Is there a parent/child at your dc's playgroup whom everybody dislikes?

[bramblina]

Do you just ignore and carry on?
A woman goes to ds's playgroup and has an awful child (2.5yrs) which she has no control over. He throws, pushes, snatches and all he gets is a voice saying "you mustn't push/hit, 'John' it isn't nice" in a similar voice which she would use to ask "would you like milk or juice?" and this dc takes no notice. Occasionally she will use a "naughty area" which said child leaves of own free will and consequently has no idea about discipline.
Today he pushed my ds 3 times for wanting to share (ds is 15months), the 3rd time ds fell against a chair and banged his head, and cried. He wasn't really hurt, just shocked so I made no big deal of it. The 2nd time though I had to tell her as she could see what her child was doing but was doing nothing about it.
Last week he pushed ds twice, once in to a toybox and once against some chairs. He wasn't hurt either time, but that's not quite the point. He also threw some small object towards a boy of 9 months.
Once she leaves everyone rolls their eyes and has quite a few comments. I don't particularly like this but I really don't like how her child behaves. It's going to have some degree of influence as we live in a small community and see each other a few times per week.

What are everyone's experiences of this? Do you ignore it? Hope someone will wallop him back (child)?! Hope he'll grow out of it? He just doesn't seem that sort of child.
My ds has recently become heavy handed and I posted on here, but he's at a different stage- this boy does it on purpose to hurt people.

OK, so it's a stage...I'm happy with that.

I'll ignore, and encourage play. I'm just unexperienced, so please forgive.

Twiglett, this is such a small area we are all friends, no probs talking to her so I'll just maybe try a little harder. Some (most) others don't try at all, and I always feel sorry for the one that's alone, I was a "new" girl once and I know it's never easy, whatever the age.

Colditz, I get you, but I think in this case when the dc just gets up and walks away from "naughty" area, and she does nothing about it, he's never going to get the whole idea. I know parents of children for whom there just seems no answer, but I don't think this is the case here, IMVHO she's not really trying very hard. But tbh that's really her nature, she's very much like that.

Macwoozy, to a certain degree I think this may be true, she is a SAHM and recently registered cm, with no clients as yet, so spending all day with her ds probably is a bit wearing, when my ds has a "bad" day I think to myself how awful it must be for SAHM whose children are often like this. SO I think that's why without fail she's at every playgroup there is in the area.

Fillyjonk, I agree too, if you interfere with the naps, you've had it. And schneebly, for your nephew, but hopefully he'll grow out of it too.

Thanks for your help and advice everyone, hope I don't sound like one of those "perfect" mothers to you, I'm only trying to find out how to best approach. I guess the best way is act as if he were mine, encourage good, ignore bad, and make an effort. Good to know it's prob just a phase.

(see you back here in a year when it's my ds who is acting up...)

pitching in can be bad, too...it makes you even feel even more inadequat and it can make your childs behaviour even worse...been there, done that, got the T-shirt...know it could work,...but be careful...not pitvching in as on playing with teh child and giving attention but punishing them in a group...at the time,all I wanted was fit in and be accepted...regrett not standing up for us/...

Not sure what everyones take on this is but purely responding to the OP, in that situation I would tell the boy off myself (in a firm but nice way). If the mother is not going to do anything about it then I would.

Agree with WCL as far as I'd step in and say 'no' and take whatever it is they are arguing about away/tell them 'no pushing' or whatever.

don't mean pitch in as in disciplining him, btw

just...to give her a bit of a break, be extra vigilant with our own kids, try to play with him in a way that means he's not getting wound up.

ok...