how would you feel if your 11 year old was calling for 4 year olds to play out?

[Yorkiegirl]

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stick with your instincts

I wouldn't let a child that much older than my sons play wiht them unsupervised

I'd be fine with letting her play with an 11 yo unless your instincts are telling you seperately that there's summat odd. I think kids are far too age segregated generally, tbh.

but an 11 yo is not old enough to supervise a 4 yo imo.

The age difference in itself isn't an issue. Perhaps she just likes little ones - there's a girl in our street who is a real mother hen - she loves spending time with the younger kids. Nothing sinister. I remember her getting a mouthful of abuse from one mother of a younger child who told her she should be hanging around in the park with all the 'normal' kids of her age Yeah....write that grafitti, smoke those fags.....

But I agree with filly - not old enough to look after a 4yr old unsupervised alone.

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Invite her in, I would! then you can keep an eye, and 4 year old gets someone to do drawing and stuff with, and you can get on and do dinner in peace! 11 not old enough to supervise, but definately old enough to read stories etc

FWIW my best friend at this age was just like this, she played more with my 3 year old sister than with me.

it's quite sweet and she might make a great babysitter for the future! when my son was about 6 a boy used to knock for him who was about 11 i was worried at first but they really got on and he still comes round occasionally.

My DS is 11 and where we live there we are in a semi detached and in the other half there are 2 boys {5 and 3 year olds}

We share a front garden with them - it is down an extremeley long driveway away from the road

We are the only houses here apart fom 1 bungalow with a man in - but he has a separate garden and entrance iyswim.

And these boys are always knocking on the door asking for DS to play with them.

He is used to playing with little ones cos I am a childminder.

They idolize him and when we go past their house and they see us they are up at the window waving and calling out.

I don't have a problem with it and DS enjoys playing with them - they play imaginary games and pretending they are going on expeditions or play football or collect conkers.

BUT they are friends of ours too iyswim

I wouldn't feel happy if we lived on an estate and he had gone off somewhere I didn't know where or with who.

AND HE NEVER CALLS ON THEM -- they always call on him

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I think it's a bit odd. I would just continue as you are and say dd cannot come out to play right now and can only come out with you there.

you have to be firm with her and tell her that she is too little to go out, she will get the message eventually.

Oh YG I wouldn't invite her in at all

Cos IMHO she will then keep on coming round each night and it will be really hard to get rid of her

What about telling her she mustn't call round again and that you will call round to her with DD1 when the time is convienent for you.

And then on Sat or sun go round to her house or ring up the mum and explain the situation from your side

Anyway she should have homework to do after school - presume she is year 7

DS doesn't go out during the week he has too much homework to do.

I don't think its odd. I used to love playing with the little ones down our street when I was younger.
If you don't want her to keep knocking just stick to your guns and when she knocks say "xyz is busy/tired , we're going out soon etc" and she'll prob soon get bored and find someone else to play with.
If you're out with her at the wkend then thats diff. Little ones love older children and vice versa, sometimes!

i dont think its odd at all. some kids love to mother the younger ones. dd, also 4, met a lovely 10 yr old on holiday. they were good friends and the older girl helped her to swim.

however, it could suggest that she has few friends her own age, and is lonely.

quite right to want to supervise them, though. i would be just the same. could be hard to accommodate this new friendship, if you dont want her calling round all the time! i can see it could be annoying, but not really odd , imo

One of the girls in our street who must be about that age (she's year 6) quite often calls and asks if ds can play. All quite innocent - I think she just likes playing with his go-kart!

My 6 yo dd has friends from Year 6 she plays with in school (they are 4 years older than her). In fact she did last year when they would have been 5 years older than her. That said, her brother is in year 6 so she is used to being with older children.

but would I let her play out with them after school? No I wouldn't. I suspect your 11 yo caller means no harm, but she should really stick to friends nearer her own age.

We had a child move into the street who was about 5 or 6 years older than ds1 who was 4 at the time, and who was VERY persistent. Trouble was he played quite roughly with our two who were much littler than him. His parents also seemed to assume that I was happy to have him in our garden all day throughout the summer which I wasn't really as they couldn't be left alone with the potential for roughness. They were busy decorating the house so I can understand they'd like to get him off their hands but it became a bit of a pain.I didn't really understand why he wanted to come round when there were older children in the road. Anyway it wore off after a while when I said my boys couldn't play all the time. I think you have to control the situation.

How do you plan on tackling it YorkieGirl?

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