dd doesn't want to go to school - bullying

[lieman]

dd (6) this last week is complaining about sore tummy on the way to school when she has been fine at home. I now have to bring her right to her teacher when before she wanted left at her class room door. this morning she said couldn't find her pinafore which i had left out for her last night so she said she would have to take the day off school. i sent her in her school skirt but it was obvious she wasn't happy. i had asked her yesterday if anything was wrong and she said one girl in her class who she has been freindly with until now won't play with her and won't let the other girls in their group play with her either. i cried all morning at work and hate the thought that she is not happy. my dd is a confident friendly happy child and this has come completely out of the blue.
i spoke to her teacher this afternoon and she said i have been the 3rd or 4th parent complaining about this child. she has spoken to the child before about this but she hasn't noticed anything going on with my dd unless it is going on in the playground.
is there anything i can do to get dd through this? i know i can't hold her hand all the time but i just want her to be happy.

hi ,lieman,so sorry your dd (and you) are going through this. I don't have direct experience of bullying, but do you know who the other children who are being bullied are, and can you talk to their parents about this to ascertain what exactly is happening and when? then you can talk to the teacher (and classroom assistant maybe?) with more information. Does your dd have other good friends in her class or another class she can be with at playtime?
I am sorry i don't really know what else to suggest at this stage, I'm sure you're being reassuring to your dd that she can talk to you,etc. Other mumsnetters will help more than I can.
Let us know how it goes tomorrow. Good luck xxxxx

Lieman, how awful for you. Don't have any experience of this, just didn't ant your message to go unanswered, I am sure other mumsnetter will have some advice.

((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))

lieman, won't the school have policies to deal with this sort of thing? It would be worth checking further - it seems odd that the only thing the teacher has done is speak to the child after 3-4 sets of parents have complained - surely there must be further steps she should be taking by this stage?

Lieman - sorry to hear your dd is so unhappy. My ds was picked on by a child of one of the teachers at school in the same class. I spoke to last year's teacher about it (nothing happened was just told he is a boisterous young man and no harm is intended) and so complained again to this year's teacher and he has noticed the problem however he also thinks he is a boisterous young man. One day my ds came home with his tshirt ripped away from the ribbed neckline where this child pulled my son down by his tshirt - "boisterous my ar$e" he's just a little git.

sorry to hear of the problems that your dd is experiencing, kids can be so cruel My youngest dss was bullied in primary school and the bully in question got other children to join in and, received many complaints from other parents. My advice to you, go to see head teacher to ensure that they follow their bullying procedure and keep an eye on the situation, and, as this is not the first complaint about this child, ask if their parents/carers have been made aware of this situation. As for helping your dd, lots of extra cuddles and assurances from you that you are doing every thing you can to stop this from happening to her. You could also ask the school to select a "buddy" i.e. another child, maybe a little older, that she can go to if she has a problem, a good idea for playground bullying (that can normally go unseen). Do yourself a favour and put your foot down to stamp this problem out immediately. Good luck

thanks everyone. i have actually had this child at my house just before xmas to play with dd and swore she would never be back as she tormented my 3year old son.
i spoke to another mum today about her and she told me her daughter had similar problems. her dd and mine where best friens in p1 but the school the are at has a policy of splitting up children every year so her best friend and dd went to different classes. the other girl would try to play with my dd at break time but the kid from hell seemingly give her a hard time. i was a bit surprised dd didn't stand up for her as they've been good friends for 3 years. this other girl seems to have a power over most of the class. is this normal for a 6year old? i didn't think this would happen to they were much older or am i living in cuckoo land?