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Original poster

Am I wrong to want a break without kids

21 replies

Rae1973 · 02/05/2004 10:21

Hiya All,

Just thought that I would test the waters with this one.

I've been invited away for a few days to stay with a good friend, I really want to go but wonder if it is unfair of me to want to go without the children.

I have had a relapse with PND and generally been having a hard time of things and feel a break would do me the world of good. The relationship between dh is great and is ok about me going.

I also want to leave dh with the two children as he has NEVER had them both for 24 hours and therefore can't understand why I get so stressed after having them all day an night.

I will only be away 4 nights maximum and will be phoning them during the day, they can also ring me whenever they want.

OP posts:
smellymelly · 02/05/2004 10:24

I think it sounds like a fantastic idea... it'll give you a break, and you will probably go home relaxed and refreshed!!

wobblyknicks · 02/05/2004 10:25

I don't think its unfair at all (cruel mummy that I am!). You need a bit of a break now and then - and it will do your DH good to see what you have to deal with. Just go, don't feel guilty and get some r&r - enjoy it while you can.

noddy5 · 02/05/2004 10:25

no you are probably in need of a break.It might just be enough to get back on track quicker

coppertop · 02/05/2004 10:26

It sounds like a good idea to me. I love my ds's but it doesn't mean that I don't need a bit of space now and then. There is the added bonus that your dh will find out just what is involved in looking after the kids and perhaps be a bit more understanding. You will come back feeling refreshed and that has got to be a good thing for your children, hasn't it?

Mermaid2 · 02/05/2004 10:28

Everyone deserves a break and think how relaxed and refreshed you'd be on your return. Better for you and them.

WideWebWitch · 02/05/2004 10:32

Of COURSE you should go! Enjoy!

hercules · 02/05/2004 10:39

Go and enjoy!!

Janstar · 02/05/2004 10:46

Go!!

With a bit of luck your family will still be alive when you come back . What is more your dh will finally 'get it'.

Have a great time.

MissChief · 02/05/2004 10:51

Go, go, go!

Slinky · 02/05/2004 10:52

Yes, go!!! You'll have a fab time and come back feeling refreshed and relaxed

I've had a couple of weekends on my own (no DH and kids) but we've had plenty together minus the kids The kids don't miss us at all as they get thoroughly spoilt by whoevers looking after them (usually my mum, but my brother and SIL take them out for a few hours to give my mum a break).

In fact, booked another weekend away online last night - DH's birthday end of May, so have booked a weekend stay in London complete with tickets to see "Red Hot Chilli Peppers" in Hyde Park (DH's fave).

I'm absolutely useless at keeping secrets so I'm having to bite my tongue a lot today

Original poster
Rae1973 · 02/05/2004 11:38

Looks like I'm going away for a short while then

I'm going to starting taking bets though on how long it is before he phones his mother and sister, I think he will probably leave the kids at his mothers and spend the whole weekend paralytic with his mate, which is really defeating the whole object.

Oh well, at least I get a well earned break.

OP posts:
wobblyknicks · 02/05/2004 11:51

rae - lol, at least it would prove he can't cope without you!!!

You go and have a really good time, you deserve it.

Beetroot · 02/05/2004 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WSM · 02/05/2004 13:36

Do it. It sounds like you really need it. Try not to feel guilty, we all need a break sometimes. It'll do you the power of good.

Get your ticket booked, Girl !!!

Wills · 02/05/2004 14:28

Each year I try to go away with just dh and I. dd1 is 4 and so far we've managed it only twice. The first time I went I was wracked with guilt for weeks before hand. However it did my marriage and myself no end of good. The second time I still felt guilty before but once away although I thought of my daughter regularly and bought her tonnes of things nevertheless it was simply bliss to be away for just a short period. I think its a good thing to do. It allows you time to regroup and will allow your children to have a long period of time with your dh which will also be good for them and him. When/if you go away try not to feel guilty. You will be thinking about the kids but try to think things like "this year this is the only sure time I will have for myself so I'm GOING to enjoy it".

Have fun

Wills · 02/05/2004 14:30

Opps - meant to say that both times I've missed my daughter far more than she's missed me as she gets spoilt rotten by my Mum with whom she stays. This year I'm contemplating a whole 7 nights as I desperately would like to go to Egypt but would not want to take the girls for a few years yet. I'm confident that both the girls would be absolutely fine for 7 nights - however I'm not sure how we would be

KateandtheGirls · 02/05/2004 14:35

No, you are not wrong at all. Kids are so demanding and it's so exhausting. You've got your dh there - do it!

I'm a single parent, and as my family all still lives in England (I'm in the US) I rarely get a break. I do hire babysitters sometimes so I can go out in the evening, or just to go shopping by myself, but every morning at 6am I'm the only one there.

My Dad was recently visiting, so I made the most of it and went by myself to a hotel on the beach. It was only one night, but it was just what I needed, and I've been much better equipped to deal with the constant "mummy, mumy, mummy" since.

Go, and enjoy it!

Original poster
Rae1973 · 03/05/2004 16:07

WELL, thank you very very much for your bits of advice and everything, I have booked my ticket today with national express and go away on Friday 30th July until Monday 2nd August.

Really really looking forward to it, but also dreading it as I've never left them all for so long, especially to go off and have fun.

OP posts:
Nutcracker · 03/05/2004 16:59

I would love to have a weekend away from the kids.
The only times i have been away was when i was in hospital having the others.

Me and dp could really do with a weekend away together but finding someone to look after 3 kids is impossible.

Nutcracker · 03/05/2004 16:59

Sorry meant to say, have a lovely time Rae

jasper · 03/05/2004 20:36

Not wrong at all.
I am leaving my three(5,3,& 2) on Friday to go to Canada for a week. It can't come soon enough and I feel not a jot of guilt.

You go and enjoy yourself

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