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Original poster

7 year old boy knocking on my door - advice please!

28 replies

Philomena · 25/10/2006 10:12

I'm not really sure whether I should be worried about this or not, and would appreciate some advice.

I'm 37 weeks pregnant at the moment and have no other children. For the past week or so, a 7 year old boy has been knocking on our door asking if it is 6pm yet. He is friends with the little boy who lives next door but one. When next door but one are out, he hangs around the green outside our houses and waits, but lately, he has taken to knocking on our door.

Last time I went outside with him and encouraged him to go home. It turns out he does not live in our street, but it the street behind us. He seems awfully young to be wandering the streets alone, and I'm really concerned that he is knocking on the doors of strangers.

I had a chat with his friend's mum and she told me that he is always over their house, but she also had some concerns. She gave the impression that his mother isn't overly protective or caring.

I did think about ringing his school and sharing my concerns about him knocking on the doors of strangers. My neighbour gave me the impression that his mother would not be overly bothered.

Am I over-reacting? Is it normal behaviour for a 7 year old?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Iklboo · 25/10/2006 10:16

Does he have any special needs? Our friends' DS has a playmate who keeps coming round and asking if it's tea-time yet. He's 7 too, but they live in a quiet cul-de-sac, not streets away.
I'd be worried too

ScummyMummy · 25/10/2006 10:20

I would be v concerned if my 7 year olds were doing this... I wish they could play out more but i would be v v v unhappy if they were knocking on people's doors. Might be worth having a "hi there, have met your son, what a lovely kid" chat with his mum and seeing if you think she would be able to take on board your concerns? She may just not know that he's doing this. If she does and has no worries and there are other issues then it could be that there are reasons to be worried and you might consider calling social services or the school.

LadyDooM · 25/10/2006 10:20

:S He must have to be home by 6 and not have a watch. But for a 7 yr old to be out and about alone seems really strange to me.

HumphreyComfrey · 25/10/2006 10:26

It's a tricky situation for you, Philomena.

I'm not sure how I would handle it, to be honest.

I think I would feel it necessary to inform the child's mother myself (as opposed to relying on your neighbour to do it), as it is a real worry that he is knocking on stranger's doors.

If you feel she would be unwilling to discuss it, perhaps a note through her door?

I let my sons play out at 7, but not out of sight.

I wouldn't contact the school unless I had first contacted the mother, and the behaviour didn't stop.

Sorry for the stream of consciousness, but I've been thinking as I type!

Original poster
Philomena · 25/10/2006 10:29

I did wonder if 6pm was home time, but when I asked him about that he told me that he was expecting his friend home at 6pm and that his home time was when it got dark.

My neighbour has already spoken to his mum because he just turned up at their house one day after following them home from the park. I did get the impression from her that mum is a bit, well, not bothered.

I don't know his name, just his age and the street he lives on, so thought I could be quite general with the school and suggest they do some stranger danger talks. I guess if they already have concerns about this particular little boy it may ring some alarm bells, if you see what I mean.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Crotchety · 25/10/2006 10:37

My view is that maybe next time you could walk him back home - I think perhaps you need to get the measure of the mother yourself before contacting anyone else. I think asking the school to do stranger danger is one thing, but this is a very specific instance which I'd have thought could well slip through that rather vague net. Although in one way it's not your problem, in another, now that he's taken to knocking on your door, it is, and that you should go and see the mother while taking him home and maybe get an idea how to judge it all after that.

Bucketsofbloodydinosaurs · 25/10/2006 10:46

Good idea Crotchety and you can highlight the fact that very soon you will be too busy to watch out for him or probably even open the door(just in case she thinks it's fine to leave him hanging around you).

Maybe there's no one else home until 6pm?

LadyDooM · 25/10/2006 10:56

I don't know, I mean I think his mother must already know, and to confront her about it might cause problems for the boy.:S Situations like that are pretty hard to know what to do.

Skribble · 25/10/2006 11:02

Its a shame that it this is a concern really. I remember roaming all over the town we stayed and coming home by dark.

He is not too far from home but its the knocing on strangers door bit I would worry about, perhaps his mum just thinks he is at his friends house, I wonder if you could somehow let her know he has been knocking your door and that he hasn't been at his frinds all the time.

I think you need to do something even to just stop him coming to your house, when you have a new baby the last thing you want is a kid chapping your door when your LO has just went to sleep.

LadyDooM · 25/10/2006 11:04

I would go with the suggestion about the school. If they have concerns it will verify them. If not I would contact either the police or social services.

