Please, any advice greatfully recieved. New to Mumsnnet so not up to date on etiquette so please bear with me. My brother died earlier this year in a road accident and since then his once not all together perfect wife has bit by bit shut off all contact with us (his family). She (no doubt through loneliness to begin with) has got involved with her ex who has recently been in prison on drug and gbh offences. And since then has cut us off one by one. The ex is now living with her and her 2 sons (my brothers) and daughter(ex's biological,though since the day she was born has only ever known my brother as her dad)and i am so scared for there physical and mental well being i don't know what to do. It would take too long to list my reasons why but they are completely genuine and i just can't sleep at night worrying what those poor boys and girl might be living through. The problem i have is knowing where as an aunty, or grandparents we can go as loving, living family members to ensure the safety and well being of our loved ones. There was talk of a family conference arranged by social services which was cancelled by the mother, my mother and father (divorced) have contacted social services yet get no feed back, and the police have been involved because of death threats and other very abusive phone and text msgs left by wife and ex. Yet nothing seems to get done, and all i am bothered about is HOW FAR DO THINGS HAVE TO GO WITH CHILDREN THIS AGE BEFORE SOMETHING IS DONE????? i'm scared the answer is too far, how do they feel late at night, scared?, frightened?, unloved?. And are they being abused? There is undoubted use off drugs going on in that house, bedtimes and mealtimes get forgotten, dirty nappies go unchanged and the every day whimpers of a 1 and 3 year, let alone 6 year old get ignored lord knows tolerated? I've seen this this for myself, before i was cut out - i made sure meals were made and nappies were changed, this woman doesn't have a maternal bone in her body.( It's not grief - my brother did everything while he was alive - though we never realised why until now) Social services are "checking up" on them but they BOOK an appointment to see them. SUPRISE! STATIONS READY! You don't have to be an idiot to work that one out! As not only aunty to them 6,3 and 1, i am also mother to a 12 month old which makes it so much harder to switch off from the fear of what they might be suffering. I am well aware that grandparents don't have many rights these days without consent but what do you do in a case like this and at what point and for what reasons could we take this to court? Trust me Mumsnetters she's not fit - i wish you could see!