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Original poster

Argh - constantly posting "can't cope" style threads

30 replies

Flamebat · 24/10/2006 10:08

and with myself.

DS is currently SCREAMING upstairs (not just crying, temper scream). He is tired. He doesn't like his cot in DD's room.

He was up half the night, I am tired, I am not handling him being irritable and tired downstairs, so for the time I have put him upstairs going with the theory that there he is at least safe.

His sleep pattern has gone a complete mess - he started wanting a "nap" at 5.30pm for an hour, and the last two nights has extended it for 5 hours . I wasn't in last night, so couldn't wake him earlier, so he was then up half the night.

He is my placid smiley little man, but he just doesn't get this whole sleep business... DD was a very hard baby, but she did suss the night sleeping business fairly fast (even if she didn't sleep in the day... ever).

Feeling pretty incompetent because every day I wake up and think "Yes, I can do this, I've got this mother thing sussed", and then it invariably falls to pieces and I just end up tearful and feeling useless.

This should probably be in behaviour, parenting, depressed or somewhere, but I am now aiming at a "can't cope" thread in every section

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I know that loads of you have it sooo much worse, which makes me feel even more useless.

There are those of you who haven't slept in years, Hunker who is having similar sleep to me, but works on top of it, all of you SN mums who have more in your lives than I could ever imagine. So why can't I cope with one crying child???

OP posts:
CastsSpellsWitchySpells · 24/10/2006 10:11

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Flamebat)))))))))))))))))))))))

Thought you probably needed that more than anything else (except sleep of course, which I can't give you!).

lulumama · 24/10/2006 10:16

why

we all have days & even weeks where we just can't get on with it

sleep deprivation, for long periods of time, is really debilitating

if you know he is screaming through temper....leave him be ...if he is fed, dry, warm & has had all his needs met...he can manage without you for a few minutes..

just because other mums may be have worse situations to cope with ...doesn;t mean you are not entitled to be upset & P*ssed off...!

HumphreyComfrey · 24/10/2006 10:21

It sounds to me like you ARE coping Flamebat - but you're completely knackered.

Lack of sleep just makes everything so much harder to cope with.

It's a few years since mine were little, but I still remember the sleep deprivation with a shudder.

There's a 32 month age gap between my sons, and DS2 established a proper sleeping pattern before DS1!

There were occasions where DH came home from work to find DS1 and I both fast asleep at the dinind table, with our faces in our dinners.

And then there was the time DS2 and I fell asleep in the back pew at the school nativity play.

HumphreyComfrey · 24/10/2006 10:22

A 23 month age gap, actually.

Original poster
Flamebat · 24/10/2006 10:56

Thankyou. He stopped crying, so I am assuming that he fell asleep (alarm monitor so I know he is ok iyswim).

DD is sounding soooo happy because Diego has come on (and people tell me tv is bad?? )

Why do some people need more sleep than others?? I have always been a "sleepy" person, which seems to make the lack of sleep get to me more.

OP posts:
GooseyLoosey · 24/10/2006 10:56

One day (soon hopefully), you will sleep, he will sleep and you will wake up feeling you have got parenting sussed and the feeling will last for the whole day. In the meantime, hang in there - 15 mnth age gap between mine and youngest now 2.2 so really do sympathise.

SoupDragon · 24/10/2006 10:58

I've just done the decent thing and dumped a tired, snotty, screaming BabyDragon in the living room with DSs watching TV.

They've managed to stop her crying where I couldn't

Original poster
Flamebat · 24/10/2006 11:01

Sleep didn't last... back downstairs looking miserable at me.

I think its teeth.

I dread to think what would happen if I left the poor boy in the room alone with DD

OP posts:
Pruni · 24/10/2006 11:02

Message withdrawn

liquidclocks · 24/10/2006 11:09

Aww - you poor thing, I totally sympathise at the moment as I have a 4 week old and I've been reminded what sleep deprivation can do to you. Don't worry about not feeling like you're coping, we all get that feeling. But the fact you left him to get on with the tantrum and knew to walk away speaks volumes - you ARE coping, it's just a difficult situation and it's stressing you out.

