Procrastinators, get your pompoms. Let's cheer each other on and kick the procrastination habit!

[ProcrastinateNoMore]

Inspired by the thread in AIBU... This is a thread where chronic procrastinators can get together to share tips, hold hands and try to break the habit of a lifetime! We all have our reasons for procrastinating (some conscious, some less so) but this thread is our chance to talk to people who understand the stress and help each other make positive changes.

Useful links from the original thread (thanks to all who shared):

This is the best description of procrastination I've read, written by a chronic procrastinator. This is his attempt to suggest strategies.

This is an excellent website from Carleton University in Canada - the page from the Procrastination Research Group. There is a blog with the key posts - useful for understanding and tackling procrastination. The work on goal focus is quite practical.

This post from BBC suggests apps you may find useful.

It might be useful to say hello and identify the key areas we procrastinate in below. Also think about small steps we can take to change that.

Good luck fellow monkey-minders!

How's everyone been getting on? Thread's gone a bit quiet. Please post about your wins, struggles, revelations. No judgement here...

Everyone's procrastinating about posting...

Struggles? Even do the basics of laundry and hoovering are currently a struggle. I think when I feel unhappy I stop. And find it hard to get motivated.

Rummikub, yes it's a bit ironic that people are even procrastinating about posting on this thread. But totally understandable. So what do you think is stopping you doing household tasks? ( apart from the fact that they're totally boring of course ). What's the mental process you go through? I currently live on my own and am really only motivated to do those kinds of things when I know someone's coming over. It's the shame and panic that motivates me. Don't value myself enought to do it 'just' for me...

What Rummikub said resonates with me.
I am very outgoing and extravert. Emotions rule my life.
If I am down or feel undervalued I can't find motivation to do mundane tasks.
This thread is like self help group I think. I managed to make 3 phone calls at my lunchtime which I was postponing for months and also cancelled kids phone contracts so will save perhaps 20 or 30 pounds a month!

I wonder if others on this thread are not very motivated by money and financial gains as I am?

It feels good that I did those calls and few more to do today, also pay one outstanding bill and I will be on top of my "to do list" which really is a pile of letters I carry in my oversized bag. Blessing to be able to set those bills on standing order and pay for others online!

Really I realised it doesn't take that much effort in my case to keep on top of everything. Even cleaning of the house if I did 30 min a day every day would be sufficient IF I did it every day.

But I also can't keep up with healthy diet, exercise plan even though I know what I need doing.

I don't want a mother figure to remind me about those but someone nice and gentle who would understand that I am making the same mistake most of the days - find an activity which gives an instant pleasure, like playing Candy Crush!

I need to perhaps be better at making long lists and chopping them into small ones which are manageable and achievable?

I hold a job and am a good parent yet am failing at simple domestic/admin tasks. Is not that I can't do them, more I decide I can get away with not doing them!

Antimatter great post!

I find long lists paralyzing. Often there is absolutely nothing there that I really want to do, or even if I do one or two things, the list will not be visibly shorter. And that is fertile ground for distractions. Short lists, on the other hand, often help me to get things done.

I have a hard time doing things that I find boring and tedious. A lot of housework is like that. I have a much easier time of doing tasks that connect me with other people or seem to serve a greater purpose. A good mix is usually to find a goal that one really cares about and feels passionate about and spend most time doing that, and then tick off dull tasks at the rate of one per week or one per day.

Another thing is to re-evaluate tasks at hand. Some of them seem boring and redundant because they are... I didn't clean the oven in years, nobody died

Procrastination can also be a symptom that one's major goals in life are unfocused or that life is off balance in some way. I had a major breakthrough a couple of years when I realized that there were too many dull, routine tasks in my day and not enough guilt-free play and flow experiences. I took some time to work out what I really value and want and also did the VIA Survey to find what my core strenghts are. Scheduling more time for activities that involve my strenghts has helped a lot!

Today I got a phone call that a boring and tedious task I started circa six months ago (DD2's passport application) is finally moving forward. I'm terrible at things like this but getting it done feels fantastic!

My goal today: I need to do one thing that I have been putting off for months. Getting it done would help a person I really care about...

awhole that's exactly it. I don't feel I'm worth it. I make sure the kids eat but when I'm on my own Ill just have tea and chocolate.

I don't know why I avoid doing the simple things even. antimatter I'm the same with the instant gratification in playing candy crush! Or being on mn.
I like fly lady's idea of giving yourself a Present for the morning by getting stuff ready night before. It worked well. I even had a reminder set in an app. But since divorce proceedings and feeling lonely and unloved I've stopped. I know what I should I just don't!

