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Original poster

Very young kids playing out alone on my parents estate.....

30 replies

northerner · 16/10/2006 09:50

I grew up on a council estate, my parents still live there. We visited them yesterday, as we pulled up there was a group of 4 kids playing outside, alone, unsupervised. 2 of the buys were only 2, the others were 3 or 4. They all threw sticks at our car as we drove past.

Apparntly 1 of these 2 year olds is always out alone, often from 7am in his PJ's. Just wandering around. It's so wrong.

This is not a thread dising council estates btw, don't want a slanging match. I know it's not indicative of all council estate folk, there are some fab people who live there. Just not teh parents of these particular kids.

OP posts:
WelshBoris · 16/10/2006 09:51

Unfortunatly it isnt just in council estates

So so sad, they look like little street rats

hulababy · 16/10/2006 09:54

How awful for those poor children. Sadly I have also seen it - it is now like that on the estate I was brought up on.

I find it really sad. What chances have these children got if they are not getting decent parenting from now. (Evident they aren't as they are throwing things at cars etc and not being reprimanded, and are left unsupervised when far too young)

GRUMPYGHOUL · 16/10/2006 09:59

They sound awfully vulnerable to me and probably not getting enough mental stimulation from substandard parents (hence stone throwing. My eldest is older than this and I still wouldnt allow him out unsupervised in this day & age.

angelsmummy · 16/10/2006 10:55

I had a similar experience a couple of months ago, a young girl who I later found out was only 3 years old, threw a stone and hit my car. I parked up and knocked on the mothers door only to be told "she does it all the time, she doesn't mean it"!

I challenged this only to be with a barrage of abuse?

My own daughter who at the time was 3 asked me why the little girl was playing out without her mummy!

My dd who is now 4 has never been out of our garden on her own, I've been told I'm too protective and that she needs some freedom to get streetwise but not only can I not bring myself to let her "loose" my dd really wouldn't want to.

izzybiz · 16/10/2006 11:54

My mum was walking with my Ds when he was about 2 or 3 down a certain road in the estate where she lives.
There are always skanky looking kids playing out there, and there were aload of little kids playing in an old car in someones front garden.
My DS turns to my mum and says "oh nanny, look at those poor children, they must have no mum, they are all dirty!"
My mum told him "its ok they will have a bath later"
I bet they never

themoon666 · 16/10/2006 11:57

Its no better on my MiL's posh estate full of detached houses arranged into closes. The kids are out on little trykes, running around. Its so scary reversing out of the drive or manoevering around parked cars because of the fear of hitting one of them. Nightmare.

BewitchingBrowny · 16/10/2006 11:59

Hi northerner, those poor little ones need someone to look out for them, obviously their parent's arn't bothered, have you thought about informing the Police or your local social services department, I wouldn't think twice if I saw really little toddlers playing unsupervised.

LadyDooM · 16/10/2006 12:04

Funny how people have time to make babies, but not the time to take care of them. (And Im loving this show about teenage parents on telly.)

GRUMPYGHOUL · 16/10/2006 12:16

Exactly if they wanted something cute that they didnt really have to look after they should have just got a cat.

BewitchingBrowny · 16/10/2006 12:17

Doesn't anyone think that the police etc, should be informed of these little ones playing out on their own? Surely, it is extremely dangerous, the poor little ones could be run over, kidnapped, or get lost?

LadyDooM · 16/10/2006 12:26

Yes And when one of them does, the mother will cry and say "oh how could this have happened to me"... sickening isnt it? Or " But I only left (he/she/them) alone for a second...

And yes, if I saw kids that young unsupervised I would call the police.

LadyDooM · 16/10/2006 12:27

(him/her/them) sorry!

BewitchingBrowny · 16/10/2006 12:29

LadydooM, I just thought I was being overly protective, glad you'd do the same as me. I've had friends of my children knocking on my door, telling me their mum/dad etc. have gone out somewhere and "will be back soon", but me being the worrier that I am, I always ask them to come in and play (they're here all the time anyway), some days it's like a playgroup in my house!

LadyDooM · 16/10/2006 12:57

I don't think you can be to overprotective these days .. unfortunately..

I am extremely over protective of my kids. And Thats the way I have to be, in a society where you cannot trust nearly anyone.

BewitchingBrowny · 16/10/2006 13:03

My eldest is 10 years old now and I've only recently allowed her to play in the church grounds opposite our house. I was worried about her, but her close friends are one year older than her and have just started senior school. She was upset at first when I said she couldn't go, but then I thought about it and we've agreed that she has her mobile phone with her in case something comes up and we always agree on a time for her to come home. I think it teaches her responsibility and the little bit of freedom boosts her confidence.

slaughterfalls · 16/10/2006 13:13

There are always children from the age of 2/3 out alone on the eastate I live in, I just dont understand how the parents can relax while they are out, I am pretty sure if I let my nearly 3 yr old dts out alone, there stands a good chance I would'nt see them for many days, and they would be down as missing.

