DP's grandad passed away yesterday morning :o(

8 replies

yorkshirelass79 · 30/10/2006 11:10

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WelshBoris · 30/10/2006 11:11

You have a right to be upset aswell
Sorry for your families loss x

Mellowma · 30/10/2006 11:13

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Cappuccino · 30/10/2006 11:14

so sorry

re the flowers - first find out if they are doing contributions to a charity instead of flowers, some people do this

if not go to a florist and ask them to make up a bouquet for a funeral for a gentleman. You can give them a budget (however small) and they will make something appropriate, and let you write a card

at funerals often people gather round the grave and look at the floral tributes and read the cards; so it means a lot to do it properly

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yorkshirelass79 · 30/10/2006 11:16

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scarysuejonez · 30/10/2006 11:20

"it's not my place to cry in front of those who have more right to be upset" - I understand what you mean but don't agree. Crying means that you loved him and will miss him, there is not a scale of grief which is measured by the amount you cry. Some people grieve deeply without being able to cry at all, its more a function of your personality and upbringing.

I agree it wouldn't be appropriate to sob and wail over his daughter about how upset YOU are but it is entirely appropriate for her to see that you loved her father enough to shed a tear in public for him. At the funerals I have been to, dearest and dearest have been very touched when people have cared enough to cry.

Agree it would be a nice gesture to take her something - you can say that you understand that she won't feel like it just now but you have brought something she can freeze. Also a good idea to split it up into portions if you can.

scarysuejonez · 30/10/2006 11:24

"it will make DP more upset" - it won't you know. Your DP won;t be anymore upset than his is already, but he may find it more difficult to hide it if you are tearful. IMHO that isn't necessarily a bad thing - men often find grief very hard to deal with because they struggle to find an acceptable way of expressing it. Everyone expects you to cry at finerlas so men should make maximum use of it in my opinion.

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yorkshirelass79 · 30/10/2006 11:31

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scarysuejonez · 30/10/2006 14:33

Doing things is just fine but ask her if she'd like you to help her find a reading as its a very personal thing to some people

Good luck

Flip