Another recent thread on this very subject.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2289893-How-do-you-learn-self-discipline

My procrastination is at it's worst when I feel overwhelmed (as I do today), for me I think the problem is I have too many commitments that I don't really know 'how to do'.

I need to work on those negative thoughts I think.

Lots of painful procrastination today - several hours in total. Managed to get started only to be interrupted by lunch. Getting back up to speed is hard but finally managed to do it. Wish there was a quicker way to full focus. Not quite done yet, but making good progress. Need to stop now, DC coming home from school.

I had a bad morning. Couldn't motivate myself to do anything. Then had a few stern words with myself, got out of the house,paid some bills and then went to the dentist to book a clean ( something else I'd been putting off. Was delighted to find that they could fit me in for Monday! ). Then went to supermarket to get ingredients for a recipe and bought my fave wine on offer. Result! For me it's getting over that inertia that's so hard. Once I'm in action I do get things done.

Bigfish. One piece of advice when you're feeling overwhelmed is to write down your tasks and then prioritise them in order of importance. May help give you some clarity and order to your thinking?

Hey guys. Not a good day here on the procrastination front. Instead of putting the Specsavers number into my calendar I wrote it here then forgot to do it - so forgot to make the call. By happy coincidence they sent a reminder letter today and I can book it online so that is the plan. I have finally stopped procrastinating about a big scary thing (letting a house) and am handing it over to an agent to sort to save me haemorrhaging money any longer.

I did take today 'off' as my weekends are packed at the minute - DH is away with work a lot at present so I am fulltime entertainer for DC. It's hard going tbh. I really enjoyed my 'day off' today though and may actually do some freelance work this evening.

I've been procrastinating writing on the thread because... I felt like I didn't have time to write 'good enough' replies. As the thread got busier it felt too hard to namecheck everyone so sorry if my posts seem self-centred at the minute. I'm just busy and want to keep posting because it's so helpful. It's great having somewhere non-judgemental to post and so much of what people are writing is resonating with me

ProcrastinateNoMore staying at home with DC when DH is away is really hard - and freelancing is hard too! Hope you had a great day off. And no need to greet everyone - procrastination is a lonely activity and it helps a lot to hear that others struggle with it too.

WholeLotta I have this inertia thing too. Getting out of the house, getting started can take ages. It's awful. When I get started, I get things done, but gathering the momentum is sometimes really hard!

Good luck everyone starting the new week!

Thanks Frugal :) How are you getting on today?

Not sure about setting targets for the week - feeling tired, anxious and hormonal (PMT). I really need to keep working on cleaning up my diet and possibly some decluttering. I'm breaking all the thread tips here by being so vague Hopefully I'll be more inspired tomorrow.

Good luck everyone this week and keep using this thread in any way that helps you.

Have had a good start of the week!
A big thing because normally my Mondays are always messed up and last week was difficult!
Made progress toward major important work goals (my work is mostly writing and editing).

For me, regular exercise really helps.
I did the school run this morning and walked about 8k enjoying the sunny morning. While I walked I thought about this week's goals and priorities so when I was back at home I already knew where to start. I often also listen to audiobooks when I'm exercising - stuff that I would never get finished at home.

I've also done short meditation and focusing exercises using the Headspace app. It really helps!

Some other things that help:

• turning of phones and e-mail and social networks until I'm done
• keeping iPads and phones in a different room or uncharged
• using browser blockers and Freedom
• the Pomodoro technique
• breaking tasks down into small steps focusing on something that is doable immediately and won't take too long
• promising myself that I can stop for the day after 1-2 hours of focused work (if I'm really stuck, just 30 minutes)

ProcrastinateNoMore sometimes being gentle with yourself and allowing yourself to be tired and unfocused really helps! Hope you'll feel better soon!

Frugal, that's great and some good tips too!

I had a little win today. Had a teeth clean at the dentists as had some problems with my teeth last year so now having regular cleans. They advised me to use an electric toothbrush and I had bought one last year but it needed to be charged, I didn't have a charger and so, defeated, put it in a drawer. ( and just felt bad about it). Came back from dentists and was determined to find the bloody toothbrush ( as had forgotten where I had put it). I rummaged around in some cupboards and found it. Then ( and here's where it gets exciting), because of the sort out I'd done last week, I found a plug I thought I could use as a charger. Plugged it in and it worked! So I now have an electric toothbrush currently charged which I can use tonight. This may not sound like much but I get so easily defeated by little tasks it feels like a big win for me!!

Well done WholeLotta, you've had a fantastic day!
There are several dead lamps and other broken bits in our house... It can take an incredible amount to get them sorted. Years, sometimes

I had some unfocused moments after lunch but decided that finishing something feels much better than ruminating and so I finished the task I started on Friday (it's been pending since December!). To boot, competed another task!