QueenEvil · 16/10/2006 13:28

I too live on a council estate (well, housing association but the same thing). The family in question have since been evicted but their kids were frequently out at 8 and 9pm at night in only a t-shirt and nappy and always running around alone in daylight hours, often supervised only by their older siblings who themselves can't have been more than 5..

moaningpaper · 16/10/2006 13:33

I think that us middle class mummies are just over-protective and sucked into a media-created culture of fear

The children who we are all feeling sorry for are out in the fresh air, socialising with other children, while our own are sitting at home watching us hoover and being dragged to Jo Jingles once a week to watch grown women singing Ten Fluffy Teddybears Sitting On A Wall. Which is worse?

Dottydot · 16/10/2006 13:56

This is such a tricky one, and close to my heart. Ds1 is 4 and this summer we started to let him play out on the pavement outside our house. He's allowed to only play on the one side - i.e. not cross over, and he's not allowed to go around the corners (we're an end terrace). But there's probably about 10 yards each way that we can't see from our window.

I really don't like it, but we let him because (a) we haven't got a garden and (b) other children from houses across the road (on the council side..! ) play out as well.

The children he plays with run around all over the place - crossing roads etc. but ds1 being ds1 follows our rules to the letter and would never do this. So I think it's down to the individual child. I can't imagine letting ds2 play out until he's at least 18 because he thinks rules are only there to be smashed into little pieces.

But it definitely makes me feel nervous - I'd never sit down in another room in the house where I couldn't at least hear him for example, and we're putting the house up for sale in the Spring - primarily because the lack of garden means if they want to play out, they have to play on the pavement.

Having said all that, ds1 has had real problems in the past communicating, playing, being with other children and all that seems to go out of the window when he's playing out - I can hear him talking to the other children and it's brilliant. He's getting fresh air, new experiences (mainly digging up worms) and is happy.

Dottydot · 16/10/2006 13:57

And my Mum thinks it's outrageous that we let him go out to play and would probably phone social services if she thought she could get away with it...

mumandlovingit · 16/10/2006 14:15

my children are 4 and 5.they will do whatever the older children do as they assume the older children do what is right and what they should be doing and are safe!

they couldnt be more wrong.everyday there are children playing outside the front of my house with footballs, kicking them from one side of the road to the other, nearly being hit by cars as they dont even look before they run out.

they ride their bikes i the middle of the road whether there are cars coming or not and the language is appaulling (like my spelling)

we live in an end terrace and the corner next to my house is awfult o get round in a car.the kids are nearly always in the road and there is no way my kids are playing out there.

i wouldnt trust other peoples children to look after mine and mae sure that they arent in the road and not wandering off or with strangers

there are parks, back ardens, friends houses that they can play round.roads and paths are meant for pedestrians and vehicles, not children playing chicken etc

every area is different, i dont live in a council estate, but there's so many times that people have had near misses with the children outside that i think myself lucky that mine dont play out there alone.

if we dont lok after our children and keep them safe then noone else will.

mumandlovingit · 16/10/2006 14:18

to be fair, my friend lives on a councl estate and the childre play out there on a large area of grass where nearly every flat window faces.they are more safe there than outsde mine.

LadyDooM · 16/10/2006 14:57

My kids get plenty of fresh air, and play time outside. We don't have a garden at moment, so we walk to the park. The point is They are supervised. And I know that sometimes when you think a child is outside alone, they are being watched carefully through windows or frequent checking up. But there are also kids that do not have any supervision at all. With how things are these days, no one can afford to " be back in a minute" or"I'll just be a second" because we all know it just takes a minute to for a child to disapear,or worse.

moaningpaper · 16/10/2006 15:58

LadyDoom, your name is very apt

divastrop · 16/10/2006 20:01

i live in a housing association house,and i am working class and i wouldnt dream of letting ds2(age 3)play out,even with ds and dd1(who are nearly 9 and 8).i started letting the older 2 play out on the street with me sitting out there supervising,when they were 4 and 5,and they started playing without supervision from about 5-6,but with strict instructions how far they could go from the house.
i too see children from ds2's nursery,who are only just 3,playing out unsupervised,and it scares me.
another thing thats worried me where i live ,are 2 sisters age 9 or 10(at the most) playing out and taking who i think is their baby sister or cousin with them.the baby looks younger than 1.is that normal practise?!