I have 3 kids, two that are 10 and 12 and they do not wander the streets. If they go out it is to very precise places( the library, tesco's for candy, etc.) And they take a mobile so I can check on them if they are too long. Maybe Thats a bit smothering of me, I know when I was a kid My parents didn't worry so much I could be gone for hours in the woods playing and they didnt worry. But these days... you really cant be to trusting of anyone.

LadyDooM · 25/10/2006 11:10

My dad told me so many stories about the things he did when he was just little. No one worried, noone bothered him, he would basically be all over the city doing little jobs like carrying groceries, toting peoples luggage, Helping the milkman..lol, delivering newspapers and it was ok, kids did that back then.. its a real shame it can't be like that these days. People didnt lock their doors, and everyone looked out for each other..

When did things start to change is what I want to know...

Skribble · 25/10/2006 11:12

Social services seems a bit much just because he is allowed out to play and was daft enough to chap a door.

As I said perhaps she thinks he is out and about with freinds or at their houses.

I would be on the phone non stop if I reported evry kid under the age of 8 allowed out to roam.

LadyDooM · 25/10/2006 11:15

Can you imagine how nice it would be for your kids to say they are going out to play, be gone for hours and not worry a bit about them? Not worrying about paedophiles, murderers, kids with weapons, ( speaking of... my dad carried a hunting knife with him nearly everywhere and never ever thought about hurting a person with it, was just for whittling wood, fishing, etc. He even took a rabbit ear shotgun to school for show and tell!! People just didnt think "oh i have this weapon ill go hurt someone with it." This world really is beginning to suck isnt it..

Crotchety · 25/10/2006 11:17

Yes - I agree it's jumping the gun to call in police and social services. Go and see the mum, if only to set your own mind at rest.

LadyDooM · 25/10/2006 11:20

Ok, calling the police or social services was over the top...I thought about it and no one said the boy was being abused or mistreated and my reaction was way way over the top. Sorry for that.

Skribble · 25/10/2006 11:30

I would perhaps say come on lets go and see your mum and just take him back to his house, just say Oh I thought I would bring him home as he chapped my door and his freinds aren't in, smile and bye.

zippitippitoes · 25/10/2006 11:32

think skribble is right

he isn't far from home

Skribble · 25/10/2006 11:38

I had to go hunting for my DD 6years, I thought she was playing at freinds house but freinds mum let them play just over the hedge on the football field, I don't. I don't think she is a bad mum, Freind also goes past our house to the park herself DD doesn't get to, occasionaly with big brother if park is deserted as I can see it from the house, but still not keen.

Freinds mum is perhaps more relaxed about as she knows more peoplein the area and friend has big cousins that play out too.

NurseyJo · 25/10/2006 12:31

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zippitippitoes · 25/10/2006 12:36

I don't think society has changed in this respect that much, awareness is what has changed

NurseyJo · 25/10/2006 12:41

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TwigTwoolett · 25/10/2006 12:53

I hate that people let young children play in the streets ... and not on a safety issue

Because they then start playing football down the side of my house and I end up having to answer the door to other people's brats who say the reason they don't play outside their own houses is because they're 'not allowed'

Its the parents' job to look after their own child .. and children of 5, 6, 7 and 8 are not capable of empathising with other people and appreciating what is annoying / distracting ... so don't turf 'em out and assume they're not annoying complete strangers with their noise because I'll lay odds that they are

I think under 10 they should be supervised / taken to the park

TwigTwoolett · 25/10/2006 12:54
BATtymumma · 25/10/2006 13:10

next time you see this lad ask him if his mum knows where he is. if he says yes she knows then maybe you could explain that its no fun sitting here p[laying alone why dont we walk to your house and you can let me meet your mum.

then you can just mention to mum that he wasn't misbehaving but his freind wasn't home and as you had heard there was a convicted abuser in the area you thought it best to walk him home must in case.

i know its lying aand technically its not a noice thing to do but hopefully she will be scared enough to take a little more notice in future.

Original poster
Philomena · 25/10/2006 13:34

Thanks for the advice. I don't really have any experience of 7 year olds, so wasn't really sure if I am worrying over nothing.

I don't mind him knocking, he seems like a good kid but I'd be worried about him knocking elsewhere - our neighbours are lovely but I don't know everyone. He just seems so lonely and reluctant to go home. Am trying not to read too much into that!

I wasn't really thinking of police or social services, just thought the school might raise awareness without targeting him specifically.

I have SPD and the thought of walking him to his house is a bit scary, although I did offer to do this the other day and he wouldn't let me.

Might ask neighbour where he lives and call round next time I'm out in the car.

Thanks all

OP posts:
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