I have a short and specific to-do list for this week. Let's hope it helps!
I keep the list on the phone so I can always add or delete items.
I feel a lot less overwhelmed when the tasks are written down.

Wanted to say that procrastination is sometimes a symptom of depression. I've had a few episodes in my life. For me, feeling unable to get things started or finished and feeling excessively overwhelmed has often been a symptom of depression. My triggers are life changes, overwork and my perfectionistic personality and self-critical thoughts. Depression can be often treated successfully, cognitive behavioral techniques are really useful. I've found that regular meals and exercise help a lot too, as do regular bedtimes. I've been symptom and medication free for several years now! But still keeping a close eye on procrastination as that is one of my key symptoms...

Thanks Frugal! And I agree that it can sometimes be a sign of depression, for me I often have the thoughts 'I can't be bothered' and 'what's the point?' , feel very apathetic and dispirited. Ironically, when I actually DO something, I feel better. It's getting going that's hard.

I also have a list of stuff to do on my phone, I find it helps me get more focused and less 'fuzzy'.

One thing I've been procrastinating about for ages is learning to drive. I really need to book some lessons but something ( fear ) is stopping me. I started a thread tonight about it to try and get some inspiration from others who have overcome their fear and done it..,

Hello, some really useful stuff in those posts,

I know I've not checked in for a bit, but I think about the thread a lot, and how I can go about my day. Unfortunately as I said on the other thread lists are useless with me, I become blind to them and writing one is so overwhelming because there is so much to put on them seriously important stuff down to the just do it routine stuff. I have tried to write little lists but then feel paralysed looking at it.

I suffer from depression too, though I haven't been on meds for a couple of years. I'm seeing a counsellor (my choice) but haven't seen them since January, will be seeing them this week. So really hoping that it will help as I know I have been really bad recently. (I can feel depression on the horizon)

I have to be out in the fresh twice a day. this time does give me a new lease of life.
Even when I really don't want to leave the house on a evening, once out in feel so much better.

I am really hoping that soon I will be-able to contribute to this thread in a positive way for once. It is really good to see how everybody is getting on.

Good luck with the getting the driving lessons booked lotta

Aka, it's great that you're posting, there's such a lot of shame about this issue ( there's lots of embarrassing stuff I haven't posted about). Everything you write is helpful to all of us. No one here is going to judge you for anything. I hope your counselling is helpful but just post anyway. I certainly haven't cracked it, I wish I could. I think for me it's a lifelong battle. I wish I could be one of those people who just did stuff without agonising about it. But I'm not so I'm just trying to learn from others, post my successes and my failures. I've found just having a place to write about it has been helpful. I feel
so stupid that sometimes I can't even achieve basic tasks and hate myself for it but I find focussing on it and not feeling so alone with it helps. Stay with us!

Thank you lotta
I think it's the basic stuff that I struggle with that gets me down the most too.

AWholeLottaNosy - I have the same relationship with my electric toothbrush. Managed to find the right charger....

I am beginning to think that my issues are:

a/ lack of permanent storage for items I use not too often such as toothbrush charger
b/ in general too much stuff kept in the house (declutter alert!!!)
c/ am juggling many things and often don't finish them as I know I can get away with not doing it, i.e. I believe multitasking is better than doing one thing at a time. I was often praised for ability to multitask and now think that this is the best and the only mode of operating

Enjoying your thoughtful discussion and analysis.

There is such stigma to procrastination. For the longest time, I thought I was just lazy and deficient and lacking in self-discipline. I've had at least three six-month periods of being totally blocked and shut down - very painful and shameful too. It was really a breakthrough to understand that my procrastination has a lot to do with my tendency to be too harsh on myself and completely unrealistic expectations. My work is also often harshly criticized. That can be a toxic mix.

Today is starting well. I did the school run and a long walk. Right after, I spent the morning in a cafe and completed the task I scheduled for today. It's not quite noon yet and I'm done! Had time for my daily meditation too - doing exercises right now where the goal is to find the right level of focus. Soft focus - because intense focus can be exhausting and distracted thoughts slow things down. I do brief relaxation and visualization exercises a couple of times a day and that really helps me to focus!

For women juggling a career and a family and feeling constantly overwhelmed I recommend Brigid Schulte's book Overwhelmed. I found it last spring and it was a game-changer for me. For anyone who has to work from home, possibly part-time, Neil Fiore's The Now Habit is excellent. Both go far beyond to-do lists and help to identify and change what needs to be changed. Both take a counterintuitive approach - if you are overwhelmed or procrastinating, you may need more leisure and positive experiences. The books help to explain how to make that happen.