Procrastinators, get your pompoms. Let's cheer each other on and kick the procrastination habit!

[ProcrastinateNoMore]

Inspired by the thread in AIBU... This is a thread where chronic procrastinators can get together to share tips, hold hands and try to break the habit of a lifetime! We all have our reasons for procrastinating (some conscious, some less so) but this thread is our chance to talk to people who understand the stress and help each other make positive changes.

Useful links from the original thread (thanks to all who shared):

This is the best description of procrastination I've read, written by a chronic procrastinator. This is his attempt to suggest strategies.

This is an excellent website from Carleton University in Canada - the page from the Procrastination Research Group. There is a blog with the key posts - useful for understanding and tackling procrastination. The work on goal focus is quite practical.

This post from BBC suggests apps you may find useful.

It might be useful to say hello and identify the key areas we procrastinate in below. Also think about small steps we can take to change that.

Good luck fellow monkey-minders!

I've just written down a list of goals and tasks for the next few weeks. Some are fairly small, some I've been resisting, will start tackling them on Monday. It does feel good when you've actually done them, must remember what that feels like. And they are never as hard in reality as in my imagination. Problem I find is, the longer I leave them, the worse they get and the more shame, embarrassment and feeling overwhelmed I experience - which keeps the cycle of procrastination going...

Hi - hope everyone is having a good Friday night.
I hit 4 out of 5 of my list today. Fairly pleased with that really, maybe 5 was a bit much. It definitely helped writing them down here, gave me a little bit more motivation. Renewing passports was the thing that didn't make it. Oh well, I'm not travelling for a while

We've done well. I think we need pompoms.

Procrastinatenomore - wow thank you!
That article was amazing. I now have visualizations of the forces at work. Makes it so much clearer. The dark playground is spot on for how I am.
Also I thought I was not as bad as some procrastinators as I am ace at making lists. Oh the shame to see that planning is not doing and I was being fooled all along!
Am going to try it now on a task I should have started three hours ago. Not wasted though as I have read that fab article.
So - am off to spring clean the house...

I'm on a mission to get the laundry mountain done. I can see a big reduction in just a couple of loads. Towel wash is the one I loathe. And keep putting off, oh and sheets.
Is do it now our aspirational motto?

Good work Rummi :-)
I think "Do it now" is supposed to be a good phrase to keep in mind if the task will take less than five minutes apparently! Read that in one of my books..

Had a thought today... The article refers to procrastinators not being in tune with their "future self" and treating their future self almost like a stranger. I have that problem big time. I don't seem to care about the difficulties my undone tasks cause the "me" of tomorrow/next week.
I wondered how many procrastinators have had hard childhoods? I had a bad upbringing and it was all I could do to get by from day to day (or hour to hour)

I wonder if this is why I can't visualize my future self? When I was young I rarely had the luxury of gearing for a future when I HAD to be so focused on the present due to the terrible dysfunction.
Anyone else? What do you think of that theory?

Leeloo01, that theory makes sense. Not caring for the future would definitely be a factor and I think a tough childhood in general would lead to low self-esteem which feeds procrastination. I also think there are probably a variety of different reasons for procrastination developing. I have read about parents being overbearing / overcontrolling, so the child never gains self-motivation because they are always being told what to do, or having everything done for them. If parents interfere a lot, it can lead to desire to not do as you are told and an unconscious need to be in charge, so procrastination emerges as a way of defying "authority" by sabotaging things you don't want to do. There is also fear of success as a possible reason, so if it was impossible in a family to become a high-achiever and there was for some reason, a benefit to adopting the role of a low achiever, then that would lead to self-sabotage. So many different possibilities.

I feel I've done so well this week. So far I've accomplished

Quote for new bathroom
Gas boiler serviced
Had an eye test (only a year late)
Lamp sent for rewiring (only been waiting to do that for ten years)
Three years worth (!) of bills and bank statements shredded
Bags and bags of stuff sorted and ready for charity shop
And lots of small things like gathering all the pens in the house into one container, getting passport photos done, putting all my cookbooks into one kitchen cupboard.

And it feels so good to get things done. Truly energising!

Squoosh, that's brilliant!

I've written down my tasks for the week and am going to do 5 of them tomorrow. I enjoy being able to tick them off. Have still got some big ones I'm massively putting off tho...

Thanks leeloo :)
Well done squoosh, esp for getting the lamp repaired :)
I've gt many things like that to do.

Leeloo, with regards to my childhood, I'm not sure I fit. It wasnt tough in some ways, we were fed, clothed and housed. However there was a distinct lack of praise or love. I was bright academically, but unless it was 100% it wasn't good enough, it wasnt explicitly said, just that I didn't get praise for achieving. Ever. It was expected I'd go to uni and did. There wasnt even any statement of pride on graduation. Hmm wonder whether this is where low self esteem, lack of prioritising myself and perfectionism stem from. I've never joined the dots till now.

Guys I'm so glad we have this thread - it's really motivational :) Love seeing what everyone has achieved and got some good reminders from Squoosh (eye test - 18 months late )

On the whys, I have spent a lot of time trying to figure it out over the last few years and Majestic a lot of what you wrote has been my experience. So my parents were controlling and critical (although loving). Like Rummi I was just expected to do well and I know that a lot of my 'rebellion' such as it was involved waiting till the night before exams to do revision. I was always waiting to 'get my comeuppance' but somehow I always got through. It left me very conflicted - guilty that I still got good results, resentful that I still got good results too (my unconscious 'rebellion' had failed!) but over time very sad that I had always underachieved so massively (I hadn't by any objective standard but had by my own standard). It only occurred to me in my late twenties, 'What could I have achieved if I had really worked?'

