I am fuming at exp, yet again!!

[rickman]

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What a tosser.

Sorry, no constructive advice as I don't have to deal with the csa at all as xp chooses not to work.

I would inform the CSA of what he has told you. You may not be able to prove it, but maybe they can investigate him. He can't hide income, if it is being taxed and not cash in hand.

And I would stay clear of him as much as possible( other than is required by law for his visitation), all he is doing is trying to wind you up.

Surely if he isn't on benefits or something ike that the CSA know he's got money coming from somewhere, so they will deffo investigate the little shit

hi rickman, sorry hes still being such an arse. i had all my emails swiped when a bug got my computer in the summer. as for the csa,they are crap,theyve collected over £1200 of the ex and ihavent got a clue where it is!

Oh 7up had that one from CSA for over a year too. I got onto my MP and they sorted it within a month.

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rickman - I just read everything you said again, and have come to the conclusion that your ex is making empty threats, in order to try to control/bully you into doing things the way he wants them done. Do not fall for it. Sounds like you did the right thing getting away from him. Everything he is saying to you, is bs. How will he hide income and refuse to turn in tax returns? He would only be hurting himself, and he knows it. If he doesn't then hes lacking intelligence.

Do you have custody through the courts now? You would have to be unfit, to have them removed from your care, I would think. And don't let him try to bully you that way either, Im sure he will or maybe has already tried to make you feel not fit. Just ignore him, if he knows hes getting to you he will just keep on. Other than the kids, you have nothing to talk about. Ignore him and dont waste time worrying about him.

Rickman he will not gain access to your DC I promise. Grrrr I want to smack to twat in the mouth for you. (sry am in a man hating mood of late) to do with the same stuff your going through. Do you fancy joining mums4justice with me LOL

My exh tried the custody thing on me too. I bet though your ex is only saying these things because he knows it will hurt you. If won't really want to give up his freedom and little love nest I'm sure..

please ignore me if i'm being a little harsh it just grits me.. but I know not all ex husbands/partners are like this, just a shame ours are

Well, if he launches a bid for residency, he will have to disclose his income to the court to show he could support them. He is bound to fail because the court is not going to take 4 children away from a perfectly good mother just because the dad has taken up with another woman who isn't even the primary carer for her own child. And then you will have ample evidence to supply to the CSA.

I'd encourage him personally .

Gosh just re read that. A tad larey, I apologise!!

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He sounds like a real piece of work. Can't CSA check into that? See what property he owns? CSA really needs a good overhaul, they don't seem to help much. I would check and find out what resources are available to you. Maybe legal aide could give you some advice? Hope things go better for you, it can be very stressful dealing with an ex, especially one like yours.

RE the needing a break thing, do you mean he makes you feel guilty although he doesn't have to say anything?? I feel like that too flower when suggesting "the sperm doner" sees his children more often.

See I think the CSA should have investigators not just do things via mail when it comes to the non resident parent. They should come and see where he lives and like the debt collecters take things like cars and stuff and sell it, until the knacker gives in... especially when its bloody obvious he has pennies (not claiming off the social for example, which is the only way IMO that suggests he is skint.

Wouldn't it be great, if you could just say "okay, here are your children - will check back in in six months to see how you are doing"

I despair of people like this ever being able to see what is in the best interests of their children - WHY? Are you sitting on your arse, no, you are doing the hardest job there is to do, which is to do your utmost level best to bring his children up well.

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Surely you left because you knew that was the best thing to do for yourself, as well as your children??? and from what I can tell, you definetly made a grand choice. So whats to feel guilty about there?? I really do know how you feel though, I did the same.

Your DC will not hate you!! Do you know if your ex ever bad mouths you infront of your DC?? This is one thing I make sure I never do (although it's soooo hard) I want the girls to never hold anything against me so I always refer to him as "Daddy" and speak about him in a positive tone. I know exh and his mother have posionous tongues when it comes to me, I just let them crack on.

This will all come to bite your ex on the arse in the future I'm sure.

rickman he is trying to wind you up and it's working. you have to start not listening and take up a "not bovvered" approach lovey!

he can't gain residency unless you get ill, die or abuse the kids - don't fret.

you can also report the possibility of undeclared earnings through a particular section of the csa - i had to do this.

x

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