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Original poster

Ok, how does a 34 SAHM with little self-confidence make new friends?

16 replies

skinnynomates · 09/11/2006 16:15

Currently have a "loose" groups of friends - met when we had our first kids and now hardly ever see each other, except for odd half hour watching kids swim / chat in nursery car park. One of the group I am closer to than others, but she has a tendancy to bitch about all the others behind their backs, and is then as sweet as pie to their faces! Getting a bit fed up of whole situation - I NEED SOME NEW FRIENDS! But how?

Anyone one want to be my friend?

OP posts:

ssd · 09/11/2006 16:21

I'll be your friend!

{but I'm jealous if your skinny!!}

ruty · 09/11/2006 16:22

i've been in the place we live now for 2 years and only now feel like i'm starting to fit in and know people. It does take time. I've learnt to be a bit more forward - if you like someone, ask them to come around for coffee one day, it doesn't matter if you've only met them a couple of times, you have children in common and that can break the ice. It is difficult, and i still feel isolated at times, but it is getting better. Good luck and be bold!

ruty · 09/11/2006 16:23

i met my current friends mostly at the local playground, where we got chatting. You can try toddler groups as well.

Original poster

skinnynomates · 09/11/2006 16:23

Thanks ssd

Not really skinny, but just lost 50lbs with WeightWatchers!

OP posts:

Original poster

skinnynomates · 09/11/2006 16:27

Done the toddler group thing with current friends - dd is 5 & ds 3 and just started nursery so over all that now. That's one of the problems - apart from the school playground I don't really come into contact with other people all day. Just feeling a bit lonely & like I don't have anyone to talk about problems I'm experiencing with current friends.

OP posts:

ruty · 09/11/2006 16:39

i've had threads on similar predicaments re feeling isolated skinny. re the bitchy friend, i would just change the subject if she starts bitching. It depends how much you want to keep the friendship - if you like her, when she starts off, say something like 'no she's not that bad' or, 'I like her actually' and she won't have anything to feed off. Sorry ifi'm just stating the obvious!

ruty · 09/11/2006 16:41

if dd in nursery maybe you could do something for yourself, do some part time work, or take some classes, a language class or a karate class or anything! Good to get out of the house. At my local community centre they so an assortment of classes and they are well attended.

ruty · 09/11/2006 16:41

sorry ds in nursery i mean.

ssd · 09/11/2006 20:53

50 lbs!!

wow thats great!

noonar · 09/11/2006 21:00

I've found that dd1 starting school has opened up lots of doors as far as meeting other mums goes. how about inviting one of dd's friends plus mum over to your place?

sometimes you just need to be a bit pro active and suggest swapping numbers/ having coffee when you meet someone you like. be brave!

Skribble · 09/11/2006 21:53

Classe can be good for meeting people out with mummydom, except I did website design, big mistake, we all sat at our own computers around the wall of the class with no interaction at all. My idea that we would all be great pals and walk arm in arm down to the pub after class was but a dream .ation, group work, feild trips etc. Go for something more sociable that requires interaction.

Bucketsofburntdinosaurs · 09/11/2006 22:52

I've also found DD starting preschool has made me a whole new bunch of acquaintances. Some playground mums who live near us so we always end up walking together and kids are friendly, I had one round for coffee yesterday. Also I volunteered the preschool comittee so apart from the meetings and events, which are quite fun so far, it just gets you more noticed so more people have to smile or say hi.
You have to step away from the wall and make eye contact, it's really hard but if you just put on an act of being jolly and up for anything, you start to become it with practice. By the time they discover you're actually quite shy and neurotic, they're snared! Mwahahahahaha

Bucketsofburntdinosaurs · 09/11/2006 22:53

Ooh Skribble, how much fun would a debating clas be?

all4girlz · 09/11/2006 23:44

what about the pta at the school
i have made some good friends and we help out and organise events and have the odd night too

all4girlz · 09/11/2006 23:46

odd night out lol though was prob right the first time can be good fun and we are helping the school

Skribble · 10/11/2006 15:17

I am terrible at being social at the school gates and avoid the PTA at all costs, at work I have to be really confident and talk to large groups of staff and customers and chat happily to everyone I come across, but as a mum its an other story.

When DD started dancing I decided to do it differently, there is a cafe at the dance school and most mums stay, so I followed the mums out from DD's class and just smiled and sat down at the same table as them, TBH at first I would rather have sat on my own with my head in a book or a mag, but now I love dance nights and miss it if DD is off, took a lot of guts for me but it has paid off, I have even been on a couple of nights out with them.

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