Anyway, hugs for everyone. We couldn't choose our upbringing but we are changing our behaviour and hopefully not passing our bad habits onto DC!

DH is away at the minute which is leaving me in the role of work widow / child carer / entertainer for DC so no time to do anything. DO IT NOW is an excellent motto and I have definitely been thinking it in my head a lot more over the last few days. I read a book called that years ago - well half read it, never finished it :o

Lots of financial stuff sorted last week so next week I'm going to shift focus to health stuff. So plan is to:

• book eye test
• plan four healthy dinners for Mon- Thurs and buy the food
• read up on alternatives to wheat and bread and buy some bits and pieces (my stomach is really badly bloated at the minute so I'm thinking of cutting wheat out for a bit)
• go for at least 3 walks in the next week - probably on Monday, Wednesday and Thurs / Fri.

Where does my procrastination come from? Critical parents, afraid of making mistakes, never getting praise for anything I did. Also being the youngest of two older sisters who did everything right, deputy head girl of my school, Oxford University, other sister went to a grammar school, constantly being compared to them, my mum telling me I was 'useless' or 'clueless', my dad telling me I'd ' never be anything better than a shop girl in Woolworths'. Left me feeling pretty unconfident and unsure of my own abilities. Easier to hide and not try. ( still managed to get 2 degrees tho despite all that although I think that was just to prove my parents wrong)

Procrastinate that is exactly me too! Late night revision, cruised through. Now wondering what I could've become with hard work.

So perhaps there is a link to upbringing in certain areas? Seems to be some common themes on not getting praised for doing well as a child and critical/unaffectionate parenting perhaps?

When I come to think of it I also had those experiences as a child. Like some of you have said I also did very well academically (top of my year without trying too much) but this went unnoticed. In one instance I was accused of lying about an achievement until I showed my parents the certificate!

I had a good 12 years after leaving home of not procrastinating but when I hit a bad patch it started up and has been with me for the last 10 years or so. Like a kind of default setting.

I have been frustrated by it but didn't take it seriously. Now I am starting to see it as a kind of self sabotage and linking it to my childhood. I really want to change it.

So today I powered through the dark woods and even got to the magical "flow" at one point. It was hard as the instant gratification monkey was screaming at me to stop when I hit a few hurdles with what I wanted to achieve. I also noticed that I underestimate how long it will take me to do a task and so that may contribute to my feelings of failure / there's no point etc. I need to address this.

Anyway - I managed to:

• Spring clean kitchen
• Mend three kickboards
• Mend oven door

Squoosh - you sound like you are on a roll - all of you are doing so well!

Well done leeloo. Spring clean kitchen huge job!

I underestimate how long things will take me to complete. I'm consistently late.

I'm not sure if I got to flow, but i was much more motivated to get stuff on my list done. Changed bedding, wash away and folded kondo style (love this, it's addictive) , new load in.

How are we all doing tonight procrastinators? :)

Am a bit at all these similar stories of very critical upbringings. all round. We'll break the cycle!

Hope no one minds me suggesting a tip for the week:

One way to help with DO IT NOW is to USE THE GAPS. By this I mean the two and three minute windows while we're waiting for the kettle to boil / waiting for the microwave or oven timer to ping. I read this on a MN thread about organisation where people were saying that this was how they kept on top of things - by using all those little gaps during the day / evening to tackle short jobs e.g. unloading the dishwasher, making a lunch etc.

Anyway I've been trying this and have to admit it's impressive. While waiting for the kettle I managed to make a lunch, leave out clothes for DC for tomorrow and leave meat out of the freezer for tomorrow night. I'm going to try and make a point of doing this all week.

I also FINALLY booked a supermarket delivery. I spend so much time faffing over meals, nipping to the shops every day or ending up eating crap because we don't have food in. I'm quite good at cooking as long as the food is actually THERE. So, I have a delivery coming tomorrow with enough meat and veg for 4-5 evening meals plus fruit, cheese etc for packed lunches. Joy! It also meant that I could order some wheat free bread etc to try it as it comes from the bigger store further away which has a better stock. I'll let you know how it goes!

Procrastinate, well done with the food delivery!

I agree with you about the gaps. Sometimes when I'm watching TV I will use the ad breaks to do a bit of tidying or washing up. That ales fits well with some of the advice about overcoming procrastinating in that it's the initial 2 mins that is hard, so if you can get past that then you're on your way!

I cleaned sitting room!
Most of it anyway.
Now need a Kondo style sorting to apply to stuff.
Enough not to be ashamed when the reflexologist is coming to treat my kids. They both had very bad hay fever last spring and I am hoping this treatment will help them (it did in the past).

Its a good tip. I do stuff in ad breaks if I'm struggling. It helps keep things ticking over.

Tips are good.

A confession, sometimes I watch 'Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners' to make me feel better about myself. 1 because I'm not so fucked up that I have to spend all my spare time cleaning ( as if) and 2 because I'm not as bad as the hoarders who have let their houses get out of control. For one whole hour I can bask in the glow of a double self righteousness.... And then it's back to reality!

Awhole, I do that too. And it motivates me to do some clearing!

:o at obsessive compulsive cleaners. If I watch those things I usually have mixed feelings - half, 'That must be terrible!' and half, 'I wish I could make myself clean more.'

Day is off to a good start - got a couple of important phone calls made. What helped was writing the calls AND the phone numbers into my Google calendar so when the reminder popped up the number was right in front of me. It cut out the 'I have to faff about looking for the number on the internet but first I'll watch this funny cat video that popped up in the sidebar...' You know what I mean - you've been there

Good luck today everyone.