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Original poster

Upset my friend..... but don't know how

11 replies

sexgoddess · 27/04/2004 19:46

Friends son and my daughter have an after school session with one of the teachers for an hour a week. I like to collect my daughter so I can find out what she's been doing and so on. I am happy to drop my friend's son home too. Tonight I went to school to collect my dd and when friend didn't turn up I paid for both kids and left with both assuming friend was held up or similar knowing I wouldn't leave her child at school. On the way out of the school I noticed I had a text message on my phone which said "I'll pick XX up". Just about to leave the car park and my friend pulls up in her car and drops the window so I did too and said "I've just received your message" to which "F*ck off, you never let me pick your daughter up, ever..." was the response with a sneer (not a smile). I was absolutely gobsmacked and her son climbed out of my car. she moved further into the car park as a car was trying to leave and so I drove off. Not sure how to play it now then as she was completely furious with me for picking my daughter up. Advice please...

OP posts:
Tinker · 27/04/2004 19:49

Erm, bizarre! Not sure what I would do either other that stand there puzzled, scratching my head. Maybe next week send a text asking about the picking up arrangements?

spacemonkey · 27/04/2004 19:49

blimey how awful!

All you can do is behave like a mature adult and try to do the right thing, then if she persists in her stroppiness at least you know you've not done anything to be ashamed of.

I'd contact her, probably by text, and say something like "I'm really sorry if I have upset you, I'm not sure what I did wrong - would you like to talk?"

tigermoth · 28/04/2004 10:55

can't make head or tail of her reaction. How can she be furious with you for picking her son up, if it's what you've done before? It sounds like she was in an awful mood already, or she had some sudden unexplained issue with you. Or could you have misheard or misunderstood her?

don't know how good a friend she is, but send her a message to say you're not sure what you've done to upset her?

Janh · 28/04/2004 11:06

Well - "you never let me pick your daughter up" sounds as if she has been brooding and thinks you don't trust her or something - the fact that you had apparently ignored her offer (on the text you hadn't seen) was obviously the last straw in a situation you were completely unaware of. Maybe her son has been complaining that she doesn't pick up your dd. Who knows.

Assuming she has been/is a good friend and you want to stay friends, I think you should do what spacemonkey suggests, and if she has calmed down and is willing to discuss it, then you can explain that you like to pick up dd yourself in order to talk about what they've been doing, not because you don't want her to.

And then set up a rota and let her pick up your dd sometimes! (Maybe she really enjoys her company and hardly ever sees her these days?)

papillon · 28/04/2004 11:15

Yes Jahn - I was thinking the same way.

I have had a similar experience with a friend - the feelings that your friend may well be experiencing and it might just need some balance with regards to picking up the kids.

twiglett · 28/04/2004 11:18

message withdrawn

twiglett · 28/04/2004 11:19

message withdrawn

Sonnet · 28/04/2004 11:32

I agree with Papilion as have alos experienced it BUT with my SIL who would pick my daughter up at the drop of a hat from school and I would meet them coming out of the school gate...I tried to balance it out by phoning up an offering topick up her daughter ( I tried it 3 times) to be told "Oh no, no no" followed by tinkering laugh. In her case it was all to do with her control freak nature. I finally told her NOT to pick my DD up full stop -
I am not saying for one minute that you are not acting with hte best of intentions but maybe she dosn;t see it like that. I felt totally out of control with my own daughter BUT this was not an isolated issue, there were other control issues .
Hope you manage to resolve it.

Original poster
sexgoddess · 28/04/2004 16:33

Just to update you - my friend's son called this evening to ask dd to go round and play. He didn;t leave a message so I returned call thinking it was my friend. Anyway we had a chat and we both completely ignored yesterday's incident. We were supposed to be going out tonight and looks like it's still on. Nowt so queer as folk!!!!

OP posts:
juniper68 · 28/04/2004 16:37

that's brill news sexgoddess have a brill night

juniper68 · 28/04/2004 16:37

brill's my new word today

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