help ! - moral dilemma for the mumsnet jury..[smile]

[iris66]

DD turned 18 on Friday and was given a lovely pair of expensive gold earrings by a very dear friend who we don't see that often. Trouble is that she doesn't have pierced ears and has no intention of getting them done.

DD wants to thank her for them (tried to ring last night but she was out) but feels it would be rude to say that she can't wear the earrings but also rude not to. I haven't a clue how to help her out on this one. Any ideas???

bump?

Thank definitely and don't mention lack of pierced ears. She might change her mind one day anyway. You can't return and exchange earrings so no point telling friend really, esp as you don't see her often.

won't she notice when she does see her? won't she look in her ears thinking, wonder if she's wearing her earrings, and then realise?

I don't really think it's sensible to buy people earrings for pierced ears without asking; I never had my ears pierced and I did actually send back a present from someone because of this

it's going to come out eventually

Message withdrawn

Kbear - good point about not being able to exchange them, I'd not thought of that. Probably best to keep quiet then about the lack of piercings. Thanks

Cappuccino - that was my point - she is going to notice and I'm worried she might be more offended by not being told (oooh all confused now )

I don't think she'd be annoyed at not being told. She might be embarrassed that she gave a present your dd couldn't use but I think she'd appreciate your dd's good manners in thanking her and not mentioning it.

Cliche alert: but it's the thought that counts.

What about thanking her and saying she loves them and altough ears aren't currently pierced will keep them for the future as she palns too?
Then hope she forgets or keep making excuse why haven't i.e waiting til 21?

Actually just thought that through better!
She'll probably keep buying earrings then!

If she thinks she's likely to wear them, why not take the earrings to a good jeweler and see whether they can be modified as clip-ons?

Definitely agree with the thankyou without mentioning the 'problem'.

can she just write a letter, saying, " thank you for the beautiful earrings- i was touched by your thoughfulness" or something along those lines? Then put them away safely. if friend notices that ears aren't pierced, say that you "haven't got round to getting them adapted as clip-ons yet

Wow - so many posts!! (sorry I didn't get back sooner) I've showed them to DD and she's really impressed
She's going to put the earrings away and write a thankyou note but not mention the fact that she's not got pierced ears.

Thanks ever so much everyone - embarrassment now neatly avoided.