that incident or told anyone?

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moodyzebra · 03/05/2004 23:04

I think you would just have to tell the truth about what happened, WhyM. Embarrassing, but there's far worse out there. I don't think it will scar your kids for life, but I go with what WWW said, too.

You're reminding me, though... DH has some annoying porn that pops up on his computer when he fires up Netscape (or is it IE, or both?). I don't really want the kids to see it, either. DH is saying he'll reinstall the OS, if necessary.

ks · 03/05/2004 23:08

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Original poster
whymummy · 03/05/2004 23:26

thanks ks and everyone that took the time to help i really appretiate it

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Codswallop · 04/05/2004 11:25

ok so wat happened and I hope you were in thebed!

moula · 04/05/2004 12:07

Not so innocent if they know the words for what they saw!! Probably to them it is ok and abit exciting anyway .. especially when they just laughed. Its abit like the masturbation issue being taboo. IMHO it makes it worse if you hide sex as being bad, that is how they were made after all. Not that I support porn in any shape or fashion

The first naked people I saw on video were my parents. whoops.. not porn - but a shock non the less, watched about 10 seconds and got such a fright that I put the video back in the place I found it.

But it did not case me long term problems and I found out once we were adults that both my brother and sister had seen it as well.

Sex is normal though and I was always abit fascinated when I saw adult pictures when young. By teenage years though when a cousin played some porn, I was so not interested. Probably more of a boy fascination by then anyhow.
If my child was watching porn on a subversive, regular basis then I would be very concerned.

Original poster
whymummy · 04/05/2004 12:24

cod i didn't see dh this morning so no news on that yet,he usually walks around the house like a rhinocerous but this morning he was as quite as a mouse,i wonder why
moula they are very innocent dd used the words licking and willy not blow job otherwise i would have passed out,i don't let them think that sex is dirty is just a subject that we haven't discussed yet as they're so young but i will when they ask,i didn't say anything to them this morning but i did asked them on the way to school what they were thinking about(i held my breath)but they just said they were thinking about school and dd's birthday so maybe they have forgotten already,who knows,i will answer their questions though if they mention anything

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Codswallop · 04/05/2004 12:28

good

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