Hang in there - any chance someone else could have them for a night (grandparents, godparents, good friends etc?) so you can have a chilled out meal, early night and a lie-in?

hunkermunker · 24/10/2006 11:10

Flame, love and squashy hugs, but, clearly I'm not going to be much actual practical help! xxxxxxxxxx

TheDaVinciCod · 24/10/2006 11:13

lol this ll make you lol
it hought you meant
you cant cope with your style!

hunkermunker · 24/10/2006 11:14

What like, "Shit, I keep wanting to put sparkly legwarmers on with my jelly shoes" sorta thing?

Original poster
Flamebat · 24/10/2006 11:14

Not easily... my mum has loads of colds last winter (various reviews at work because of it) so is terrified of getting ill this year, and I don't want to ask her to have them both and get her run down when she should be resting iyswim.

My stepmum has offered to have them both overnight, but then we get to the issue of my mum hasn't had DS overnight yet, and I know it would hurt her. Getting on with the woman who my dad went off with is one thing, but I think that would be a taking of grandparentness too much

The only other person I have is Psychomum and she has 5 of her own.

DH is worn out too (he often has to do DD in the night because I am attached to DS) so I can't even say that i'd go stay with my mum for 24 hours while he took over... especially as I went away overnight last week (but we were out til 2am, so not a restful time away).

Could do with an MN child swap shop - you take someone else's for 24 hours and they have yours in return another time

He's back in his cot again - he's exhausted. Yelling, but slightly quieter... I've put the bumper round the outside of his cot so he can't see out so easily (he was happier when it was on, but when it was inside he kept getting lost underneath it!!)

OP posts:
TheDaVinciCod · 24/10/2006 11:15

yy

colditz · 24/10/2006 11:16

I thought it meant you didn't know what you should be wearing!

now then, you tell us what, precisely, you are doing wrong, and we will tell you about how we got it wronger. Then you will feel better.

Original poster
Flamebat · 24/10/2006 11:17

pmsl!! Is sparkly leg warmers and jelly shoes not a good look then???

On a proper style note - you're all mean... only ONE person put a proper reply to my Xmas do style thread - and I have no idea what to wear!!!

OP posts:
TheDaVinciCod · 24/10/2006 11:17

ah coldy oyu andme both

TheDaVinciCod · 24/10/2006 11:17

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK

SoupDragon · 24/10/2006 11:18

Ah, but DSs are 7 & 5 so much better at dragon sitting

But tell me... should I be wearing sparkely leg warmers with my footless tights?? Ijust can't cope with this style stuff...

colditz · 24/10/2006 11:21

With regards to letting dp take over for a night, try letting him stay out for a night first, so he will be really well rested and you won't feel remotely guilty about doing the same.

Sleep deprivation can shatter your mood. Have you tried bunging baby in a buggy, putting wellies on toddler andf going on a mud hunt, just for the sake of it.

Original poster
Flamebat · 24/10/2006 11:22

xmas do unless you were wanting a link to legwarmers and jellies?

OP posts:
colditz · 24/10/2006 11:22

Yes SD you should. And you should be posting pics for us all to lau- er, see.

SPACEdoutzombieCADET · 24/10/2006 11:25

flamebat-s;leep deprivation used to be used as a form of torture, its one of the less attractive things that comes with being a parent.
you have my full sympathy,i only wish i could say something more constructive, i havent read through properly so forgive me if youve said this, but does he sleep at all during the day, if he does get your head down then, does dh help at weekends so you can catch up on lost sleep etc?

JessaJackOLantern · 24/10/2006 11:29

Colditz's mudhunt sounds like a good idea to me Flame...easy to find yourself 'trapped' in the house, I find it makes me feel worse when I just sit/stand/wander about the house thinking how awful things are, accompanied by the sound of ds squawling...and trip outside could be what it takes to shake ds out of his temper and you out of your 'Argh' (fun for dd too!)