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Original poster

I feel really sad today

13 replies

jambuttie · 13/10/2006 15:01

It is 7 years today since I lost my 1st baby

Had to deliver at 17.5 weeks, they wouldnt tell me what I was carrying either

Sorry just wanted to say it, have been avoiding the subject all day keeping wellbusy but now I have sat down it's all i can think about

Just hope that the baby knows I do love it even it it ain't here- feels horrid calling it an it too

OP posts:
Tinkerbel5 · 13/10/2006 15:03

oh jam bless you hugs

I think it will help the grieving process if you can find out what sex it was, I think its disgusting they wouldnt tell you.

Heavenis · 13/10/2006 15:04

You poor thing jambuttie. It's very sad that you didn't get time to spend with your baby.
I'm sure your baby knows the love you have.

dejags · 13/10/2006 15:04

Poor you Jambuttie

It must be so hard. Nothing constructive, just wanted to let you know I'd seen this.

dejags
x

snowleopard · 13/10/2006 15:08

Jambuttie, I'm so sorry to hear aboutthis and that you're having a hard day - i hope posting helps.

I haven't been through this and forgive me if this is a silly or upsetting idea, but if there isn't a way to find out the sex, could you name your baby anyway - maybe a name that could be for either sex - and then you won't have to use "it"?

Or could the hospital tell you? It's terrible that they didn't.

3andnomore · 13/10/2006 15:45

(((jambuttie))), of course that Baby will know it was loved. It must be a very difficult day for you, maybe letting a Ballon fly to your lil one will help or just lighting a candle!
Love and Hugs to you!

BloodRedRubyRioja · 13/10/2006 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lulumama · 13/10/2006 15:56

well, if you can;t find out what sex the baby was... you can say he or she depending on what you felt - did you feel either way ? the baby will have known, for those 17 .5 weeks that is was loved and cared for and wanted.....

lovely idea about the balloon from 3andnomore....

MarsLady · 13/10/2006 15:57

Thinking of you jambuttie.

bloodcurdlingstrawb · 13/10/2006 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
jambuttie · 13/10/2006 16:22

Thank you all for your kind thoughts

I had my little cry earlier but still feel all sad

I was then and still think now that it was a boy not sure why just the feelings I have, I had the little footprints out earlier today and spoke to them- may sound silly I know but just a few words from mummy

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 13/10/2006 16:39

Oh jambuttie - a few words from Mummy doesn't sound silly at all.

It's been over 20 years since I lost my first baby to miscarriage. I wasn't allowed to see the baby or given anything to remember her by, and like you I don't even know whether the baby was a boy or a girl. I felt she was a girl though and I have always called her she. I named her too, so I at least have a name even if I have nothing else.

Do you think it would help to allow yourself to call your baby he? Or to name him? I know how much it helped me to give my baby a name and an identity.

Thinking of you.

Original poster
jambuttie · 14/10/2006 08:30

Hiya

Thanks all for your kind messages yesterday.

I have always thought it was a boy and had given "him" a name.

Todays another day and I am sure it will get easier- I will always have my sad days I am sure but hopefully my baby is so happy wherever he is

OP posts:
scarymaryme · 14/10/2006 08:39

Oh big hugs jambuttie
xxx

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