Does anyone else think.......

[hauntymandy]

........some people make being a parent hard work?

.

my kids do

its all this 'new' thinking.
I think its all a bit silly..my opinion only!!!
we are bad parents if..dc watches tv
eats haribo sweets
drinks fruit shoots
doesnr self feed
blah blah blah

I consider myself strict but when I read al ot of opinions on here, I wonder. Chill mums. They will survive even if they get haribo gummy bers and a friut shoot .

Go on, name names.

You know you want to.

FWIW, I think some people don't take being a parent seriously enough.

Up to them, surely? I think if you have the time and energy, then you do it.

If you dont you dont.

Is this inverted smuggery?

lol at inverted smuggery
I like it...
why is self feeding hard work btw?!?

never heard of inverted smuggery...is it like inverted snobbery!?!?!

and yes, hauntymandy .i do!

yep, and it really annoys me - parenting is hard work, so we parents should support each other. There's this weird method of proving how good a parent you are by being negative about certain products or situations. The threads that really get on my nerves are the ones that say things like - Person x has said I'm wrong for breastfeeding/not allowing tv/only buying organic/knitting my own wash cloths do you think they are right? It's all designed to make the poster feel better about themselves as they know we are all going to say that they are absolutely doing the right thing, and the poster knows we are, so why do it.

To make themselves feel better, surely?

Are we all that confident in our parenting choices?

Even those who you think appear smug probably question their actions as much as you do. There will always be something that crops up unexpectedly that we have to deal with, and we dont know how to, or whether we did the right thing. I think that can invoke paranoia in parents.

yes, you're probably right, but isn't it a shame that we feel that.

I just feel some parents make it so hard parenting should be fun. They are little for so little time. Stress when they are 13 maybe but as babies ENJOY

Mmm, this thread makes me feel very uncomfortable. As a relative newcommer who has found parenting extremely hard, it is great to occasionally have my actions validated by other experienced parents.

I applaud and indeed envy those of you who have the confidence to find parenting fun and who relaxed and sure that you are doing the right thing but I find it more difficult. To a degree, I do not really care if my children watch telly, eat sweets or acheive at the same level as their peers but I am concerned that at times I do not know how to ensure that they are happy and therefore welcome reassurance.

AM, parenting should be fun.

I find it more fun knowing that DS1 and DS2 aren't full of junk and I don't have to deal with additive-fuelled temper tantrums.

Live with it.

PS - I'm also sleep-deprived as all hell...

Goosey - I think the point is that parenting is hard, but that some people seem to go out of their way to make life harder for themselves. Its meant to be hard, but fun (kind of like that sense of satisfaction when you stayed up all night to finish an essay, but know when you hand it in that you did a bloody good job - yes, I do have a perverted sense of fun )

Absolutely agree Flamebat - the bit I found disturbing was not the notion that parenting should be fun (although I may a times find that hard to grasp) but the comment about negative posts to make people feel better about themselves.

Sorry if I rambled a bit - have been at work for 26 hours and am losing plot.

I think some parents, mums especially beat themselves up over every aspect of parenting.

To be fair there is so much pressure to do it all and to do it right. With my first I tried so hard to me the perfect mum. I was a trained nursery nurse so I thought everyone would expect me to get it all right.

I struggled to cope even though I had a good baby and I wonder how it would have gone if the feeding and sleeping hadn't gone so well. PND has a lot to answer for. 2nd babies are perhaps easier, out went the terry nappies and washable wipes.

As mine got older and I climbed back out the big black hole I am more chilled, quite strict but more down to earth. Bringing up kids is such a responsibility no wonder we get so stressed about it.

I missed that post - I think I can sort of see what GOS means... like when you ask if people like your new haircut - you don't want them (or expect them) to say no, or even to be honest, you just want a bit of validation and reassurance.

I posted earlier in the week wanting to make sure that I wasn't getting it wrong by having my DD still in nightnappies... yes, it was about making me feel better that the decision I had made was right.

Its nice to get reassurance especially if you can't get it in real life, or you get more negative responses from those around you.

Mumsnet is great if you need to find something out or you are looking for advice, and it is good for ideas and methods. But in all honesty I don't need, want or seek validation of my parenting ability from people I don't really know iyswim.
There are always going to people who agree or disagree with how you do stuff, that's just life.