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Original poster

Is it possible to be SECRETLY married?

35 replies

moaningpaper · 31/10/2006 19:43

Do you think it would be possible to be SECRETLY married?

?

OP posts:
southeastastra · 31/10/2006 19:44

wouldn't you regret it?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 31/10/2006 19:45

No. Well, you could, but for form filling purposes it would be wrong (in some cases illegal) to give incorrect details.

I think its daft to want to keep it a secret, tbh.

Cappuccino · 31/10/2006 19:45

can't see why not

I used to work in an office opposite a registry office and a couple of times people were called on to act as witnesses to complete strangers

you just put the certificate in a drawer surely and keep quiet?

HallgerdaLongcloak · 31/10/2006 19:45

Some friends of ours just went and did it, finding two witnesses at random. They only admitted it several months later. So, yes, it is possible.

webcrone · 31/10/2006 19:46

secret wedding or secret marriage?

Whizzz · 31/10/2006 19:46

Assuming you could get married at a registry office with witnesses of the street who don't know you without telling anyone ??

lemonAIIEEE · 31/10/2006 19:49

Yes, assuming you mean "no one who knows you socially knowing you are married" rather than "no one in the entire world knowing you are married". To achieve the latter you'd need a standing order with your local hitman and the names and addresses of the registrar and witnesses, but the former should be pretty easy.

Pruni · 31/10/2006 20:00

Message withdrawn

Pruni · 31/10/2006 20:01

Message withdrawn

Original poster
moaningpaper · 31/10/2006 20:15

Would your family understand? Were they to find out...

hehe

no

Not sure how you could keep it from your children though without actually, sort of, LYING?

I mean would they be pissed off if they discovered that you were secretly married for years and no one knew?

Someone would spot a form or something, wouldn't they, and everything would come out?

OP posts:
Bucketsofbloodydinosaurs · 31/10/2006 20:16

Not for long . And wouldn't you want to involve your kids anyway? I don't mean dress them up in suits but wouldn't it be nice to make it a special day for all of you seeing as they are probably your motivation for marriage?
Sorry if that makes anyone puke...

Original poster
moaningpaper · 31/10/2006 20:18

Well the person in this hypothetical situation may not want to involve anyone at all

(am considering the Hitman Plan actually lemonaid ;))

OP posts:
Perigrine · 31/10/2006 20:19

My aunt was secretly married for years to her 3rd husband, it only came to light when she married husband no 4 !!!!!!

SherlockLGJ · 31/10/2006 20:19

Legoland I tell you, Legoland.

March, April, May , in term time as quiet as the grave and the children would have a ball.

tribpot · 31/10/2006 20:21

Ooh, never mind Legoland, I wanted to get married at the Ice Hotel in Sweden, but my mum vetoed it on the grounds "it's too cold" (it's an ice hotel, for flip's sake). So go there! This is the perfect time of year as well, Ice Hotel not existing in summer).

80sMum · 31/10/2006 20:32

My grandmother's best friend kept her marriage a secret for 2 years, so she could continue to work as a nurse. In those days (around the time of WW1) a woman had to give up nursing when she married - indeed many institutions would not employ a married woman! They never told their secret to their family, so always had 2 celebrations for special anniversaries. I remember my parents going to their 'real' golden wedding party and then they had another one for their family 2 years later!

Some friends of ours met their DIL for the first time about 6 months after she'd married their DS. They had got married and not bothered telling anyone, then came for lunch one day and just announced, 'oh, by the way, we got married 6 months ago!'
Our friends were a bit taken aback at first and sorry to have missed their DSs big day - but they soon got over it and are happy that he's happy (and that they didn't have to pay for a huge wedding!).

VeniVidiVickiQV · 31/10/2006 20:51

LGJ, are you on commission for Legoland?

Original poster
moaningpaper · 31/10/2006 20:53

LGJ, I just found your wedding pictures online!!!!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 31/10/2006 20:55

Absolutely.

Tatties · 31/10/2006 21:04

You could just not tell anyone. But I would feel that although it's none of anyone's business, it's also not a secret. To me getting married would be as mundane as signing a cheque - not worthy of broadcasting, but not something worthy of hiding either. But I think that would be an extremely hard concept for some family members to grasp. They wouldn't be able to help themselves feeling they've missed out on your 'big day' and congratulating you...

One potential pitfall of not telling people is if something happened to either of you, surely the fact you were married would come to light, and might upset people more than if they'd found out at the time.

I think we might just get married and then see how we feel like telling people when the situation arises.

razna · 31/10/2006 21:08

i think u can but there are consequences

TheDaVinciCod · 31/10/2006 21:10

lol at pics

Cashncarry · 31/10/2006 21:15

Yes it is possible. I was married for a year before I got "found out". Sh*t hit the fan when my family found out but I don't regret it for a second. Are you thinking of getting married on the sly? TBH I can't see why it'd be much of an issue if you're already living together and have kids...

divamummy · 31/10/2006 21:21

find it romantic secret wedding

GoingQuietlyMad · 31/10/2006 21:32

It is possible. I have a friend who got married quietly, with just a few close friends (no family - eek!) present. I think it was to do with visa/residency running out.

Eventually, years later, they got "married" again with family there, a carefully staged event. It was a full wedding with all the works. The parents never knew about the first one, and the friends were all there this time again, sworn to secrecy.

As far as I know, they got away with it.