keep getting horrible visions of .......................

[melsy]

Nasty things happening to dd2 and dd1 , Ive had severe PTSD before , so IM worried that its coming back or at least theres one aspect of it that doesnt seem to have been healed.

My mum says its very normal with having another newborn to be acutely aware of our mortality , but IM not were normal goes into overdrive. I keep seeing terrible terrible things flashing through my mind and having thoughts of dying,which is freaking me out a bit.

My file with the mental health team on the NHS is open till feb , but I keep missing the day that my physchologist is at the practise that I see her in . The onyl thing is that she did a therapy on me that made me more ditressed (EMDR) and the one therapy that has worked for other aspecst of the PTSD (EFT) is with my hypnobirthing women who I have to pay for. Althugh shes offered to help me pn the phone , as I working with her on an article abiut hypnobirthing. I just feel its cheeky to ask her for help.

I wasnt sure if it was a real problem , but as Im typing my stomachs going and Im getting a lump in my throat.

Bump for you.

How old is your youngest? I had this, mildly, until my youngest was a few months old.

Hi melsy, I'm sorry you're having these upsetting feelings. I understand how you feel, when I'm anxious I have nightmares.

Why do you feel cheeky asking this person for help? tbh I didn't really understand your third paragraph, too many abbs for me and terms I'm not familiar with.

If you're helping her with an article surely she owes you a favour? If not then can you not pay her? What about NHS funding for a course of therapy?

Melsy... i had this when i had severe PND........i used to think if i wasn't with DS , harm would come to him...which made leaving him at nursery or even with DH VERY hard........

i think that the maternal instinct to protect our babies goes into overdrive when we are depressed for some reason.... i had DD 15 months ago, no recurrence of PND...and i do have the odd time where i jsut think something awful will happen to her... i think that is perfectly normal

if you are getting anxious typing this or thinking about it, it suggests you are certainly more anxious than is usual.....

are you taking any meds at the moment..

i think you have hit the nail on the head yourself.... one aspect of the PTSD that hasn't healed..

can you get counselling from elsewhere?

I get these, very often. Dd said to me yesterday that sometimes she has a horrible feeling in her tummy that something horrible is going to happen to her. I think it shows an over-sensitive nature.

I often check on mine in the middle of the night just to make sure that they are still alive, or I have a desperate urge to rush home from work because I've imagined a gunman shooting dd down at school or something.

I just live with it now, I reason that I've had so many imaginings that haven't come true, so I don't possess telepathy or anything like that, just an overactive imagination. Funny, but before they came along, I had these imaginings about dh, I've been to his funeral many many times! Before I met him it was my little brother.

So you see, I've lived with this a long time. I've no answers for you, I just want you to know that you're not alone.

awwwwwww hi anorak , how are you , or is that a silly question

Thank you everyone else for coming on here.

lifted from websites :

EMDR = EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It was discovered by Francine Shapiro, Ph.D., in 1987. We're not sure why it works, but it does. Simply by providing side-to-side sensations to a person while discussing traumatic events in a specific therapeutic fashion can work wonders in allowing the person to heal himself or herself.

EFT = Emotional Freedom Techniques EFT is a new discovery that has provided thousands with relief from pain, diseases and emotional issues. Simply stated, it is a unique version of acupuncture except you don't use needles. Instead, you stimulate well established energy meridian points on your body by tapping on them with your fingertips. The process is easy to memorize and is portable so you can do it anywhere

I suppose I could just phone her and see how she responds to me talking of these feelings.

As rhubarb said , its good to know how others experience these things.

I've got a rough idea what you mean now melsy, I saw a friend this week who told me that her back pain problem had eased loads since she started seeing a therapist in St Albans recently. She says this lady uses a mixture of all different kinds of therapies to help all kinds of problems. Some of the things my friend mentioned were this tapping thing, and aligning her eyes. The therapist also got her to talk about her emotional issues because she thought they were making her back worse.

I could get her number off my friend if you like.

Thats ok anorak , it sounds very much like the lady I see here. Thank you though.

Im just getting worried that theses feelings / thoughts are going into overdrive. Am I doing this to myself though? Can i control it at all by talking to myself. DH isnt helping , thinks im bringing it on. Im afraid to talk about it as everyones going to think "oh here we go again ffs".

I cant even read or watch certain thngs again , not a good sign